My 81 yr old mother is still residing at her home with my 88 yr old father. My father has Demetia and Parkinson's disease and my mother chooses to remain at home without any assistance from anyone but me. I help the best I can, however, I work over 60 hrs a week. My father is consistently falling due to his Parkinson's. Moreover, his Demetia seems to be worstening and fears the company of guests, including family. What can I do to help my mother more effectively. I feel like my mom is going through depression while dealing with her heart problems.

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This sounds like my parents and my dad has Parkinson's with dementia. They always called me,too. I tried to get my mom to hire help but she refused. She expected me to do it all and I do work and have a life myself. Being divorced my mom must think I have nothing to do anymore but help them. My dad ended up in a nursing home and after a few months of the downward spiral I took him home with me. Yes, I am a codependent and tired of it. My mom is a narcissist as far as I'm concerned cause she doesn't like taking care of "sick people".

Would your mom be open to hiring some respite care? I'm just starting down this path to help my Dad, who is primary caregiver for my Mom, who has some form of dementia. I know that finding the right person/people can be tricky, but we can't keep on with the status quo. If money is an issue, are there extended family members or faith communities who could be tapped into for respite care? I know you're probably concerned about your father's reaction to such caregivers (that's a big part of my foot-dragging on this), but Mom's getting more and more agitated anyway, so at least we need to find a way to get Dad a break (if he'll take it, and I'm trying to convince him that it does Mom no good for him to be in bad shape, which is entirely true....hey, play to those codependent characteristics many of us have). Best of luck.

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