Husband passed away unexpectedly
Just wanted to share that you can never take anything for granted. My 84-year-old husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s about 5 years ago, but probably had onset 3-4 years earlier. Though he was frail and had balance and mobility problems, we were coping OK, with help from home health aides, and with a lot of family support in the area. He was declining and frail, but mentally OK, engaged, enjoyed life. We were of course anticipating further decline, and the eventual specter of end stage Parkinson’s. But that was not to be, which is a blessing. Monday evening, he had concerning symptoms suddenly, transported to ER where they did immediate CT scan, and he was diagnosed with a hemorrhagic stroke in a very lethal area of the brain. He was on a blood thinner for afib, so that likely either contributed or caused the bleed. He died by 6:40 in the next morning, kept comfortable with medications (a little bit of versed and Haldol at first, and low doses of morphine over the course of the night). Three daughters, a grand daughter and I kept vigil in the hours until he passed, talking to him, stroking him, telling him how much we loved him. Four other of the children who were out of state we kept updated moment by moment in a group text. We shared reminiscences with him and read reminiscences from the texts of the family who weren't there. Though he was not responsive, we hope he was "there" enough to hear us and feel our touch. His last hour was especially peaceful, with his breathing not labored, body relaxed. He wasn't heavily drugged, but I think the meds allowed him to be at ease in the dying process. I hope he wasn't afraid. We are not spiritual people, so didn't really have that comfort but we do have hope. In the back of my mind, I had hoped he would pass quickly from something other than Parkinson’s such as a stroke or heart attack. Sadly (or perhaps for the best) my wish came true. I just wish that we had been more ready, and it hadn't happened so soon.
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Even though his passing was sooner than you anticipated, you and your family made it a special time and I think, there are no regrets. I hope there is much comfort over the coming days and you celebrate your husband's life.
And do please keep coming here. Your words have so much value.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies, peace and comfort during this new season in your life.
My condolences, so sorry for your loss.
Knowing PD and rapid progression, many wish for quick end instead of facing ravages of this disease. As they don‘t die from it, then the end will probably be quick and unexpected for many. Be assured, as many say people hear before passing, he knew he was loved and his life mattered.
I pray you will be comforted by those memories and the fact you did the right thing for him.
You may be right about the cause or contribution of the blood thinners. Atrial Fib is quite common in elders, both I am my partner have it. We have both refused blood thinners and are on 2 decades of it for me with baby aspirin and 1 1/2 for him with the same, and with a pacer. But with that we make the best decision we can at the time. Many are on blood thinners without problems. My problem was that as a nurse I saw the side effects when they happened and they were dire and catastropic. Atrial fib means you are more likely to have a stroke, but blood thinners complicate that with the more rare hemorrhagic strokes, often more quick and lethal.
While we can "guess" what caused it, and everyone will have an opinion, the beginning and the end is that this happened, and while it was likely an "easy death" for him who was imagining further slow losses one at a time, it was so fast for you that the shock is great.
What a beautiful last time you had with him and family. As a nurse I always saw people who could not respond as almost like the child who is riding home in the back seat of the car, maybe from Thanksgiving at grannies, full of good food and fun with cousins, just dozing off in the lull of the back seat listening to the voices of the parents in front seat chatting away about the day. For me it was one of the blessed and happy moments. I couldn't respond or take part, but the lovely lull of my much cherished parents was a wonder and a gift. I hope it was so for your hubby.
Thank you for telling us. I hope in future you will stay with us on Forum and contribute to others.
My heart goes out to you.
It sounds like he had a good death surrounded by loved ones with the medical care needed to keep him comfortable.
I know my Mum wishes for a similar quick departure. She is equally afraid of losing her mind and control over her body.