every morning i wake up and do my "gma check". some days she makes it easy sitting in her chair reading the newspaper. other days i walk through out the house into the back yard and around the corner where i find gma digging through trash or trying to move a 20lb cement block.
i usually try NOT to let her see me when i get up. when i have to yell, repeat myself three times and wait for her to get close enough to hear me say "good morning gma" usually puts me in a bad mood so i do my best to avoid it first thing in the morning. as long as i know where gma is and what she's doing, i know she's fine.
it seems like the days gma's "being good" just sitting there reading her paper are the days she argues with me for no reason at all. a few minutes ago as i walked to the front door, i waited until she saw me and when she looked at me walking out i nodded my head saying "whats up gma"(without words). she turned her head and looked back at her paper. i asked her what was wrong then she looked at me and said "i'm mad at you". i closed the door, walked closer to her and asked her why she was mad and she tells me "i'm mad at you because you were mad at me the other day so i don't want to talk to you"
i didn't even bother responding. all i keep thinking about is...
it's gonna be one of those days....

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Well said JG. I find myself getting off to a bad start when according to my ideal morning mom gets up before 8 am. I would rather she not rise until 10 or so in order to have a couple of hours to myself. But, the life of a caregiver is on their schedule not mine and the day goes much easier if I can grin and bear it, give her a hug and say good morning which is difficult day after day.

Does gramma have dementia or other cognitive impairment? Could you try to change the flavor of the day by asking, "Can we hug and make up, Gramma? I feel bad when you are mad!" Never mind whose fault it is or whether her memory of the incident is totally bogus -- just try to smooth things over when she is argumentative.

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