I need help finding a professional to evaluate my 75 year old mom’s living situation- including health, cognitive, etc. - and to then help us figure out what are the best living options within her reach financially. It’s my understanding elder care managers/consultants provide that kind of evaluation and counseling to families.

I also need advice on what’s a reasonable fee for an elder care manager, preferably in my mom’s area.

My mom lives in western Connecticut near Danbury, so I’m looking for a professional in that general area. Ideally, this person would be able to help her find a place with a health or assisted living component (i.e. a Continuing Care Retirement Community or something similar) if such a place is affordable for her. Or, if a professional determined my mother wouldn’t meet the financial and/or medical acceptance criteria for that kind of community, we would need help understanding what an “aging in place” scenario would look like. In any case, we’re seeking a professional to help us plan and navigate through the private and public services.

My mom lives alone independently in a standard over 55 condo community with no assisted living or continuing care component. Although her vitals are o.k., she already has difficulties with mobility from foot issues and advanced arthritis.
I live 2 hours away in the NYC metro area and I have very little flexibility with work schedule and transportation. My mom has a few friends in her community, but we don’t have other family to help with care or planning. I believe she’d be much better off in a living situation offering some kind of support. I think she does too, except neither of us can handle planning such a move on our own. Also she has limited financial resources and we have no idea what kind of places she’d be able to afford. We’re both overwhelmed by the task of evaluating her options and planning such a move.


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You can also locate AL and ALZ/Dementia care facilities in her area or yours (visit their websites) and have them send you info on their basic resident care and fee structure. These vary considerably. This is always good start. Then visit some and get first impression; talk with their Directors, etc. BEFORE you take your mom for a visit. Also, if she's spouse of a vet; depending on income/assets that might be additional revenue for you to work with in determining financial ability to pay.

If they can stay in their home with minimal care for now; might be a good start to start hiring part time care for a few hrs a week and then ramping up as needed --if she is open to that and receptive to the caregivers. Keep in mind however, full time skilled care as her needs progress can be upwards of $200/day not including meals, home maintenence (general home upkeep); etc. which can make AL or ALZ facility competitive.

Good luck. I'm in the middle of this crisis right at this minute. My mom was never receptive to outside help. Make sure you are having the conversations right now with your mom and you have POA for medical and financial plus Advanced Medical Directive in place and she gives you signed notarized copies while she is still competent to do so. Trust is extremely important and with dementia or Alz that trust can erode very fast with the paranoia that comes along with aging and deteriorating health.

Possibly where she is now might have the information you need, since they deal with the other 55. You could always check with her doctor or contact the senior services agency in her area for guidance.

Good luck!

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