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I have not been on in a while. Its had its ups and downs. My grandmother finally got used to the nursing home. She has been diagnosed with vascular dementia by one doctor he may think she had a stroke and another diagnosed with dementia. My visits to the nursing home has its good and bad days some days she snaps at the nurses for just trying to give her an insulin shot after her meal. On my end I'm still awaiting to get the guardianship I signed the papers to be presented to the judge back in September. As of now I didn't have to go to court two weeks ago for the judge to sign the papers, but I still have to wait to see the judge to be granted guardian. Oh boy do I got a lot to pay the nursing home already has a debt of 35K plus all the other bills I need to pay. It's draining my own money even paying some to the nursing home. To start it off, to everyone make sure your elder relatives have a POA. Don't go thru what I'm going thru. Some days I want to scream. I just hope I get everything resolved before the year is over, I don't know how much more I can take.

Go in disguise..? 👻

You could have fun standing outside their office window and making rude gestures.

Hope you're on the last lap and it goes smoothly from here.
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@countrymouse I can agree on that but the guardianship is almost complete I had to take care of some stuff on Friday such as getting the shortibond and getting the papers to finalize to the lawyers so after thanksgiving I should have the papers to take care of everything and even the nursing home but they aint getting another dime out of me they will have to WAIT!!!! I haven't even finished off the application for the place because of one bank I do not know the actual balance of. I will have to go there to visit Tuesday but I will have to avoid that billing dept there
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I wouldn't agree that these people *want* to put caregivers through the wringer. I would say, rather, that they don't give the proverbial flying ***k who they put through the wringer as long as they can point to a $ result.

The individuals you speak to work to Key Performance Indicators. Payments, or commitments to pay, towards a given account are one of their KPIs. From your point of view, the essential thing is to remember that this is their problem and not yours.
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@countrymouse I communicated with the hall of records in her town in NJ they wanted me to make the payment even though I was awaiting guardianship. even the nursing home they called me the other day the finance person requesting I pay a little more I did not call back im not giving them another dime tbh its not like they are not going to get paid with a balance of 35k its gonna get paid when I get the papers tomorrow and get in the banks to figure which one to use she has money in 4 different banks I already got my work cut out for me. I don't think anyone cares if you are awaiting a guardianship process which is lengthy in itself they all know they have to wait but are not satisfied until a dollar goes in their pocket. they want to make sure the caregiver goes through hell and back. I have not paid the bills at the house since September the bills build up fine I will have the guardianship papers tomorrow then get everything paid off to zero and cut off things cable is one. i'll return the box and equiptment to them ,pay the gas/heating, electricity which by now has probably been shut off ,qvc account find that entire balance and pay that off and cut it off phone disconnect the line and a couple of others they are all small bills. this is all new to me I never have gone thru this before. when my mom passed that was different the only thing I had to pay for was death certificates and her funeral was paid off with a fraction of her life insurance and all her bills were paid with a estate account that seemed easier than going thru this
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Coneal, *stop* paying out of your own pocket.

The NH has to be paid, the taxes have to be paid, etc etc etc - yes, they do. But they are no more *your* liability than they are mine (and I sure as heck ain't paying 'em!).

Be a wall. The guardianship application is pending. Once it is settled, you will be able to act on your grandmother's behalf but until that time comes her creditors will have to like it or lump it and wait. With the taxes, did you try speaking to the payees and explaining the situation?
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because the nursing home needs some sort of payment even though I explained Im working on getting the guardianship I only gave them 1,000 to start plus to that I had to pay the doctors who came to do analysis on her thru the lawyers but will be getting it back once I become guardian which is finalized. I go for that on Friday. I even had to pay the property tax on her house or else the house will foreclose down the road. the only thing I stopped paying was the bills at the house i.e. phone,qvc,electric……….
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Why are you spending your own money?
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