This morning I've had just about enough and have to get out for a while. Yesterday I talked to my mother about me cleaning out a closet today. She was all good with it. So today I did it and she crawled on me. I put it back in its old hoarded condition, and told her if I wasn't frakking crazy within a year, it would be a wonder. Do it, don't do it. Waste my time. Waste my life. Then get mad at me for doing it. What a dreadful human.
Jessie, some alternatives that have worked for me 1) take some time to be sure your mum does not change her mind about things you discuss, let a few days go by, and bring it up again. If she continues to be positive about it then do it. 2) if she gets mad after the fact, just tell her that you discussed it and she agreed, and if she doesn't like it, she can make the changes and let it go at that 3) recognize that she uses anger/criticism to get to you and take 10 deep breaths, and walk away from it. A therapist once told me to reflect anger back to a person who uses anger as a tool. For example, saying "I can see that you are very angry about that." I wish I had learned that earlier and used it more.
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to you