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My mom is 88 with dementia, substantial hearing loss. She can't operate her tv by herself, she can't hear well enough and has to use the closed captions but can't keep up with those much so tv is pretty much not an option. Reading isn't either as her dementia has robbed her of the in-the-moment comprehension. She doesn't do much, she's miserable. she can't live with me at home, she'd need a caregiver as I work and the cost is more than an assisted living facility (whre she is now). Plus she is unable to occupy herself, so if she DID live at home, I would be her 24/7 source of EVERYTHING. Entertainment, support, etc. I can't put my family through that, she lived with us for a year a while back. Any suggestions on things to do that can distract her from how miserable she is? Her dementia has progressed to where she thinks people are coming into her room, want to kill her cat, etc., and even though they aren't real situations, to HER they are and she is miserable. As am I...

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I am going to get her to the audiologist, and I do have a request in for the doctor there to see her and possibly prescribe an anti-depressant. And no she is not in the memory care side yet, she is still on the assisted living side. She doesn't participate in activities because of her hearing loss. She basically spends her day in her room moving things around, talking to herself and her cat and crying about wanting to go home.
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Since she's in an assisted living facility, she should have choices to do things with others, but her hearing may be making her less willing to try. I'd make sure that nothing more can be done for her hearing. Sometimes even a hearing aid adjustment can help.
Next, her doctor needs to know about her increasing paranoia. This is common with dementia. It's possible the physician can try a medication to see if that helps. Also - is your mom in a memory unit of the assisted living? If not, that would be more appropriate as the staff there is trained to take care of people like her. Please don't feel guilty that she's not home with you. You are doing the right thing. She likely won't be happy wherever she is. You can't change that, so don't accept the guilt. Do what you can by helping others help her. Take care of yourself, too,
Carol
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