Have you ever thought about what age that you would like to die?

HotHouse,

I know what you mean. My
mom definitely didn’t want to live to be 95. When people would say to her that she would live to be 100 years old she would say, “I hope not! I lived too long. I don’t want to live to be 100.”

She missed my dad terribly and was really struggling with the end stages of Parkinson’s disease. I was relieved when she died because she was finally free from any discomfort.

I was glad that my parents and my brother were at peace with death when the end was near.

Maybe not think about when I would like to die, but I have speculated on when I would die. Barring anything unforeseen happening, I can see myself living another 50 to 60 years and die sometime in my 80s, if not early 90s.

Unlike with my mom, I won't be paranoid and resistant when it comes to bringing in extra help once I reach the point where I can't do things on my own anymore.

I think anything above 80 is borrowed time. At that point (if caring for my parents doesn’t kill me first) I plan to have as much fun as I can and will not go to the doctor anymore unless it is for a uti. I will enjoy my time and let nature take its course. I will end my life when I decide there is no joy left in living.

There is no way I want to live past my 80s and I certainly don’t want to live to 95 like my parents are. They have outlived their bodies, have outlived their money, and just spend their days sleeping and if they are awake, bitterly complaining. If it was not for the so called miracles of modern medicine they wouldn’t be around at 95. This caregiving experience has profoundly changed how I will navigate my old age.

So I think our answers show that the age isn't important at all.
What's important is our independence, our ability to live as we choose, our minds, our limitations in terms of pain and so on.
Age is just a number. What's important is our ability to have a QUALITY of life we can live with. Not a quantity.

Tanya,

My cousin went skydiving for her 50th birthday! She loved it!

Dolly,

Sounds like you are in good health!

I will start skydiving at age 75

Personally, I am too busy living to think about dying. My mother is 98 and teaches sit down aerobics class at her AL, exercise has always been her thing.

Me? Not so much, I am more cerebral. Most likely she will be still alive when I hit the bricks!

Fortunately, I am very healthy, so far, only take pills for Acid Reflux, not bad for a 76 yo!

I take each day as it comes, every day I wake up thinking "What can I do to make this day special?" And, off I go!

For me, a positive attitude is what keeps me going, I always look at what is right, not wrong!

Onward!

I want the age God has planned for me. It is amazing that some people have zest for life even when we think their lives have no quality. We can not judge what some one else's quality is…

I would like to live to be at least 85. My mom dies at 81 and my father at 93. He started to go downhill at 85 and really the last two years of his life were a total waste. I don't want to live long enough that I am a nuisance to others.

Bysrose,

That’s my dream, to die in my sleep. I am sorry that you are living in such pain. My husband has had rotator cuff surgery on both of his shoulders.

He doesn’t even know how he injured his shoulders. I told him that it was from holding our daughters on his shoulders year after year at Jazz Fest and Mardi Gras! 😝

As the years go by, life does seem to wear us down and we definitely see and feel changes in our bodies!

Great answers! I can relate to something in each of these responses.

Daughter,

One of my friends said to me awhile ago, “Don’t you wish that your kids were young again?”

LOL 😆, my answer was, “Hell no! I’m too old to raise young kids now. I would have to go back in time too, then I would love it!”

I know what you mean though. We were so busy with our lives that we didn’t get to enjoy things as much as we would have liked.

I think about grandparents who have raised kids and grandchildren. My heart goes out to them.

I would love to have grandchildren but not full time! My friends that have grandchildren tell me that they adore them but are happy to be able to give them back to their parents!

Having them full time and dealing with all of the responsibilities that goes along with it would take the fun out of being a grandparent.

I am 85! Have a shoulder that is causing horrible pain, two floppy heart valves, a bladder that has fallen, almost out, from giving birth to three 9 pounds babies, my mind is still sharp, live alone, also have wet macular in both eyes as well as glaucoma so the question about how long do I want to live is constantly on my mind. The surgeons don’t want to fix any of my problems as they tell me I am too old and too frail . I guess the question is, how long can I stand the pain I am in. I don’t want to be a burden but also don’t want to go to assisted living or nursing home. I had rather just die, in my sleep, in my home. I am sure most would choose that if we could.
I also would do many things differently if I could relive my life. I was too busy, would take more time to enjoy my children. I suspect most of us have regrets.

"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened."

Sure. Now would be fine. I am 81.

I am still relatively healthy and am active and independent. I would like to beat the long slow slide down by exiting before it happens.

Like many, I feel it isn't the quantity, but the quality of life. I have had a good and so far very lucky life. I have done everything I would have liked to do. I am good with going. Everytime I suggest such a thing to my MD I get, "Are you depressed". No. Far from t. I am just ready.

There are many parts of raising my children that I’d love to go back and do again. I’d hope to be less stressed and simply enjoy it more than I did the first time. I now understand that so many little things just don’t matter and how quickly the time with them passes. As for aging, my mother fell apart at a relatively young age, and in honesty, some of that I do blame on her. She refused all exercise and healthy diet choices. She had years of high blood pressure and her reaction to health issues like arthritis was to sit and wallow in it. I loved her dearly, still miss her, but wonder if it could have been different if she’d tried harder. My dad lived a busy, active life and bounced back well from health issues until the slow, insidious CHF took the reins. He’d say he was here too long, passing at 90. I guess the answer is to die before life becomes unbearable with health or loss of function issues. Hubby’s grandfather got up one night to use the bathroom, fell down, and died on the spot. We’ve come to think of that as an excellent way to go

If I could have my 20-yr old body with my 64-year old patience and wisdom, I'd be content.

I know I don't want to live on with many permanent ailments especially after witnessing them with parents and grandparents. I don't want to burden my children. I don't want to lose my mind.

I have some serious longevity with parent and grandparents but none of them had quality of life for some years towards the end. I do keep myself in much better shape through exercise and weight control.

Its a hard question to answer. I already have issues that can only be solved with surgery. I am planning some but holding off on others as the down time is extensive and I don't want to become terribly depressed just recuperating for a long time. I have talked to people who have undergone this. One of them is shoulder surgery. I can still manage without it. I will have foot surgery in January. I have already done that on one foot so I know what to expect.

I do dread outliving my husband. He is 6 years older than me and also has non threatening health issues yet they are concerning.

Sometimes I can’t believe that I am in my late 60’s!

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up! Time seemed to move slowly then. Time seems to move so much faster as we age.

Does anyone else feel like this?

I think that I am like most people. If I could push a reset button I would change several things in my past. Other things I would want to be exactly as they were.