Long story short- father in nursing rehab facility last 45 days. He had been hospitalized with intestinal issues and was too weak for stepmother to care for him. While in hospital developed dementia which is continuing. He is ok about 85% of time though and we want him back home for 30 days to see if it disipates. Then would be willing to consider memory care if it doesn't but he has had a 45 day kidney infection that we wonder might also be contributing to dementia. Stepmother doesn't want him to come home at all. Sister and I made clear we are willing to stay with him around clock for those 30 days. She wants to place him in a home instead. Normally had a very good relationship with her but all of a sudden she doesnt want anything to do with us.
Our concerns are #1- how do we get him back into his own home (it's in both of their names) ? #2 He has long term care policy which she has not allowed us to see. #3 What is to keep her from depleting their assets and diverting them away ? Wouldn't think she would do that but now not so sure.
We really can't determine what it is that she wants. Their relationship had been good before but since he has been ill the for better and for worse, in sickness and in health seems to be swept to the side. She was visiting him daily but seems to be backing down and also is now avoiding us and won't answer the phone. I don't want to find my dad in poverty for the remainder of his life.