Just running through the posts and getting the feeling that people are so very on edge during the holidays--this year especially as the dynamic of trying to be with family/friends is just not workable!
I'm seeing more and more deep frustration at aging family members who are really struggling with aging and covid and what they may perceive as abandonment b/c family cannot be there as much as they'd want.
My own mom lives with my YB and his family who ALL HAD COVID! Mother did not get it. Poor health and age 90+ and she was fine. And mad. She actually TRIED to get it, as she is ready to GO, already.
Being locked down with family, as much as you might love them, has proven to be such a stressful thing. My own psychiatrist called me out of the blue one day to make sure I was doing OK. His words were "I am not losing another patient this year to this stupid pandemic". Didn't take much thought to realize he's had to deal with more than a few suicides and hospital admissions due to the anxiety that does not end.
We are trying to navigate Christmas Day with 3 families, one of which never got covid, despite very poor isolation. We are getting together on Christmas, but DH and I have to stay away from 5 of the 'group' and we will leave early, b/c masking up gives us both raging headaches.
At least we DO get together! I spent the evening last night with a friend who has 5 kids and not one of them will come to see their folks on Christmas. 3 of them won't let them in their homes. Yes, these folks are 73 & 74, but in the best health of anyone I know. My friend is really hurt and sad.
I am hoping that we can find joy in the season, whatever it takes. I read so many posts that smack of total caregiver burnout and I KNOW if we were able to have 'normal life' it wouldn't be near so hard. Had we known a year ago that we'd be shut down for 42 weeks---could we have handled it differently?
Personally, being so grateful we have immune grandkids--makes me so happy. Both DH and I are high risk, so I know I am a third wave-vaccine recipient, as is DH. BUT, that won't be until end of January, or later.
The holidays bring out the worst in me anyway, my anxiety ramps up to an 11.
This too will pass. I just hope we've learned something good from it all. If it's just to not be so selfish and self-absorbed, that'd be good.
I wish all my friends on this board a Happy Holidays and a much needed calmer 2021. You've all been a godsend for me, as I vent away and read your posts and think "we're all struggling, it's not just me".
((BIG Cyber hugs!))
My horrid headache was a migraine and so that was dealt with. DH is planning to leave town on Sunday and my kids are losing their Sh1t, collectively. But WHO do they yell at ?
Like I can make my DH do ANYTHING. They think I have some say in what he does--they have not been paying attention for the last 40+ years.
I am not supportive nor non-supportive of this 'last trip'. He's refusing to go to a jobsite in Canada, and for that, I am glad, They are really tight on business people--he couldn't even have had a car--he'd be escorted everywhere for the 2 weeks he'd be there...that alone offends his lone wolf mentality.
We have 2 Drs. in the family, and they are IN LAWS so they don't weigh in on stuff unless specifically asked. And we already KNOW what they're going to say.
Dh is going to talk to our SIL about the trip ( the kids don't know he's been traveling for several months now) but in the end, he's going to go.
I honestly NEED him to go away for awhile. This WFH is for the birds. And we have months more of it ahead.
New Year is first celebrated on the small Pacific island nations of Tonga, Samoa, and Kiribati. New Zealand follows next in celebrating the New Year, followed by Australia, Japan, and South Korea, while the last place to celebrate New Year is Bakers Island.
Happy New Year already to some posters on Aging Care 2021.!
Might wave around a pretzel in my living room. Whoopsie doo (not Woo hoo, definately not Wu).
Let's not leave out the deniers...
As for being on lockdown myself, except for the mask and having to try to keep distance, I've been on this for over 2 years even before the virus (financial issues, no money to do much of anything, not even get work done that needs to be done to this house - needed lots of renovations, not cosmetic stuff, necessary stuff!) So, just when the money issues were ending and I could move forward, BAM! This virus hits and locks everything down. Yay.
So for all those little pansies out there who can't get their hair and/or nails done, get to the gym, go out boozin', wah wah wah wah wah. Get your hair done, so who can see you? Best looking corpse contest? For the deniers, riiiight... Congress just lost a newly elected member of the house, before he could be sworn in. The death count is quickly approaching 4,000/day!!! (3880 today) Our poor veterans have lost almost 6600!! Sure, it'll disappear like magic... spring, oops, no summer, ooops, no after election... Yup, it's going away.
I'm certainly sick of being stuck here. I wouldn't have been able to go far with an old-on-the-edge kitty and needing to be close to home for mom, but both were lost this year (not due to virus.) 2020 ends tomorrow, but the stink of it will be with us for some time to come.
Enjoy the few moments we can here and there and hang on tight for the ride. While holidays in the past might have been good, and sorely missed this year, ANY day can be a celebration day, we don't have to rely on the HallMark Calendar. As someone else said, it's really just another day. I've been asking my kids to lump all holidays, birthdays, special days into a day or better a week in JULY when the weather is nice and the days are longer! Week long binge!!!
MidKid, hope your tests come back negative and hope his trip doesn't bring home any "gifts."
Our KIDS are the ones losing their stuffing over this. They were blowing up the family GroupMe, telling me to isolate from their dad--how in the world is that even possible??????
Dh is supposed to get on a plane Sunday and the kids all said if he does that, they will lose total respect for him. He truly doesn't care, that's how much he loves/wants to do his job.
I'm kind of hoping I have it. I'm so dang sick of isolating and the constant new quarantining from our family. Oh well, I'll know by noon.
We don't celebrate New Year's..never have, so it will be just another night :)
Well, the good news is, he can get the rapid test (there's not a ton of them being offered--) and we'll know in 15 minutes. He is SUPER high risk and my fear of him catching this has been in the back of my mind for a year almost. He THINKS he's impervious to illness--but he's diabetic, over 65, obese, liver transplant patient, heart attack survivor--and more, but shoot, he doesn't consider ANY of these things to be a 'big deal'.
I got the decorations all down and as I slowly clear out Christmas, I feel calmer and calmer.
Hoping not to start the New Year with COVID, but last year I started it out totally bald from chemo and with shingles. Good thing I have a good sense of humor and irony.
Happy New Year (I REALLY mean that--praying 2021 leads us into some calmer waters!)
In Florida the bars are packed like sardines, especially on Sunday evenings. I guess people have nothing better to do with their time but get drunk and drive. Central Florida has an epidemic of meth users and it seems law enforcement ignores them.
Rainbow after the Rain. 🌈
Remember the Calm after a Storm.
Remember there's a Light at the End of the Tunnel.
Tomorrow will be a New Day and a New Beginning.
When a Door is closed look for a Window.
Give your troubles to God, He is Bigger then any and all your problems.
The actual day was just lovely. I had NO expectations and therefore, was just enjoyably surprised at how much fun we had.
The grands were adorably happy with their gifts. Our kids gave us matching PJS that don't fit :) and made a huge donation in our names to the local Boys & Girls Club, which is what we WANT.
We have 2-1/2 yo grandson with whom we celebrated our first Christmas. He was just squealing with joy over EVERY gift opened, for him or not.
My sweet SIL offered the most beautiful prayer before we ate. I, of course, was crying and hugged him afterwards and thanked him for bringing his family back home for GOOD.
We weren't ALL together, but it was good enough. I think I am learning, slowly, to not have incredible expectations for any holiday.
I did wake up at 5:30---and prayed for the MANY friends who had lost loved ones this year. The first Christmas alone is so hard.
I will be (hopefully) getting the vaccine this next month--quite a few people I know have received it. So far, so good. I personally think (aided by Dr. SIL's inside info) that we will have general vaccines available sooner rather than later. He said to ignore the news, they don't know much--and ask people in the healthcare industry.
I'm with Beatty---every year, letting go of more old, unnecessary 'traditions'.
I wish you all a safe and happier 2021.
Each year I let go a few more traditions, functions & expectations. Keeping those I like or see value in + adding new ones. So there is hope it may come to be something I could enjoy in the future..
I feel so blessed to have my health, that my family is well, that those who aren't are same as they were.
Peace to all of you
My husband’s cancer check is next month and if it has returned I will lose it. These endless lockdowns going into a second year, ugh. I see hundreds of millions vaccines being delivered to the states, but no timeline on when I might be able to get it since they are only providing phases without dates. I am in the last phase and just saw someone on the news say it “might” be September. So nine more months.
When I feel really desperate I start thinking it is a sinister plan to withhold the vaccine from the larger population in order to keep the lockdowns in place.
I have a small tree with lights, but I didn't decorate it. There doesn't seem to be any point.
Tomorrow I'm having lunch via Skype with my daughter and son, so that will help.
Blankets on the windows, lights out, scurrying to shelters when air raids alarmed...it's hard for me to even conceive of how unsettling, traumatic and terrifying that must have been.
Or the men and women in the service, putting their lives at risk, sometimes losing them, or portions of their anatomy. Or surviving and suffering from what is now known as PTSD or PTSS.
I'm not trying to be negative, or distasteful, but I think that being in a country where our homes and shelters are destroyed, never knowing when Hitler's thugs would be airborne over my country, worrying about family members in service in country...that's a lot worse than the precautions we have to take.
What really annoys me are those people who still refuse to comply, who won't adhere to social distancing, and get irritated b/c they don't get their own way.
I can understand though how frustrating it is to be separated from family, especially in the Mormon community. From my observations, there's always been a lot of close interaction, not only w/I families but with other community members.
I used to walk every day and cook healthy food, and enjoy making it. The past six months I stopped doing everything. Just let self care go. I still cook because I have to but I'm not into it anymore. I don't call anyone. It's classic depression, but this year has been worse. I don't want to lean on anyone because I know they are struggling too. So this hard time also feels very lonely. I also lost a very good friend to covid about a month ago, and I am still grieving that loss.
Anyway, I'm going to resume walking as soon as the holidays are over even if I have to drag myself out there.
I want to thank this board for the comfort I get here. I never could have imagined that I could get that from strangers on the internet, but I do here. Thank you to all those that take the time to share their stories and offer support and advice. I really do appreciate you all very much.
I hope everyone has the best holiday possible, and that 2021 will be better for all of us.
I’m thinking Christmas can also bring out the best in us if we can beat the anxiety back.
I have given DH aunt’s aide a few days off so my day will start ready or not in a few hours. Much the same as all caregivers across the globe, regardless of occasion.
DH and I are spending our first Christmas without seeing our youngest and his only daughter. She’s moved during the summer and with Covid our plans to visit fell through. We won’t see our other children or our grands either. Each person is tucked into their respective lives, trying to ride out this age of sickness and discord.
It is sad to know that many won’t survive the season and others will pass over the coming weeks from having chosen to ignore grim warnings or more sadly because they were among the brave medical staff or other essential workers. I feel selfish to have placed any extra burden on them as I ventured out a few times myself.
DH lost a 54 yr old nephew in October. He had three little granddaughters that will grow up without their poppy. So many similar stories across the world. So DH spent a few hours and assembled a gingerbread house for the little girls as he imagined their poppy might have done. A small token of his love for them all. He will deliver it and other home baked gifts he’s made to the doorsteps of those who are nearby. I’ll finish wrapping gifts and tend to DH aunt. We will have a quiet but enjoyable day complete with a Christmas Eve feast and consciously seek peace and comfort in the presence of one another. In short we will love the ones we are with.
I will think of all the Aging Care participates, posters and respondents and wish you all a moment to remember brighter times and to glean some Comfort from the Joy that is Christmas.
i will try to be a kinder person and to remember that our response to life comes from fear or love. I choose love. I will have to remind myself often but I choose love and that’s really the best I have to give.
I'm no grinch, and I did do all the things for the grands that I always do, but did not gift my adult kids....they have more money than God and don't need some silly thing from me I will find re-gifted next year. They each got a big box of really quality chocolates and that's more than fine.
I will take down all the decorations the day after Christmas as I always do and go back to being 'normal'.
I look forward to getting the vaccine as soon as possible. Then traveling to see 2 kids I haven't seen all year. I'm just hanging on by a thread, honestly, anxiety wise and I am SO grateful we are seeing progress.
So sorry for you in the UK--just can't catch a break!!
Singles like myself can have 1-2 other people that they can socialize. I admit to stretching that to 3 people, my son, my Mum and a good friend. All are single.
I am content to not have my big Christmas Eve Dinner with 12-16 people over for fondue and the same number for brunch the next day. There will be 3 of us for each meal.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.