Ok, I know my mom is nervous and upset because tomorrow is the move to ALF, but does that mean I have to be yelled at and put down today? Breakfast was I only want cookies (insulin depedent daibetic). Then I asked if she would stop feeding the cookies to the dog, and told I don't have to. I asked it she wanted to go to the grocery store for some fruit, as she has none. Said yes, asked to get ready as she is still wearing clothes from yesterday that she spilled food and coffee on. Told don't have to. Asked her why not, tols she has no clothes and it does not matter. Told her then we cann't go to the store. I was then yelled at, about being a pain and mean, and who cares about the store. It is not even 10 am how am I going to get through today and tomorrow? Trying not to get angry, but it is hard not to have my feelings hurt.

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TC, I don't know if you have children, but I once told a friend that if my son didn't say he hated me at least once a week, I wasn't doing my job. AL was not mom's idea, it is not where she wants to be, and you are the driving force that is getting her moved there. Of course she is angry, and acting out. If she was cooperative and pleasant and able to self-care, she would not need the AL. Practice deep breathing - and remember that this too shall pass.

A valuable lesson my mother has taught me is that silence goes a long way. That way they can have their say, but we don't have to participate in the bad feelings. I sympathize with both you and your mother with what you're going through. You probably feel guilty, which makes her jabs pierce even worse. It is a painful time in life, but soon it will all be in the rear-view mirror. I hope she adapts quickly to the ALF and starts to enjoy it.

From what I had read, it is not easy dealing with a parent who now acts like a child. Of course, it is no fault of their own. Getting old is tough. One loses a lot of their independence.

Any time your Mom refuses to do something, think about her being a 2 year old child and the challenges they give to their parents. Like saying "you are mean". That might put a different perspective on dealing with her.

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