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The Caregiver needs help


My mother passed away. Not long after a woman moved in on him like a snake in the grass. I took care of my parents my whole life.


This turned out to be the worst nightmare of my life. I have sisters that didn't listen to me and would not help. He was taken away out of state. I'll never know how he died but I know he was terribly abused and she caused his death.


I tried to do everything I possibly could to stop this tragedy. The things she did were so horrendous. Horrible things were done. This was a calculating person with no conscience. Gold diggers usually just want the money, which there was plenty. But this went on further than that. Just cruel things done. I do not want to discuss the other horrendous things that were done, but it couldn't be much worse than what I witnessed.


Despite the fact that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, NO one would help me.


This person pretty much told me she was taking him and everything he had, even my mother's personal items. This was said to me when no one else was listening. There are so many things that happened so fast.


I took care of my parents almost my whole life. Then I was thrown out like a piece of trash. This happened several years ago.


I know he was abused while still here. The police were called several times about the abuse on him. They were called by a neighbor, and my father himself, scared of her. Then he was taken away. No goodbyes, no nothing. I know that she killed him, at the least by sheer neglect, but I suspect it was something else.


This really broke my heart. It caused a severe depression for years. I still have nightmares about this, 3, 4 times a week.


My parents were honest, good people who believed in family traditions, and passing down traditions, memories, the family home to their children and Grandchildren.


I lost my Mom, my Dad, my job, my home, my car, all within about 2 years. My sister's left me here to take care of my parents. I never had a family of my own. I spent all of my adult life taking care of my parents. They were in their 40's when I was born.


I've been treated for Manic Depression, OCD, and many other mental issues since all of this happened.


I am writing this because I have been trying to get my life together for years. I have never had any closure to this. It haunts me every day. The system failed my father and his children, especially myself, the youngest.


I hope this helps someone. Protect your aging parent and be aware of predators.


As for myself, I still need help. I have seen numerous counselors and have taken different medications. I would like to join a group where I can talk to others who have suffered like this. I do not want to be like this.


I had a wonderful childhood, but I can not look at any family pictures without the nightmare that destroyed my family overpowering any happy memories.


- The last lost Child



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I'm sorry to hear this has happened. There was a gold digger that was sniffing around my father after my mother died. If you were with your father all the time, how did she get close to him and manage to take everything?
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So very sorry that your father was abused (and killed) by a wicked and horrible woman and that she stole your inheritance. Greedy killers don't go over very well with me. I don't know how long ago this was or if the gold digger is still alive, but contact the police because murder doesn't have a statute of limitations.

If contacting the police doesn't lead to anything, then find the Gold Digger and let her know that you and everyone in town, know what she did and that you're all watching her. As much as the law will allow, make life for her very, very uncomfortable, or better yet, make it hell on earth for her.

Tell Gold Digger that if her "secret" goes to the grave with her, that God knows exactly what she did, why she did it and that greed and murder don't go over very well with God. Then tell the Gold Digger that she doesn't have to worry about God because she won't be hanging around Him because she is destined for a very hot and unpleasant place, and she won't be able to take your father's money with her.

Lastly, tell Ms Gold Digger that those sounds she hears in the dead of night (make her start thinking that there are creepy noises in her house) are from your dad - AND your mom - haunting her and that they will continue to haunt her until she confesses her crimes to the police and unless she does, the Devil will be waiting for her when she takes her last breath. Make her afraid - very, very afraid.
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I hope for your sake that you get the help that you need. It is time to move on from something that is done, over and cannot be changed. You have the remainder of your life to live, and you will do your father great honor to live it the best you can, the most quality, giving the most to others. If you need to seek help to comb through this, then please do. Let no one tell you the time frame and the ways of your mourning. Take your time. But be good to yourself. And be good to OTHERS, for that latter, I will guarantee you, will HEAL you.
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I am sorry, this is not an uncommon here in Florida, this type of woman can destroy a family.
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I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. I really think something needs to be done with our states when there is elderly protective services & they do nothing about these types of situations. I ended up emailing my Senator & he got them to open an investigation. Too many elderly people especially with dementia are taken advantage of & sometimes by their own kids.
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I’m so terribly sorry. Many, many hugs!
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Wondering how we can help.

So, what brought you to AgingCare forum on this particular night? What is happening in your life now?
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