Longevity genes have his family living until their 90's, even with Alzheimer's. That is why I am afraid of his getting diabetes and living with it for several years on top of dementia. It is a daily battle with a childlike person wanting sweet comfort foods. But I am also afraid that if he does develop diabetes, I will be the one to struggle with both diseases. I am trying to keep him active with some exercise, but he and his predecessors became very antisocial when they became sick. He doesn't want to go with me anymore to outside activities. I am trying to keep the food in the house healthy, but it is still a battle when we eat out, the only outside activity he wants to participate in. With my frail health now as well, grocery shopping, fixing meals, keeping up with the house, etc., I am just too tired now to battle much more.
I would also still aim for the least "displeasure" in managing his blood sugar levels. If that means more drugs, so be it.
Do keep us informed on how this progresses for you.
I wondered if your husband is in mid-stage dementia now. From what you write, he is. I know how hard it is to convince someone to change what they eat. Some of the sugar-free things are pretty good and can help satisfy the sweet tooth without sugar overload. My mother is diabetic and has a sweet tooth. She does well with eating something like a sugar-free vanilla Snack Pak when she wants something sweet. She also likes a couple of sugar-free cookies. She also loves the sugar-free candies that you can get in the small bags at the grocery store. I have to watch her with these, though, because she'll eat the whole bag -- not good. All these things have carbs and fats, but in small amounts can help people feel like they're not being deprived. (They can also cause diarrhea if too much is eaten.)
You seem to have your hands full there. In a strange way I envy the people who have to deal with only one thing, e.g. dementia. If you add in other problems, it complicates things tremendously. My mother has dementia, diabetes, hypertension, and severe spinal arthritis, so sometimes I feel I am juggling medications. The diabetes is the toughest, since I have to try to fix balanced meals for someone who only wants to eat certain things. I can't just order pizza for dinner. :'(
No real advice here. I am just hoping you can get some rest for yourself.
Would it be easier to care for hubby if your Mom and the other person were in a continuing care facility? You might want to check with Medicaid to see what is available, or if someone can come to your house to help you. You definitely are on emotional and physical overload.
Please note that 1 out of every 3 caregiver dies while caring for a love one... ask yourself what would everyone do if you were no longer there?