I have noticed that it is unusual for people to go out of their way to help an older person. Such as, when an older man is in a wheel chair and he is having to wheel himself around the check outs while he is also on oxygen, to go to the rest room. I know everyone have their own concerns, but it is no secret that these elderly gents and ladies would not forget the compassion you show them! Especially when it is obvious they need help, back in my day it was taught to help them. Open the door, "can I help you", etc.
Ashlynne they don't have a life, they have an existence they rarely have a spouse.?a home well if you can call it that. they certainly have kids, usually several by different men. I can't condem that because that is the only way they can get the affection they are so starved for. Abused physically and sexually from an early age - male and female. Their parents passed out on drugs or booze during their childhood. School whats that? Parents don't want to get up that early to get them on the bus. I can go on and on.
As for disability, most people have not idea how long it takes to get approved for that. Typically 2 - 3 years and how do you put food on the table while you wait and try to pay medical bills. The answer is you can't you have to do just what the authorities hope you will do and that is take any job you can find at a fraction of your previous income. No chance of disability once you have a paycheck Someome I know needs disability and is about to apply for the third time and has been advised that the third time is usually a charm.
Pam Stegman will quote the actual rules I don't because I don't actually know the regulations but do know you are allowed to do a certain amount of work while on disability.I do have experience from the applicants point of view both from what this younge friend has been going through and my husband's own experience and the devastation it brought to our lives. My husband was a professional with matching income and we went to zero. We never were big spenders but had a mortgage and three kids in college. We lived on credit cards after we had withdrawn all of our retirement savings. Hubby had private disability insurance and was under 65 but that took 2 years to get and when it came they paid the back amount in the same year as we started getting the monthly payments so you can imagine what that did to our tax rate. When he turned 65 the private insurer demanded he apply for SSDI and hired a lawyer (you know the ones that advertise on TV) to handle the application. It was approved the first try but 25% of the back amount went to the lawyer. After that the private insurer deducted the amount of SSDI from their payment including their cut of the SSDI back payment lump sum. No health insurance comes with all that so we paid $1100 out of pocket a month till we were old enough for Medicare.
We did manage to keep our home and the kids stayed in college supporting themselves and taking loans. At 59 I went back to work for another 10 years.
How did we come out of all this.? for a while we juggled credit card balances between numerous cards which is no longer so easy to do, then we were able to sell our home and move to more modest quarters. Finally hubby's parents died and through their fore sight and frugality we inherited enough to clear all the debts and have a cushion left. We are still not in the position we should have been in if hubby had continued his well paying job but I don't lie awake at nights wondering which bills to pay first. Hubby's contemporaries go south for the winter have overseas vacations and cruises but I doubt they have fewer personal problems. I gained so much from my final career including a sence of self worth and huge personal growth for which I will be forever grateful.
Now back to those Aides. Training for an aide is basically free and only takes five weeks and pays a little over minimum and if you are smart enough paves the way to LPN, RN and beyond. Many of them have been doing it for many years and the older ones are exhausted and burned out but not yet 65 + They often work nights because that way they are home during the day to watch the kids or grand kids or care for a sick husband or other relative. As for the other half of the aides I encountered during a recent hospital stay they were younge bright slim in newish scrubs, interested in their patients and observent of changes in condition. Swollen feet the RN was in there checking in a heartbeat .
They were making a career of nursing and were RN students at the nearest university.
When I was working I used to hate it when I knew I was visiting a patient with a daughter who was an Aide. nine times out of ten all her sisters were also aides and they would be sitting on every available chair in a broken down trailer holding their stethoscopes waiting to see just how much this hospice nurse thought she knew about Mom or Dad. Once I had run the gaumtlet and found Mom in a darkened back room I would turn my back on the ten faces peering through the door and just hold Mom's hand. I was actually feeling her pulse but they did not know that. A pulse can tell you a million things if you grew up before modern medical marvals. After a few minutes of holding Mom's hand and stroking her arm the bravest one would ask "Well nurse what are you going to do now?" Tiny bit of respect in the voice because with my grey hair it was obvious the ink had long since dried on my diploma. "First of all I am going to get her cleaned up, she's been lying in this all day' So get me hot water, towels clean sheets and another night gown" Shock spread over thier faces becaus a RN did not change poopy diapers!!!!"
Got off on a tangent there but my point is that Aides come in all shapes and sizes for many reasons and at all levels of intellegence.
We have wonderful private caregivers on this sight who have gaine much knowledge during their years of caregiving. i don't know if they have formal certifications or not. It does not matter, they have proved their ability to do the job and do it with patience and humility. If I was called to visit one of their patients I would listen very carefully to what they had to report because I know they have sensibilities beyond their level of training. Nursing is a whole different world from 50 years ago.I skipped the middle bit, can't read an EKG, start an IV and many other things the modern RN is taught but I sure can assess a patient and recognize signs of various diseases and if I don't know still have a tongue in my head and an inquiring mind.
Capt I have great respect for male nurses. Their work ethic is usually excellent and they are very knowlegeable and compassionate. Facial hair can create a hygiene problem but even worse are the female nurses with flowing lockes that lean over you. Like food workers it should be restrained or covered at work. Gloves and masks are worthless with hair flowing in the wind. I
Sorry this is way off the subject of helping elders which I have previously said I am very appreciative off. Is like surgeons with sterile fingers who peek under dressings.
actually, a nurse at the rehab center is a male with almost as much wool on his face as i have and he seems quite respected in his workplace.
im about over stones. they dont offer near the resistance a f**ktarded dementia patient does.
youre hilarious veronica. stfu and make with the loufa sponge..
Just a thought
I see a lot of elderlies refusing to go to the front of the line (stores or post office.) They prefer to wait in line with everyone. I have several time offered them to cut in front of me but they refuse.
i saw an old lady in a wheelchair today at ednas rehab facility blocking the aisle that i wanted to traverse . she was beside an old guy , also in a wheelchair and i thought they were talking so i tried to wait them out. a closer glance showed that the old man was out of it with dementia and the old lady was trying to get past his chair but one of her footrests had came off and was entrapping both of them. i reattached her footrest, adjusted the height of it , told her her other dammit was missing, then asked a nurse to get her a second footrest. i was kindly thanked by the old gal and indeed enjoyed helping a helpless person out. i have an eye for the things people struggle with, always have had. i un -f**k things. im going to be giving some thought to what i might do in the elder care arena for a living. i think i communicate masterfully with less than coherant people as i compare my technics to the professionals ive met in the field. ive shaken up stone masonry with so much impact that theres little challenge left and i could walk away from it in a minute for something more challenging and rewarding. with little training i could be in the capacity of patient advocate and work in a professional environment with a staff of HOT looking women.
I suspect that you are preaching to the choir here ... after being caregivers I think most of us are sensitive to persons in need and generally try to help if we can.