A few details for background -- I left a teaching job to move in with my mother 4.5 years ago and have had to take over all of her care except for respite twice a week. She was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease Dementia about 2 years ago and in recent months has been sliding downhill fast. She has bouts of suspicion and paranoia and becomes fixated on money. Now she is convinced I am "spending all her money". For evidence of this she accuses me of using too much toilet paper ( I have to do her toileting and she is also incontinent). And she thinks I spend too much on groceries ( I tried to make her diet healthier with more fruits and vegetables and whole foods because of the Parkinson's.) She gets the statements each month and can see where the money goes and that we are living well within her means (on a modest government pension), but there is no reasoning with her when she gets like this. She has lost her ability to reason and have good judgement.
She gave me her credit card to pay for groceries, the pharmacy and household things but then started to demand it back. I also have POA which she gave me 7 years ago before the dementia was a factor. I told her I needed the card to pay for groceries, so she called the local police who came to the house to investigate. I called my aunt, her sister, to come and she told him the true situation. Mom can appear normal to strangers but they don't see the 24/7 hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. Anyway he was satisfied and helpfully, not!!!, told Mom she could cancel the credit card if she wanted.
The next day when I was out the respite worker helped Mom to cancel the card. I was grocery shopping at the time which they both knew. I asked the worker to call me if anything happened but she didn't. After getting groceries the card was declined at the checkout. I had to pay for the groceries myself, which I do sometimes anyway, as I can afford. But what are we going to do next week or after that for groceries or necessities? I can't afford to pay for everything on my own. I think the worker showed poor judgement at the very least.