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We both want to stay home, and so far I think he does better with me caring for him at home, but I don't want to keep him here if he needs the care at nursing home?

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I don't know what you are dealing with but there are a lot of steps available between home and a NH, would senior living or assisted living be a better fit?

Getting you added help to care for him might work and allow you your independence still.

Just a thought.
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That you are asking, it is a good signal that you recognize that you are nearly there if you aren't already. And that is ok.
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