Dad died 5 1/2 years ago, Mom this year. I was their sole are giver for a decade. Luckily, or not, I retired before my folks moved into my home and do not work. So, no mandatory exits from my house in a decade and a constant in increasing pressure of care giving during that time.
I've grieved and have been re-integrating into society and find it weird.
I've taken to walking my dog in town (instead of just playing in my large yard), joined a church, thinking about joining a gym. And I will probably volunteer somewhere soon.
Things are weird. Like, I bought my first pair of new jeans in years. Just popped into a shop and grabbed a size 12 off the rack and got it home... fit fine. But a 12 was always a large (I'm chunky! lol) All the tags on the jeans say 12 and calling it a medium.
Weird things that I'm re-adjusting to.
How weird is that? I don’t think that I have ever admitted that to anyone before now.
Having mom in our house for 14 years changed my outlook on life completely!
I think that I am somewhat still emotionally adjusting. Mom died in 2021.
I’m really not sure how to answer this question because I’m not totally sure how I feel.
Being responsible for a parent’s well being is stressful and exhausting. I suppose that I feel a sense of freedom now. Relief too.
The ‘What next?’ anxiety has lingered a bit. When others in my family are struggling with something, I feel myself tensing up some.
You sound as if you are doing well, Cashew. I’m very happy for you!
For me - currently going thru my own readjusting, I'm trying as hard as I can to be easy on myself and to also give myself the time that I need...which is not always easy! Nothing for me right now feels familiar.
You are already paving the way for wonderful new possibilities...feel free to re-integrate into society at your own pace - the advances that you've already made (ie new walking route w/your dog..joining new church and gym, etc) are fantastic and super impressive ...and little by little, you will find your new happiness!
I'm wishing you TONS of Encouragement ....I am cheer-leading you on for happy new beginnings, sunny days, and much laughter to come!
I was stunned! lol