What is the absolute hardest thing about caregiving our elders?

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I'm sure this question has been asked before so please forgive me if I reiterate--

But what are some of the hardest things you find about caregiving?

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Waching my Dad die before my eyes, just dwindle away. Some days I sit watching to see if he is breathing. Is this the day he dies? Then he gets up. Thje emotional roller coaster is the hardest
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I'm finding the hardest thing is not having lives of our own anymore. My husband and I met later in our lives and were used to being able to come and go. Visits with others, dinners out, day trips, etc. We used to go away a few weekends a year. Nothing extravagant, but now that seems to be over. We have few family members we can ask to stay with my mom, and we live in a rural area with few resources available.
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I think now its throwing tantrums in public i dont know what to do about this i just stand there frozen hoping nobody is watching? i try not to challenge her but when shes got wads of money sticking out of her pocket for all to see I say be careful and she goes mad "im not an idiot". Yep i think this is the hardest but im learning boy do you learn how to not anger them in public! I am just waiting for this "anger stage" to cool down and am hoping she may become more passive i do hope so!
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Yes cellytron so true! the other night she went mad because her dinner wasnt ready in time i mean really lost it (ok so shes diabetic and low bloods etc) i have never seen her so mad it was scary stuff! then the next morning im still shaking in my boots and shes in great form dosnt remember a thing? wow it sure throws you! but its a bit better than her hanging on to those moods for days like last year now its roughly every second day or so! ive learnt to not let it get to me as much now as now i know more about this disease and i have good hiding places!!!
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The hardest thing for me is the verbal abuse. From my sister the POA, from my husband who has dementia, from my mother who has dementia. The isolation. The no let up. Always on, 24/7 even if mom is in the NH. No vacations.
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The unpredictability. I try to recharge my batteries on her good days, but then her bad days throw me for such a loop that I'm just miserable/useless for a good week or so afterward.
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The verbal abuse and manipulation to get their way. I do so much for them and yet I am the one getting all the mean comments and deep cut downs
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Oh Jessie! I Hear ya! (pun intended) What? Huh? say that again. WHAT????
It is exhausting!
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Jessie, I have similar so-called conversations with my Mom who is still as sharp as a tack but it is her hearing that has almost disappeared. I am constantly repeating, or changing the sentence around, or creating a new shorter sentence using different words.

Mom will pick up one or two words from the sentence and run with that, and I keep my fingers crossed I get my answer from what she is saying. I am starting to learn what one or two words she will identify, such as "groceries Tuesday" which she easily understands.

I know we expect such conversations from small children, especially "why?" this or "why?" that. But we don't expect it from an adult we have known most of our life, thus the frustration.
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I had to revisit this question today. While many things are challenging, the absolute hardest thing for me is having to repeat everything I say. Many people can say you have to have patience and you have to remember she's old. But I have a feeling these people don't live it.

I can listen to her say the same things. That doesn't bother me. I can go through the same routines every day without much trouble. However, saying things over and over again gets on my last nerve. It is the thing that brings me closest to snapping.

A typical conversation:
Me: Good morning.
Her: Huh?
Me: Good morning.
Her: Wha...
Me: I said good morning.
Her: I heard you. I don't know why I said huh.
Me: Probably to drive me crazy.
Her: Huh?
...

I don't think humans were designed to deal with this type of frustration.
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