My husband used all our tax refund plus to pay a hospital bill without telling me. Now our savings is very low. We don't have a lot of money and I was going to call the hospital to see about getting some help with the bill, which I told him, but of course he forgot. I'm angry with him, don't know how to talk to him about it and don't know how to keep him from controlling our finances. I'm afraid he's going to mess something up. He has MCI.

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Yes I agree with cwillie too. I knew a woman that chose what bills to pay or not pay while having $3000 in a savings account. Her husband was livid that she didn't pay bills while she has the cash to do so. She asked me what to do. Knowing she very head-strong and needed the savings to feel secure, I told her "Don't tell him when you do it. You are not going to change and he only gets upset when he finds out". The hubby mentioned feels better without bills hanging over his head and probably feels strongly about paying his own way.

I agree with cwillie here. It is just an issue of communication. nothing else.

I don't think what your husband did was wrong necessarily, it seems to me to reflect a difference of opinion on how the bill should be taken care of rather than dementia. Who has been in charge of paying the bills up until now? If he has always made those decisions then you may have to start the process of taking over slowly. Redirecting the bills to your name may make him leave them for you to open, better yet work toward setting up online payments and paperless billing, hopefully out of sight will be out of mind. I personally have set up most of my monthly bills to be paid automatically from my chequing account, it is one thing less to worry about.

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