Like others have said, it definitely sounds like some kind of dementia going on in which case you cannot reason with him. Instead just throw away all of his old underwear and replace them with his "new" underwear Depends.
I found some improvement when the drawer was changed to contain incontinence briefs ONLY.
Not wearing any at all would appear to me to be sequencing/memory issue eg putting on trousers before thinking about briefs. Or possibly functional eg not being about to work out top from bottom or leg holes of briefs - so giving up.
Either way, some sort of supervision/prompting may be required. If the little check the waistband is working - great! 👍
I don't live with my LO so backed out of the issue, but l have noticed the incontinent briefs are again kept separately, not in the drawer & wondered why? I presume still denial? There was such reluctance to change to more absorbant styles/products. There is denial surroundong self-managing during the day & denial that assistance is required when out. Also lack of planning to take adequate supplies when out solo. I cannot fix it.
Sorry to hijack, but open to advice.
I sure hope your Dad has a sense of humour & can be jollied along to check, change & be kept clean.
Um, this is far more than mild dementia and pride. That ship sailed.
Mild dementia might have him forgetting to unzip his pants or forgetting to zip up--not going commando and being OK with double incontinence. That is a MUCH larger problem.
I took all FIL's thongs (yep, the man wore thong underwear--totally useless for any type of 'containment') and replaced them with incontinence briefs. If we were going anywhere, he had to show me (Just the waistband) that he was wearing them.
His own kids wouldn't take a hard line with him so I had to. Ugh, One of the more unpleasant things I had to do b/c his kids just...couldn't.
Sigh. This is when a robot needs to stand in the corner to prompt his dressing routine. Picturing a cheery bleep noise being emmitted & a spoken Thankyou when the Depends are put on..
Sadly no robot for this yet.. human still required.
Prompts. Supervision. Assistance. Eventially taking over the task.
many parents won't listen to their adult child, but they might listen to a hired caregiver.
a friend of mine's mother (mild dementia) (good memory for other things) actually wasn't against adult diapers. but she would forget, or wouldn't know how to do it. every step had to be explained and done together with her daughter.
Dad has more than "mild dementia " going on if he refuses to wear incontinence briefs and goes commando, resulting in feces and urine being released everywhere but where it belongs! A person of "pride" would never allow such a thing to happen. Once dementia sets in, pride disappears along with logic and common sense.
Let dad know that he either wears Depends now 24/7 or he lives in Memory Care Assisted Living immediately bc you're not going to clean up his "accidents" anymore.
I have removed all of his boxers. When he doesn't feel the need to wear them, he goes commando. I have to constantly ask him if he's wearing them and often check his waistband. the problem is that if I don't, I usually find out too late.
You ask how to reason with your father. Is your father suffering from dementia, because it seems to me that this would only happen to someone who is not capable of reasoning.
So if Dad has dementia and is incapable of reasoning he may require some placement where staff will see to it that he is properly protected.
Instead just throw away all of his old underwear and replace them with his "new" underwear Depends.
He MUST have dementia. That’s not normal. No one wants to be covered in urine/feces all day.
If dementia is severe, you can’t reason with the person. In any case, your dad will listen more to non-family (like hired care), than to you.
I found some improvement when the drawer was changed to contain incontinence briefs ONLY.
Not wearing any at all would appear to me to be sequencing/memory issue eg putting on trousers before thinking about briefs. Or possibly functional eg not being about to work out top from bottom or leg holes of briefs - so giving up.
Either way, some sort of supervision/prompting may be required. If the little check the waistband is working - great! 👍
I don't live with my LO so backed out of the issue, but l have noticed the incontinent briefs are again kept separately, not in the drawer & wondered why? I presume still denial? There was such reluctance to change to more absorbant styles/products. There is denial surroundong self-managing during the day & denial that assistance is required when out. Also lack of planning to take adequate supplies when out solo. I cannot fix it.
Sorry to hijack, but open to advice.
I sure hope your Dad has a sense of humour & can be jollied along to check, change & be kept clean.
Mild dementia might have him forgetting to unzip his pants or forgetting to zip up--not going commando and being OK with double incontinence. That is a MUCH larger problem.
I took all FIL's thongs (yep, the man wore thong underwear--totally useless for any type of 'containment') and replaced them with incontinence briefs. If we were going anywhere, he had to show me (Just the waistband) that he was wearing them.
His own kids wouldn't take a hard line with him so I had to. Ugh, One of the more unpleasant things I had to do b/c his kids just...couldn't.
Sadly no robot for this yet.. human still required.
Prompts. Supervision. Assistance. Eventially taking over the task.
a friend of mine's mother (mild dementia) (good memory for other things) actually wasn't against adult diapers. but she would forget, or wouldn't know how to do it. every step had to be explained and done together with her daughter.
Let dad know that he either wears Depends now 24/7 or he lives in Memory Care Assisted Living immediately bc you're not going to clean up his "accidents" anymore.
Is your father suffering from dementia, because it seems to me that this would only happen to someone who is not capable of reasoning.
So if Dad has dementia and is incapable of reasoning he may require some placement where staff will see to it that he is properly protected.
Does dad have dementia? If so, reasoning isn't going to be effective.
Have you removed all of his regular underwear and replaced them with incontinence briefs?