Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
1 2 3 4
Congratulations, Funnier! Enjoy every second of your freedom!!!

Boy do I understand! That feeling of bliss having a life again and knowing how good you can feel is nothing short of a miracle!! It lets you know there is light at the end of the dark tunnel you live in and that.........someday, if you are still alive and in your right mind...........this L will all be over and life will be good once again. I can't wait! As terrible as that sounds, you do get so burned out, no matter how deeply you love your loved ones.

Enjoy your free moments to the max!!! Sing, dance and love the joyous breaths of fresh air you get to breathe. Doesn’t it feel good to have the house smell fresh and clean too? There is something depressing about that “old people” smell. No matter how diligent we are, it is always present and my home just never feels fresh. And I Lysol everything, including the walls and floors. Maybe your husband will even enjoy the change and having the new/old you back that has been missing he too will find a wonderful peace without his mother there; realizing life is much better for everyone. His mother is getting the care she needs and so are you.

If she is vomiting, having black stools, it doesn't sound good. Does she take Aricept? That is terrible on the system and could be the source of her current issues. I had the same problems with my mother and once we took her off that, the bleeding stopped. Nasty drug,

If it isn’t from medications, it certainly sounds like she doesn’t have much time left. Plus, if they don’t find the source or it can’t be controlled, I doubt she will make it home. If she does, definitely, definitely, contact Hospice. They are fabulous and life may still suck, but it will be much easier with their help. It truly is a wonderful organization. You will need professional help to deal with her current conditions. I pray they will be sending her to a care facility for everyone concerned, but if not, then Hospice will give her the care she needs and you some respite, as well as, pay for all the medications and equipment.

We are all praying for you and it makes my heart sing to see the happiness and joy in your words. I even feel lighter. Keep us posted about all the fun you are having during your 21 days of bliss! We will be vicariously partying with you!!
(1)
Report

MANYBLESSINGS, she was still vomiting last night when my husband went to see her. She doesn't take Aricept. I had called the nursing home to ask them if they had noticed her bowel movements being black because for 8 days here everyone of them had been. (She had been there for 5 days already) The nurse said to me "I don't think she has had one" She called out to another person about "the lady in room 420, have you noticed her bowel movements, has she had any?" I couldn't hear the answer. I asked her to please pay attention to them and explained that she had to be given blood in the hospital because she was losing blood at that time and they couldn't (or wouldn't try to) find out why.

I have an appointment with "our" doctor this morning and I will tell him all I know about her. I don't know what he does or doesn't know. All I do know is that my right leg is numb from my hip to my knee and has been since August 3 and there is a dull ache in my thigh bone and in my back. I'm a mess now and I don't know how it happened. I just know I can't take care of her and I will let him know that for sure.

Yesterday, I canned 18 quarts of tomatoes and even watched my three grand kids. Usually it's WWIII, but they played sooo good together, it was remarkable.
Later today, I'll make sweet pickle relish. This is so great. But while I'm out to the doctor, one of my grandsons is going with me and after the doctor, we're going to lunch together and then to the grocery to pick up a few things. I have to ride the bus home, so we can't get much, but we have a bunch of friends who ride at the same time we do and it's a lot of fun. It'll be a good day today. Mark that on the calendar. Two in a row.
(4)
Report

Funnier. My heart goes out to you and I want to choke your "mommy's boy" husband.
Icant believe with your health issues he wants her to come back. And I would report the caregiver and get a replacement if she complains of "burn out" box
Cause of her JOB, she needs to get in another field.
I will also pray for you and please refuse her back into your home. In a nursing home she will either die in her sleep or they will call the family in and hubby can be with her then. Hugs and prayers to you
(1)
Report

Somebody pulled a curtain down over the end of the tunnel because the light at the end of it went out.

My husband said he would never forgive himself if his Mother died in the nursing home. We talked about it this morning and I told him I understood his position but I needed more time without her. I know Medicare stops paying for the nursing home after 28 days, but that doesn't end until 8-30-12. I asked him to give me until at least 8-20-12 without her because I could not take care of his mother in critical condition and also watch three grandchildren at the same time. School starts on the 20th and the kids will all be in school. He can bring her home on that day. We agreed on that and he said he wouldn't tell her yet. We went to visit her after that and she had again thrown up all over the place. They had changed her, the bed, and mopped the floor. I don't know how she is still alive. She had been vomiting every day for at least a month, if not longer. While we were there, he saw how depressed she was and whispered to me, he just had to tell her the good news and he did.

Nancy will come back to help me out, but she will work only half a day. She had radiation treatments every day for 12 or 16 weeks. I'm not sure which she said.
Maybe I can tolerate her for half days. I will ask the home health agency's nurse to evaluate MIL really closely and if Hospice is needed, she can get Hospice started coming here for her. I don't know how I will feel about someone dying in my home.
(1)
Report

Nancy's radiation treatments begin next week. I know nothing about radiation therapy, so I don't know how to react to her when she gets here after a treatment. Should I be caring for her, too?
(0)
Report

funnierthanme: Nancy may be very ill and unable to help. You do not need to be taking care of her, too. Offer sympathy, of course, but I think it would be kind to send her home. As for MIL, I read somewhere on this site, I think, but maybe not, that 30% of caregivers die before those they are caring for. NOT acceptable. Hospice, hospice, hospice!
(1)
Report

You can get Hospice to come to the house. Get a letter, or they will tell you what you need, from her doctor certifying that she needs hospice care. Please for your sake, look into it.
(1)
Report

Yes. Hospice. And lay some rules down about how your husband can help when he gets home from work. He needs to participate.

xo
-SS
(1)
Report

it's for your husband's benefit to help when he gets home from work, even just cleaning the house. After his mother is gone, he will be glad he did it and won't have any guilt about not having done enough for his Mom, not to mention you.
(2)
Report

I love all your comments about getting my husband to help with MIL or at least around the house. It took me ironing my left hand during a seizure that got him to help washing dishes and that happened in our 47th year together. I called that a milestone. If that's all the household work that I ever get help with, that is a miracle in itself. But, he will wear most of his pants twice before I have to wash them and uses a bath towel (the big bath sheet) twice--one end once, the other end next to save me wash because with his mother, I have lots of extra wash. I really appreciate those things. He does run to her to put an extra blanket on her if she says she is cold, or take one off is she is hot. That saves me a step or two, and I really appreciate it. But the constant getting out of bed during the night to go to the potty tears me up. I'm so sick of the potty.

He says he wakes up when I get out of bed to go to her and he's awake until I get back into bed. Maybe he is, maybe not. I can't tell. I just know that he is also tired like me and we both have eyes that burn all the time. I don't know what kind of help he could give to me besides wash the dinner dishes. I have the housework done before he gets home. He doesn't care if the house isn't spotless. Neither do I. I used to. I just don't care anymore. Maybe I will again when she is gone.

I have 6 more days without her. He said she kept her breakfast down this morning. That's the first in over a month. I don't know about lunch and dinner yet.
I had a wonderful day with all three of my littlest grandkids today. We spent it outside and laughed all day. I'm counting on 6 more great days.
(2)
Report

Hope they are happy ones.
(0)
Report

Sorry your respite is being cut short, but in the end, you will be glad you honored your husband and his wishes. Maybe he will even do a little more for you and take the evening shift with his mother so you can get a some rest before the night shift. Ummmm, if he is awake, why doesn’t he take a time or two with her during the night so you can get a little rest?

As I said before Hospice!!! They are wonderful and I highly doubt Nancy will be much help with her problems and health issues. Hospice is a Godsend in so many ways. Talk to the hospital/nursing home social worker and find out what services are available in your community. If they are not helpful, call senior services in your area.

I am curious, however. Where in the world are the doctors? What are they saying about your MIL and her vomiting, black stools and what the heck are they doing for her? I can’t imagine there is no definitive diagnosis as to her condition, the cause of her vomiting, etc. You should have some idea what is going on and her prognosis. I can’t imagine they are ignoring something as serious as black stools and vomiting all the time. If they are, you need to rattle some cages and find out what the heck is happening or get a new medical team. That is insane not to know the cause of her issues. Maybe I missed something, but I don’t recall your mentioning any diagnosis.

I remember the days of two hours sleep a night, watching, and listening to a monitor 24 hours a day. I can’t seem to break the habit and since losing my mother almost 2 years ago, I still only sleep a few hours a night. Care giving does take a toll on your health too. Since this all began, I have been diagnosed with Grave’s disease, fibromyalgia, sleep apnea and insomnia. It is all related to the stress, I am sure. We are now caring for my FIL and it is growing more and more stressful. Having been through two other parents, we know the routine and I am wondering in what form the next illness will manifest. I am praying when this all ends, I will regain my health and my life. I pray you will too.

Please let us know the official diagnosis with your MIL. It will give you some light at the end of the tunnel and, hopefully, it won’t be the trains’ headlight this time. Bask in the beauty of the next few days, talk to the social workers and hospice personnel before she comes home and get some help for yourself. You are worth it and deserve it. If her finances are gone, then Medicare/Medicaid will kick in and cover expenses. Your health has to come first. Remember, she has had a long life, done what she wanted and it isn’t fair for you to lose the best years of yours. You must protect yourself so you don’t die before she does. You have grandchildren to love, enjoy and you deserve to be there for them!!

Sorry for offering 2cents worth of advice, but I am concerned for you and pray you get some qualified help so you can have a little relief.

Please keep us updated and get the help you so richly deserve.

Hugs and hope!!
(2)
Report

I know what you mean about the Yeahs and Breaths. My MIL continually mumbles under her breath about how awful her life is, how hard it is for her to do anything, how no one understands, how she can't do whatever it is she's doing, etc. and constantly grunts. She says shes humming - NO, shes grunting! If you offer to help her (Hey, shes the one complaining!), she yells at you for treating her like a child (really?!). My Hubs is her only child and he has a hard time dealing with her 1 on 1, so he limits his contact with her.
Its good you are having this reprieve, enjoy it, and take the time to take care of yourself. Nancy can't come back, (thank the heavens), so look into another aide, Hospice, or see if your MIL can be evaluated while she is in the NH. Maybe someone will help your Hubs understand that she needs constant care that can't easily be given at home.
Take time to mentally vent. Picture yourself, no MIL no Hubs, in your perfect home, beachside retreat, mountain cabin, penthouse suite, prairie house, farm house, dreamy masterbath, backyard dream oasis, etc. Look through magazines, sales fliers, online, wherever, and pick out the furniture or the fixtures, the wallpaper/paint, the rug color, the curtains, the accessories, the location, whatever YOUR heart desires. You can always let Hubs in later if you really want him there! Lol Mental venting can take any form.
(((HUGS))) to you and hope you take care of yourself.
(2)
Report

my grandmother thru up everyday when she was blocked. if nursing home is no staying on top of her bowel movements that is pretty scary. its their job
(2)
Report

Karoisme: Love your mental venting idea advice. I think I have done that all my life, but, lol, never had a name for it -- mental venting! Thanks!
(1)
Report

I have been really puzzled about her lack of a diagnosis myself. I have asked for one and been evaded every time. "We don't know yet" has been the stock answer, but no tests have been run. She will be 93 in a couple of months. Her ejection fraction is about 15-20% (or less now-it hasn't been tested in over 18 months) so she can't take much, but her BP is always good. Go figure that. I honestly believe they don't want to find out what is wrong because they will have to treat it or they will have to repair it. My husband said he wants her home and he will simply make her as comfortable as he can for as little or as long a period of time that she has left. With her throwing up three to four times a day, how comfortable can that be? We have Phenergan pills we can give her here at home and they help. I don't know why they haven't given them to her at the nursing home. If they have, they didn't say so.

As for my husband helping her to the potty, that's a no-no. "Let her have some dignity left in her life, for God's sake, will you", said husband. And, MIL says, "Oh, no. I'd never let my son see me like that. Just you or Nancy".

She has conjestive heart failure, cardiomyopathy, diabetes, HBP, high cholesterol, acid reflux and a whole lot of other little annoying stuff. But, she can still read fine print without glasses. Whatever else is going on inside of her, I just don't know.

I spoke to the RN from the home health agency yesterday morning and she was going to call the doctor's office and talk to them and get back to me. She hasn't called me back yet and it's been almost 24 hours now. I know it takes certification from a doctor to get Hospice started so it all depends on her doctor now. But with her BP so great, they may not accept her. She was on death's doorstep two years ago and they wouldn't accept her.

Oh, I never said, but Nancy used to work for Hospice. I don't know what she did; but, she seems to have a good bedside manner with MIL. Maybe that's because she's her niece. She and I just don't click at all!

If I hear back from the home health agency's RN, I'll put her reply up.
(2)
Report

It's really aggravating but sometimes we have to get up in a Doctors face and demand to know what is being done or not done and why. And then jump their case and make lots of noise until you get results. I never even bother with the nurses. You can demand to have the doctor call you to explain what's going on. Sorry for being so direct but I'm on my 3rd parent that I've been a caregiver to and I have learned that if we don't do something the results we get are nothing.
If you need a break at night and need sleep then hire a woman to come in now and then to help you all through the night and give the bill to the husband (call it a dignity bill) And if you need a break when the husband comes in at night from work take the keys and say see ya later, it's your shift, and get away, let him take care of dinner and everything else that is needed and don't feel guilty about it. You are taking care of the MIL all during the day and night and if that isn't enough and appreciated by your Husband and his Mother then why allow then to expect more of you. You have to do what you need to take care of yourself because if you don't no one else will. As far as dignity goes, it might be good for your husband to be forced to see that you have yours as well and he and his mother have chosen to live together then they will have to learn to deal with it. why should you have to suffer your own health and well being because they don't want to take responsibility for the situation. I have learned from experience that others won't respect me until I respect myself and tell them NO and mean it. Please know that these are only my suggestions, I would never tell you what to do. I took care of both of my Husbands parents until they died so I know it's not easy. I wish you well. And regardless of how you choose to deal with it.. VENT and vent more, it will help you get through it.
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
(1)
Report

This place is a good place to vent. No one here will judge you, even for the most "horrible" things you might want to rant about. We are you. We vent. We have to in order to keep going, especially on THOSE days. I am having one of those days today. I won't vent right now because you need to and I have some really foul things to say about the government and a sibling and the friends who drifted away. So, I do what I need to do, like play stupid computer games and watch crappy TV shows to distract myself from the situation. No advice from me...I am in your shoes, maybe a different size. At least my spouse finally gets it and lets me vent to him. The kids? Not yet, but they'll come around. Oh, yeah, breaking china is an awesome vent--bummer to clean it up before I step on it. And, my cats always listen and purr good things. All the best, my new friend.
(3)
Report

I really, really want to say some bad, dirty words and scream and stomp my feet and shake my head "NO, NO, NO!" but it wouldn't stop what is going to happen on Monday. He told the nursing home he is bringing her home Monday even without the doctor's authorization. They told him they could work around that. He told me last night she looked and felt better than she has in years. How can someone who was nearly dead last week be that good now??

I refuse to tell her welcome home. In fact, I may not even say "Hello" to her. I will tell the EMT's her room is the last door on the right down the hall and make myself scarce.

I tried to count on my first finger the number of friends I still have since she came to live here. I couldn't find one to count. Maybe after she finally dies for sure, if I'm not already dead myself, maybe I can make some new ones.

I have my cats, too, and they purr even if they're sick. God bless em' . And my goats, that talk to me and keep me from thinking about anything else but them, are a Godsend. But I still want to scream and curse and cry because I wonder what evil thing I did in my past caused this to be happening to me now. I thought when she went to the nursing home I would finally have my life back, but it was all only a tease. I've been having such a good time with my grand kids the last three days it was too easy to forget time was getting short. When the last one left today, I realized time was almost up and it was like somebody hit me in the stomach with their fist. I was counting on being able to go to see soccer games. I can't now. I hate that. A year ago I asked Nancy to come late and stay late so her hours woulldn't be compromised and I could go to one of my grandson's baseball games. She did that for me but even though she didn't say the words, I knew not to ask her again.

I'm afraid MIL will have to get used to someone new putting her on the potty, though, because I intend to find a sitter for her for at least a game or two of his soccer games this year. I missed every soccer game the last three years and it really bothered my grandson a lot. I won't let him down like that again.
(1)
Report

My husband said last night he talked to the Nursing Home's administrator about rehab for his mom and they said it can be provided long-term and Medicare will pay for it with no cap on the length. He says his Mom can be rehabilitated enough to walk with a walker as long as someone walks with a hand on her back. Now he wants to involve me even more in her care. All I can say to this is Nancy can do the follow-up therapy during the day. She can be the one to walk with her hand on this woman's back if it comes to that, and walk her to the bathroom and living room and dining room and out on the deck. I will not do that. I do not believe she will ever get enough strength to do it. But, if by some miracle it happens, he can also be the one to do it at night. He can bring her into the living room and he had better not let her lie her damned body down on my couch. I sit there to watch TV with a cat on my lap and I refuse to give my spot up for anyone. She hates cats. She can sit in a stupid chair like anyone else!!! She occupied my couch in a recining position for 5 months taking my place away from me and I hated it. My mother was an alcohonic until her death and laid in a drunkened stupor on a couch as long as I can remember. I will not go through it again.

I never told you...she tried to kill the cat I have when it was a kitten. She says she didn't know it was a kitten at the time, though. B.S. There was something under her house and she sprayed a can of RAID at it to try to kill it. It managed to get out and crawl up on her porch. We arrived there one Sunday and found it there that day, in the throes of death, and brought it home and managed to save it's life. She's 14 years old now and lives on my lap in the evenings. Somebody that hates cats isn't a nice person in my book, no matter who they are.
(1)
Report

You do have the option to tell your husband NO. You also have the option to call the nursing home and tell them that your husband expects you to be her caregiver once he brings her home and that you will not be doing it. Your decision about what to do with your life is only yours to make. One way or another we all decide what we will allow others to put us though. Holding in our true thoughts and feelings while allowing others to trample on us only causes us great harm emotionally, mentally and physically. Deep anger and resentment is what causes life threatening diseases. Ignoring our own self care doesn't work either. We can only do that for a time and then we eventually end up so physically sick that we are unable to care for the other person. It is much kinder to admit to ourselves and others what we don't want to do with our lives. Positive changes only occur when we use our voice and speak our truth. If we don't use this voice then sooner or later we start to speak in body language that says it anyway, by being passive aggressive.. we refuse, we neglect, we end up becoming sick on all levels. I hope you figure out what to do that will help you and your MIL in the long run. It might be more loving toward your MIL to keep her in a nursing home where she will be getting care from people who don't resent her or care for her under deep feelings of anger. Being honest with your husband about this is important. If you simply tell him the truth that you don't want to be the caregiver to his Mother anymore, that it is physically to hard for you to do, and that if he want's to bring her home then he needs to hire someone to come in and do the caregiving or keep her in the nursing home. Sure he will be disappointed, angry even but he will be faced with making a choice instead of putting it on you. Many people have the mindset that Nursing Homes are the worse kind of place to be and I'm sure that many of them don't have the staff to give prompt care to everyone but that is where we can help out and fill in for the lack. I know many people who help care for their parents in this way and it is for the best.
(2)
Report

Cats are awesome! I cannot believe--but I have witnessed it--people being just mean and cruel for no good reason. I am a cat person but I do not dislike dogs. I have had dog owners be irresponsible with their pets, leaving a few scars on me and on my kids. I really don't blame the dog-- dogs need training, exercise, etc., that makes them difficult if they do noy get it daily. I know my cats are cool with me and they help me as I do my caregiving rounds. My mom really likes my cats so we bring them over when we can and she loves having them sitting by her or in her lap when I bring her to visit. The ALF welcomes pets--I see the smiles. Luckily, my kitties love being petted and reward with purrs.
(1)
Report

I can't imagine the war that would begin if I called the nursing home and told them not to let my MIL go and my husband went to get her, or the ambulance did and was refused so someone called him and told him the news. I would be sent packing. Of course, I would be relieved of caring for MIL, but I would be without a home. I have my teat in a wringer and it hurts to go forward and it hurts to go backward. Maybe many of you don't know what a wringer even looks like, but while I was growing up, we had a wringer washer and I even used it myself.

Nancy called me awhile ago. She has started her radiation treatments. They take only about 10 minutes each. She says there's nothing to it and she will be here "with bells on" Monday morning. She thinks she and I will be going to the Nursing home to get MIL released to the ambulance and brought home. I don't know what is going to happen. I'll just have to wait until Tuesday and then I'll know what really happened.

I do know one thing for sure, this nursing home is one of the finest there is. Their name is Heartland and I don't think I could praise them enough. They are the cleanest place I have ever seen, friendly, helpful, (like Walmart employees--they stop and pay attention to you right then if they can). There are beautiful pictures on every wall, they have entertainment rooms with windows you could see into with patients having a great time, sing alongs, movies, a lunchroom if "residents" wanted to go out to lunch, tvs that hung over the patient's bed instead of way off on the wall. The part for the critical residents is designed like a hospital, with good reason, and the rooms are large and visitors are welcome anytime. If the time finally comes and he deided to put her back into one again, she will go back there.

Nancy thought since I've had almost a month off, I should be well rested and fine to take care of MIL now. I said "wait a minute, Nancy. I will have had 17 days. That's not a month. I won't have been rested from taking care of her and I am, in fact, dreading it. I kind of got a tast of what life is all about again and I think I liked it. I'll be jailed once more with the click of a finger. I'm just not cut out to be a caregiver". I could hear "tsk tsk tsk" in the distance. Here we go again. She's bringing her attitude with her, I can see.
(0)
Report

I meant "taste" of what life is about.
(0)
Report

Well, she is home now and her first night was typical. She had me up four different times trying to climb out of bed. She was too hot, she was too cold, she had to potty, she wanted to carry in the groceries and help put them away. My eyes are burning. We make her wear Depends. While she was on the potty, she tore the Depends all up. They weren't dirty. I asked her why she was doing that, I couldn't stop her quick enough to save them. She said she couldn't figure out how she was going to get them back on. They were already on her. All I had to do was pull them back up, just like panties. Those darned things aren't cheap. It's a good thing my husband buys them out of her checkbook! They told me at the nursing home she slept all night there. This is just ridiculous.

Nancy was in a rare good mood all day yesterday. It was actually pleasant to be here, but I still spent most of my day outside. Warm days won't be around forever and I intend to use up as many as I can the way I want to. She's not an outside person and I am. I need to mow grass today and it takes about 2 1/2 hours to do out yard. I'll enjoy every minute of it, too.

I think I'd like to leave the railings on the hospital bed down tonight, though. Let her climb out and fall and get it over with!.
(3)
Report

Oh dear, bless your heart. You know it almost sounds as if she is doing the things she is doing just to tick you off and make you miserable. Please take deep breaths each time you have to deal with her, talk to God when you have time, and tell your husband that you've really had enough, and he can get up with her at night, so you can get enough sleep to deal with her during the day. How is your back by the way? I haven't kept up on all of the postings. But I'd use that to the fullest extent.
Take care sweetie
JAD711
(1)
Report

Hi, Jad. Thanks for asking about my back. It's doing really good right now. My right thigh is still numb, though. Doc says it might take 3 ro 4 days to get the feeling back there. He says he can refer me to a back doctor. I don't want that. I'll just deal with the numbness for awhile. When I talked to my neurologist a couple of years ago about MIL, he says she does these things for spite. I said, "for real?" He said he really thought so. His nurse said she was her Mother's caregiver for several years until her deth and she treated her badly, too, and she thought it was just for spite, too. Maybe it is. MIL charmed everybody at the nursing home. They thought she was just the sweetest thing they had ever seen. She never tried to get out of bed or even demonstrated any dementia episodes, and she slept all night every night. But, as soon as she entered our house, it all started again. Is she just acting? She's driving me beserk.
(1)
Report

I meant 3 to 4 months., not days. for my legs's feeling to come back. It's been a month almost already. If mosquitoes want to bite me, there would be a good place to do it.
(0)
Report

Yes I do think it's because she knows you hate doing it, and she just wants to make you miserable. Ask her if she was happy there and does she want to go back, and ship her right over there. Well sure hope something happens one way or the other for you. As for your leg, I really hope it gets the feeling back soon, that must drive you crazy! You take good care of yourself, okay?
(1)
Report

This is just stupid funny, OK? Since MIL slept all night at the nursing home EVERY NIGHT, never went to the potty at night, etc, we asked the administrator if they may have given her sedatives to help her sleep because she just doesn't sleep all night at home. We told her I was up all night last night. She wanted to make the suggestions that when she wakes me up, I rub her down with soothing lotions, sit and talk to her about "remember when" kind of things, get her something to drink, spray fragrances she likes around the room, make her go pee. All these things might make her go back to sleep and stay asleep, she said. (She didn't know she has an indwelling catheter). Well, I would first have to like this MIL in order to rub her down with soothing lotions. Not going to happen. My remember whens are hateful things she has done to me. She refuses air freshener anytime I have offered to spray it, no matter the fragrance I buy, I offer her fresh water or anything else she wants every single time she gets me up and she refuses. Nancy and I discussed this at length today. She remembers sweet Aunt Dot who wouldn't hurt a fly. She doesn't know the side of her I am describing. I told her she and I don't know the same woman. She said her Mother , mil's sister, was just like this. Her Mother was 95 when she died. Woe is me. Mil is only 93. I may have several more years of this. Nobody can give advice to fix this for me. There is no fixing. You can't unburn paper and this paper is burned up. I just need to come here and tell my story every now and then. I really appreciate all the shoulders I find here. That's all I need right now. I don't know any of you personally, but I love you all because you care. Thank you for that.
(2)
Report

1 2 3 4
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter