Husband's hearing loss is driving me batty!

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Hubby is 63, has had about 75% hearing loss in his right ear due to an untreated infection many years ago. Now his left ear is getting bad--I find myself shouting at him all day. One of my kids said, the other day "Mom, why are you talking so loudly??" and I realize that it's because hubby cannot hear me when I use my "normal voice". He wears headphones when he watches TV to hear, so all other sound is blocked out. I have to find him to talk to him--I can't call out from another room. The kids will not leave the grandkids with him b/c he doesn't hear them. He also is kind of checked out, mentally, so he stopped "listening" to me years ago. This bothers me, but I have grown used to it. He can't hear the doorbell, the phone, the oven timer going off, sirens when in the car, dialogue on TV and normal toned conversation. He says "What?" "What?" over and over. He refuses to get his hearing checked b/c he says that his hearing is fine, the rest of the world mumbles. The ENTIRE rest of the world??? His mother is almost stone deaf, and her hearing aids drive her nuts because they pick up a lot of ambient sounds. He has not had his hearing checked for 25 years, certainly there's some better technology out there!! I have laryngitis today and trying to talk to him has been impossible--I have to write down what I want to say. I'm not totally w/o a voice, and my kids can hear and understand me, but tonight I hit the wall about this stubborn man who refuses to take care of this. He misses EVERYTHING. He's the dude in the theater going "What did they say??" really loudly b/c he misses 90% of the dialogue. Who else has dealt with this?? Some of this is genetic, I know, but not all. I told him all I want for Christmas is hearing aids for him. HE doesn't see that this behavior makes him look 90..and he's only 63!

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Wait til he finds out they're obsolete within 5 years. On second thought better not tell him that part.😉
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Hubby came home from the hearing aid place WITHOUT any hearing aids. I was a little (not that much) shocked--but he said "These are going to cost between $3600-$5600!! I said, "I know. I told you that already. Why didn't you buy them?" Silence. "Wellll.....I don't know".

Found out he was mad at me for not calling the ins co to see if they paid a straight 80% of the cost or 80% of "reasonable and/or customary". I said, "You could have called them. But I will. And by the way, I DON'T CARE what they cost. Stop putting your anger on me dude, if my hearing loss was as bad as yours, I wouldn't spare the cost!"

He's just being him, Letting me know he's still his own boss. Like anything I ever say gets any value anyway (sigh).

I said I'd call the ins co and he should just make an apt to GET the aids. We went out to eat and he kept telling me that the "guy" worked with people MUCH more deaf than he is. I don't know why this is so important to him. I said "Well, let's make you a tshirt that says "I wear hearing aids so my wife will shut up". Honestly, honey, NOBODY CARES how "bad" your hearing is. Just deal with it.

I am glad that all 5 of my kids are backing me on this. They're all sick to death of his "checked out" state.

Right now he's just really angry because he needs hearing aids, and doesn't want to get them, but in his heart, knows he needs them. (all throughout dinner he kept referring to what a great athlete he was in his younger days.) I know this is hard for him, getting older.....he's in terrible shape, diabetic now and depressed. Hoping getting him to HEAR the beautiful sounds around him will lift his spirits some.
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Well I hope things work out better for you! My husband got the hearing aids and has worn them a total of maybe 2 hours in the last week!! I am at my wits end and just plain tired of repeating myself and arguing about why he is not wearing them. UGGGGHHH!!
I think I will just stop talking to him!!! %&$$$%%^$$#$!!
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Just an FYI--Hubby is going in today for a trial run of hearing aids. I expect very little at this point....just hope he can find some that work really well for him.

I did point out to him, yesterday at church, how many of the men were wearing hearing aids. I think he was tad surprised, as most of them, you cannot see the devices at all.

2 grandkids were fighting LOUDLY within 3 feet of him last night. He could not hear them. My daughter blew her stack at him--"Dad, seriously?? How can I trust you to take my kids ANYWHERE if you can't hear them from a few feet away? You can't take them fishing if you don't hear them." (he'd been talking about wanting to take them fishing and how I wasn't allowed along---)

He did mumble an apology (as this fight was becoming physical)...and told daughter that he was getting hearing aids today, to which she replied "GOOD! And about 10 years too late!"

Hopefully the combined efforts and care of all the family will impel him to work at finding and WEARING the right aids. I hope for the best.

I'm hoping that he (as an avid bird watcher) will appreciate being able to hear the calls of the birds when we are out "birding". Plus the sweet voices of the g-kids (when they are not beating each other up :)
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medicare has just started a new plan to cover hearing aids.
The snag is you have to go to a specified audiologist and use only their brand. I can't remember the name and had never heard of them so have not idea of how good they are or how easy to wear.
If they seem to loud or soft it is only a few clicks on the computer and the audiologist can adjust them. When they are too loud you do get a lot of background noise which is quite annoying and makes it more difficult to hear.
Sometimes you can buy a good brand on Ebay and there are even people who can do the adjustments. you do need aproper physical hearing test though. However she audiologists do offer them free.
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So what do you when your partner can't AFFORD hearing aids? His SS is only $550 per month and I have been unemployed for 3 years. NJ has a hearing aid assistance program ($100) and neither Medicare nor Medicaid covers them. Meanwhile I am terrified my hearing is going to be affected because I have to talk so loudly and the TV has to so loud. (Loud enough it hurts my ears and gives me a headache, even with earplugs.) He won't wear those TV headphones because then he can't hear me, but he did like his hearing aids 10 years when he had them.
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Hearing again after 30 years of low volume is going to be a HUGE adjustment for him... fingers crossed he understands the benefits and keeps with it.
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I am accused of mumbling all the time by my husband. He has hearing aids which were quite expensive.....what a waste of money. They need new batteries every week and he still has problems hearing. He is 82 and has dementia so don't know if that has a lot to do with it. We seem to argue a lot now as he can be so difficult and will not go to the doctors to see if his ears need cleaning out. Ohhhhhh happy days SIGH
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That IS wonderful news!!! Please keep us in the loop. I'm so happy for you and your husband - if he can regain some of his hearing, his whole world will open up!
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Mid, wow, just wow! That's so wonderful! Keep us in the loop!
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