I have taken care of my husband from Bedridden for 7 months to wheelchair for over a year. Now past two years walker. Now my health is getting worse totally. I have had enough. He refuses to go to his doctor he sits in recliner for 8 hours from 9 to 9 at times 8 to 7:30 pm. He only gets up to go to bathroom and to bed. Lived in apt for 2 years almost never once walked to kitchen at all. He has only been outside about 7 times in the past 2 yrs. No desire. Had enough waiting on him and letting my health go. Want to live life now. Not being selfish I did all what I could for him the past 5 years on my own. Sorry to say we lived in GA for 5 years he said he did not want to die in GA so I got him up here in DE. He had 2 heart surgeries, two strokes, neck surg, two hip surg. He ran out on me long before this. I was ready to leave him in 1997, but stood by him to help him. Stopped loving him long ago, but not a cold hearted person No one else would help him...

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You sound as though you are ready to leave. It might be worth walking out for a week or two, leaving him to sort out what to do. He might reform (!), he might work out a sensible alternative (!), or he might learn to appreciate you. Of course, he might set fire to the apartment, so check the insurance before you go. If you come back and the place is a pig stye, you can always turn around and leave again. But a trial run really could be a good idea before you just quit.

Seems he can get up and walk and isn't incontinent. So do what a friend did for his MIL. He had a business locally. He would get her up, feed her and get her comfortable in her recliner. Leave her with water and snacks. Turn on her TV and leave the remote. At lunch, he would come home and get her lunch. Make sure she was all set up and back to work he'd go.

You could do the same thing. Get him breakfast. Set him up for the day, lunch made ahead in the frig. Then do your thing. Get a p/t job. Shop, Lunch with friends. He has just taken advantage of a situation. Its time for you to say no more.

I understand. He may have depression also which keeps him in a chair. See if a nurse aid can come to your place to do an evaluation ( this website may have resources to find one in your area.)
Take care of you first. See if there is a adult day care and a transport to take him.

My thoughts are with you !

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