I feel like I live in the land of Loony Toons. Everything seems upside down, but I don't know how serious it all is. My mother has been going more off the deep end the last 2-3 weeks. She seems normal enough except being more emotional. She cries at the drop of a hat and threw a tantrum this morning that shook the house. I can handle these things, though they aren't pleasant.
My mother's obsession with something being wrong with the floor has gotten worse. She thinks the house is on stilts and cracks between the floor boards are letting cold air in. Nothing is wrong with the floor, besides being old. She has had this obsession for over 2 years. I bought huge rugs to put down in the rooms she uses. They cover almost the entire floor and are quite thick and heavy.
A few minutes ago I went into her room and she has her whole floor covered with comforters and towels. The rug and bar floor were totally covered. I could barely walk on the floor without tripping. This is what worries me about the craziness. It is an accident waiting to happen.
We went through this before I bought the rugs. She would put towels down, I would pick them up, she would put them back down. I keep handling things like this is something normal, but my insides are saying that living has gotten to be frakking nutty. And actually I don't know what needs to be done -- ultimatums? NH? Living with it and hoping for the best? I thought about talking to my brothers, but they don't care. One would tell me that it isn't so bad, that old people do this, and the other would say do what I think best. I would much rather hear from people who have been through this type of thing about things to do.
Her new bed arrives tomorrow. She has been wanting it off and on for a while. She is in her anti-bed frame of mind today, resenting the fact that I ordered it for her when she didn't want it. I wish she had started on the Celexa a while back. I fear that she will make herself dead-set against the bed and it will become a source of her woes. She started on it tonight, saying because the bed we couldn't do house repairs that needed doing so badly. I just smiled and said, "Don't worry. Be happy." I was talking more to myself, I believe.
You say, "She is still in the moderate dementia category, with most of her memory intact," and therefore don't think she is ready for hospice. That may be perfectly true. But Coy had most of his memory intact right to the day he died. And though the autopsy revealed a very severe case of LBD, his dementia was in mostly in the moderate category to the end. Your mother may not be even close to needing hospice, but don't look to just her memory and dementia symptoms to determine that. See how the new drug works. Since you do intend to use hospice services, it is better to have an evaluation too early than to late. Just keep it in mind.
We have an appointment with my mother's doctor in a month. Maybe the Celexa will pick her up some. If not, I may talk about bringing in hospice. My mother still likes to get out some, but maybe we can just go out to eat, instead of going to the doctor. My mother was opposed to hospice for my father until the last day of his life. Hospice to her meant letting go. I don't know how she will feel about it for herself. I hope that she will welcome it.
Let us know about the bed and if she accepts it.
Jeanne, your insights from your experience with Coy are very helpful.
I had decided yesterday to do things to make her life happier until she died. I realize, of course, that it was wishful thinking. There's really no way to make her happy. She is already stressing over my brother's visit in April. She is pressing me on cooking a huge feast and inviting everyone. Today I'm hiding out in my room, trying to put a little order to the chaotic hoard that is accumulating. Clutter drives me crazy. I wish I could get a little bulldozer and go through the house, pushing everything out the doors. That would feel good. My mother is a hoarder. I was able to get everything manageable, but it is still too cluttered to clean. It drives me crazy, because I am just the opposite.
When the hospital returned her to the NH after another stroke a few months ago they deemed her "palliative". She can't sit up or stand alone and will never walk again. She weighs less than my big labrador. I can't get a prognosis from anyone and the nurses/doctors just say we have to take things one day at a time.
I backed away almost 2 weeks ago after having a TIA due to the years of stress. Since then, apart from basic chores, I've been resting and sleeping a lot and I'm starting to feel better. Almost 2 p.m. and once the dishes are done I'm going back to bed with my dogs and taking a nap.
When you find your inner child have her look back over how your mother has been all her life. Some folks just are never happy and nothing can make them happy. {{{huggs}}}