I am 46, mom is 68, recently diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. I came down 1/30/13 when my sister called and said she had had a seizure and was in the ER, and slid into the roll of primary caregiver that night.
Since then she has had brain surgery and is planning to start chemo and radiation next week.
I am no stranger to help forums, or to caregiving. I stayed with gramps the last year of his life so he could die at home and the Alzheimer's support forums were a big help.
With gramps, he had 3 kids who were super supportive of our situation and they all spelled me when I needed it, hired people who help me when the time came and made sure we had what ever we needed
With mom, it is just my sister and I. My sister is a single parent of a 5 year old boy, and lives a couple of miles away from mom. I live 3 hours north and have a job/home/partner and friends I miss when I am down here.
My sister stays with my mom on weekends so I can go home
So, everything is pretty good. . .except, neither my mom or my sister want to talk about logistics much. I hate that I get scared that I might be here for a year or two. I want to just be happy if the treatments work and she sticks around, but I get scared I might lose out on something at home.
I know the fear is baseless. I know when this is all said and done I will be grateful for every moment I spent with mom, so I try and just enjoy the days as they pass
If I mention hiring someone or anything else, my mom flips out and wont talk about it and my sister doesn't much want to talk about it either.
Still, it is a new thing, we are all finding our groove
Thank you for letting me vent and for being here. It is important we all have a chance to speak our truths without being shamed and it is nice to know we aren't alone in the way we feel