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My parents finally consented to 24/7 care, which of course costs a fortune. They have already spent $500k in the last 5 years, much of it due to bad decisions and unnecessary credit card interest because my mom refused to let my sister help with bills, etc. My sister was able to wrestle control of the accounts now has to get an emergency reverse mortgage. But ive accepted this is what they want. I found the 24/7 care and now want to rest easily and detach. But I see thats not possible. My mom tried to cancel the free VA care yesterday but they fortunately called me to make sure this was right. My mom couldnt even remember doing this 4 hours later. And now tonight's care is sick. So im calling agencies and reaching out to former caregivers. I've called aps 4-5 times. They recently told my sister they were "closing the case" even after there was proof of abuse and neglect. My mom passes all cognitive tests somehow. Their caregivers often call me to vent and complain. Am I ever really going to get out of this unless I just say "oh well" the next time someone cant make it to their house and just let them fail? I feel lije an a** but this has been going on for 15 years. I

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Home care 24/7 is often not sustainable, and now you know why. This is only the tip of the iceberg! Caregivers quit, cause problems, have complaints, etc. etc. And family is still responsible for so much.

Time to consider facility care where most responsibilities are assumed by them. If that doesn’t sound good to you, it soon will. Good luck!
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Hiring an agency instead of individual caregivers will make this easier because the agency will do the scheduling, including substitutes when someone is sick. It may not be 100% but probably better. It will also probably cost more since the agency has overhead expenses. The other alternatives are to move them into assisted living or memory care, or, as suggested below, back off and let them fend for themselves.

I'm sorry this is so frustrating.
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Yes, shrug your shoulders and say, "Oh well!" Then hand up and go have a cup of tea or coffee. It's been going on for 15 years because you've not been doing this. This is called a boundary.

Keep reporting them to APS and let them become their problem. If you are their PoA, you should resign it.
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