She will be private pay for hopefully a year and a half more.
The bad news. She now has advanced to gait apraxia. Disease advanced to point she is in wheelchair. Can barely stand, that's going too. On depends.

You ask yourself is it because she is in memory care? On psychotropic meds due to behaviour? Advancement of disease?

It is the latter. It is still hard and guilt inducing.

We have erased through disposal of stuff and sale of house her footprint in home city. It is surprisingly emotional for me. Since I was 18, a very long time ago, I have not known her not to own lots of real estate.
Bur we have funds for her care.

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While my own parents God Love Them (deceased X 14 & 15 years now), did not have dementia, they passed from the ugly diseases PSP & Cancer, we did go through the process of selling the home that us 6 kids grew up in, downsizing them to more manageable digs, and I remember it was rough, but once we got them all set up in their apartment, and they were in it surrounded by their things, I soon realized that home is definitely where the heart is.

We had to move them 2 more times for health reasons into my Sisters attached MIL apartment where they live and declined for another 8 years, and then to my eldest sister home where their diseases got the best of them.

Tthankfully with 6 of us helping plus our spouses and the older grandkids, we were lucky to be able to keep them in the family setting, but believe me, it does take a village!

I understand how painful it must be, seeing your Mom diminish, and her life and dreams are liquidated, but she has you, and that is really all that matters in the end! The rest of it is just stuff, so keep ahold of some treasures and the happy memories, and that will get you through the rough parts. She is very lucky to have such a hardworking, loyal and Loving Daughter in you! Grieve as you will, but do take care of yourself!

Thanks everyone.

Segoline, I don't think it's surprising that it's emotional for you. This is a major life transition for not only mom, who sounds like she has a rapidly advancing new disabling condition, but for you, who are learning things about her you hadn't known before. It kind of rocks a person's foundation, you know? Let the emotions ebb and flow and remind yourself that it's completely normal and understandable. This is really, really hard. Take good care.

If anyone facing Medicaid application in future, like 87 percent are, get an appraisal professionally done. Medicaid is a bear about fair market value in sale.

We got that value and then some. Just do it.

Thank you. I am surprised how emotional this was. Since I was 18, a very long time ago, I have not known my mom to not own a lot of real estate.

She has been in memory care now for 5 months. This is pretty rapid.

The emotions that you are feeling are perfectly normal and to be expected.  Your Mom's health continues to decline due to the advancement of her disease.  I am glad that you are able to realize that.  Many family members have trouble realizing that their parent is getting older and that their health is failing.

Selling your parent's home is not easy either.  The memories and good times that you experienced are still with you, but the physical building is not. 

It is okay to grieve the loss of your Mom's health (AKA anticipatory grief) and the loss of your Mom's house.  Let these emotions come, acknowledge them and then let them go. 

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