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I have a friend who was put on hospice after multiple hospital admissions. He had a slipped disk in neck causing breathing problems, and Doctors finally told his son, after patient had positional breathing problems since a truck hit him in the rear. He wondered for years why he had this problem, and doctors were evasive.


Hospice gave him drugs too frequently and he was too sleepy to eat and drink, and he died quickly at 68, 25 years after being hit by a semi.


I will tell my kids not to put me on hospice, as I am told that decision cannot be reversed, and it is a one way ticket.


Years ago family were given the meds by hospice only for when the pain got too bad, so mom hung on for 6 months or so, and yes it was on God's clock, and not ours.

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I don't have time to read all the posts here, but skimming I noticed the anti-anti-hospice discussion. First of all, I am real, caring for my mom, who has been on Hospice since last June. I have come to appreciate and like her team, and for me, the biggest benefit so far has been keeping her away from doctors offices and ERs. Advice on many varied challenges is a phone call or text away. I appreciate that the supervising physician listens to me and treats me with respect. After I was a puddle trying to follow a YouTube video on how to change depends for someone in bed, I truly appreciated the CNAs help in walking me through it in person, and also witnessing the behavior the process elicited from my mom. That was immediately turned into action and her meds reviewed.

So, I am most definitely not anti-hospice. That said, my mom has Lewy Body Dementia, which is underdiagnosed. Originally, we didn't know she had it. It was only after adverse reactions to drugs usually included in the hospice home care pack that I started to join the dots.

What I am suggesting here is that perhaps there are occasions, both in hospice or within any other medical organization, where heavy anti-psychotics have precipitated a rapid decline. That started to happen to my mom last year, together with an impacted bowel situation that I was told to administer morphine for to ease her discomfort, in addition to ativan and Haldol. I had to yell loudly, so to speak, to ask for a new approach. The system worked, and the doctor quickly helped me to find the least reactive meds for her. So mom rallied.

And I think people on Hospice with dementia are sometimes less clear cut with their disease progression. From a support group I belong to I have met many caregivers whose loved one has faded and rallied several times while on Hospice, prolonging the experience and sometimes defying the typical markers.

If anything, other LBD families I have connected with are more worried about hospitals and ERs forcing Haldol and Ativan on the person, which can lead to rapid decline or death in some. Hospice teams can be more responsive and respectful.

I suppose what I am getting at is that we are all caring for someone, and know how excruciatingly difficult that is. Bots and trolls aside, can we respect different experiences and concerns, and each learn from each other? Hospices and the people who run them are not perfect. Let's truly listen to each other in case there are issues that need to be supported, examined or better understood by all parties.
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Well that's not exactly what you were trying to do.

Edit: why are you thanking me. I was responding to the OP ladybug, my answer had nothing to do with you.
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One way ticket is a perfect description of hospice, ITRR.
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Yep, hospice is a one-way ticket, that's what it is for, helping people on their final journey.

I don't think that people that have never dealt with hospice personally can really understand what it involves. I didn't fully get it until I lived it.

My granny was unconscious because she was dying and she was obviously suffering, did hospice drug her to death? Nope, we had to request that she be given enough pain meds to stop the obvious pain she was suffering. The nurses had to get approval from the doctor every single time to give her more pain meds, that time seemed an eternity, she was suffering and they could not just give her more meds.

My sister was dying of cancer, hospice never administered one med. They provided it but, it was up to the family to dose. My sister refused certain drugs and requested others that hospice freely provided for her piece of mind.

Perhaps just being a friend means there was other, more critical information that you were not privileged too. We didn't share everything we knew with friends, it wasn't ours to share.

I believe that hospice is a blessing for many, I believe it is like everything else in life, buyer beware, do your due diligence, ask lots of questions, advocate for your loved one and fire them if they don't live up to the promises.

For anyone dead set against hospice, please give your loved ones the gift of permission to walk away if they can't handle your suffering. It is your choice to not accept comfort care at your life's end but, it is utterly selfish to expect family to be traumatized with your demise, especially if you are suffering and screaming out in pain. That's a lot to live with, so please tell them they can leave you to it and not hear your screams of agony for the rest of their lives. It is what a loving person would do.

I don't think hospice is for everyone, honor that we all get to make our own choices about our care and stop making others wrong because you don't agree or they don't agree with you.
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I found out about AgingCare much too late. I was exhausted from being a full caregiver. I called my mom’s primary care doctor to discuss the situation and she gave me the phone number of a wonderful social worker who in turn told me about AgingCare forum.

When my mother did home health she had terrific nurses. They were the first ones to tell me about Hospice. One thing that I especially remember was that she said that some people wait too long before they take advantage of hospice services. I think this is true.

There comes a point when we know that there isn’t anything else that can be done medically and it’s more important to choose hospice to receive comfort care.

We were totally satisfied with the care that we received. It puzzles me to hear of others who don’t appreciate their services.

I suppose they are struggling with their loved ones dying. I find by this time the patient has usually accepted their fate and ready to die. Sometimes, it takes family members longer to accept the fact that they are losing people that they love deeply.

The hospice nurse at my brother’s ‘end of life’ facility told my mother that she had to come to terms about her son dying. It was really hard for my mom to deal with. Eventually, she did accept it. I have never lost a child but I feel that must be the toughest loss to endure.
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I’m glad that you posted, Ladybug. Your new site can take all the unpleasant verbal diarrhea, and leave alone the OP with real problems. And verbal diarrhea is easier to ignore than the real thing.
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This was a question. The mods turned it into a discussion. Now any responses that were made are out of order. Oh well.
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Sounds like this poster’s mind is already made up about the ‘poor’ care they feel that they received from hospice.

Some people are delusional when it comes to hospice. Hospice patients are dying. They will not recover. Their illness took their life, not hospice.

I doubt if anyone could change their perspective on how wonderful hospice services truly are.

People also should know that not every hospice service is the same. Research is needed to find the best choice for the individual being cared for. If a person isn’t fully satisfied they can switch to another provider or stop altogether.

I have dealt with two different hospice organizations for my brother and mom. They were both good. Some are better than others though.
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Hospice has been nothing but a godsend for my mother.

I am thankful for them, every day.

Yes, it seems suspicious that there are so many anti-hospice posts, lately.
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I wondered about that too, Lea and kellse

Anti meds, anti hospice, etc.

I have a suspicion that this is a poster who regularly bashes the use of medication in hospice.

This poster already uses three screen names.

The writing style and messages are almost identical.

I certainly don’t want to be a martyr!
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All of a sudden there are TONS of 'hospice overmedicated my loved one' posts here. Almost as if users are creating new accounts just to post things like this.....
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Great explanation! These patients are not going to recover. They are dying.
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Absolutely an improvement!
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I agree, you are misinformed in how hospice works. First, you need to be dying, usually within 6 months. Like Funky, it could go longer. The medication was probably given to him to help with his breathing. As said, when dying the body shuts down. The body cannot handle food or drink.
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Years ago there wasn’t any hospice. In those days, people died in the hospital or at home, often in pain and with no help to the family. My friend reached over and closed her grandpa’s eyes when he passed. She was at his bedside for the event, and she was seven. There was no explanation, no grief counseling, and it upset her greatly.

Hospice is an improvement over those days.
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You need to do more research about hospice as you're information is incorrect. The decision to go under hospice care be reversed at anytime, and it can also be reinstated at anytime if the patient qualifies.
To many, hospice is a Godsend, and to some who perhaps don't fully comprehend their intent(which is to keep the patient comfortable and pain free in their final days)it is not.
My husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and I was the one who controlled all of his medications including his pain medications.
And while I was given the option in my husbands final weeks to have him transferred to the hospice home where they could give him stronger medications that would have more than likely taken him sooner than later, I opted to keep him at home where he wanted to die.
But the bottom line was, my husband was dying. PERIOD. Whether he died at home or at the hospice home a few weeks prior he still would have died, just like your friend.
I hope you will find peace in the knowledge that your friend no longer has to suffer and that he is healthy once again on the other side.
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So sorry about your friend.

Did you have a question or you just wanted to comment about hospice?

Our family was very satisfied with the hospice care that we received. I’m sorry that you had a negative experience.

Not all hospice organizations are the same. It’s good to do research to find one that is suitable for you.
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Seems odd to create a brand new account with no profile info at all, just to write THIS post????

Heres a link to a forum chat for hospice exclusively:
https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/hospice

I hired hospice for both my parents, who's diseases killed them, not the hospice drugs which eased their pain. I could have FIRED hospice at any time, which was perfectly understood when I signed up for their services. I've requested their services for myself at the end of my life as well, based on my experience with them. My husband has done the same.

My sympathies on the loss of your friend.
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A decision to be in hospice most certainly can be reversed at any time. Do your research before you make any decision that affects how you live your last days.

Also, at end of life, it’s common not to eat and drink. The body is shutting down. Chances are your friend didn’t die because of the meds they administered to make him comfortable.

My sympathies for your loss.
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