I am feeling a lot of grief even though my mother is still here. I really do miss my mum.

I cared for my mom for years through Alzheimer's and was blessed to be holding her hand as she took her final breath.

Mourning the mom you have always known is normal. Now I find I miss two mom's, the one that I always loved and called when I had a question..... And the tiny, frail mom I loved and cared for in the final years.

I am sorry you have to walk this path... But I am sure that inside, your mom is so happy she has you.

When my mother started showing signs of cognitive decline, I kept looking and latching on to signs that she was still there. Mom had been diagnosed by a neurologist and geriatric doctor as having dementia, and I was given indication of what to expect, but still held hope that mother that I knew was there.
After one particular horrible encounter with her put me into an emotional tailspin. I had to step back, and I found myself going through a grieving process in accepting that the person who nurtured and loved me was no longer there. In doing this I had to take time away from being around her, so that I could heal and be there for her in a way that was healthy for both of us. I still feel pain of knowing my mother is no longer who she once was, but I’ve accepted dementia is the reason why.

I think this is a common feeling that many people have felt. The person that is being cared for changes so much that they truly aren’t the same person anymore.

I wish we all had magic wands and could wave illnesses and disease away.

Take care.

Grief is a normal emotion for someone caring for an AD LO even before death. We experience both "anticipatory" and "ambiguous" grief. Anticipatory is the feeling of expecting someone's death. There is no cure or even treatment for AD so death is anticipated. Ambiguous grief is watching our LO slowly decline and not being with us mentally, but still alive. Most of us go thru one or the other or both types of grieving. We all deal with it in our own ways and eventually have to work thru it so it doesn't consume our own lives. Don't assume that "time will heal all". It's what you DO with that time that will help to bring you to peace.

There are some excellent books on grief and grieving. "The Grief Recovery Handbook", "The Essential Guide to Grief and Grieving", and "How to go on Living When Someone You Love Dies", among others. Check with your library or Amazon to find these.