I'm emotionally worn out. Dealing with mom. If there are any books on caregiving with a dysfunctional family that would be good also. My brother has personality disorder, lazy, and excessive anger. Mom has anxiety disorder and is rigid. Won't listen to anyone. And I think is codependent with my brother. I really need help to get some emotional stability back.


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When my husband and I realized we needed to read some books about caregiving and being a caregiver to our parents we went to the library and asked the librarian what books were the most popular. For the dysfunctional aspect, there's "Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families" by John and Linda Friel.

Find some lighter reading too. I highly recommend Roz Chast's "Can't we talk about something more pleasant?" I hope you will find humor in Roz's book because laughter is great medicine.

Look up "compassion fatigue" "cost of caring" and "secondary traumatic stress" and read with the objective not of taking better care of your mother and/or brother but rather taking better care of yourself. There's "Transforming Stress: The Heartmath Solution for Relieving Worry, Fatigue, and Tension" by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.

There's only so much anyone can do - period. You are emotionally worn out and if you let it get worse it will rob you of months - or worse, years - of your precious life. Figure out what you can do and what you won't do. Set limits. Establish healthy boundaries. Stand up for yourself because no one else will. Here's a book you may find helpful: "Emotional Blackmail: When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You" by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier.

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