I have learned that my siblings have different perspectives than I. One has financial issues and health issues, another has health issues of his own...while dealing with the passing of a beloved stepson and a mil who has lung cancer and will be moving in with him and his wife. I have learned that there is only so much I can impose on my siblings even though my sister is the primary on mom's DPOA. I live locally with mom who is now in assisted living with dementia that has progressed to the point that she is mentally incapacitated. Sometimes I feel I am being used by my siblings, especially sister but.. I can only do so much, but I have learned, they also can only do so much considering their life situations.I don't have a pressing problem, I only want to start a conversation with others who have similar issues and how are handling your emotional load while understanding your siblings load.
Our success happened by accident but maybe one sibling could be the contact person (the one who speaks to all the Dr.'s and other professionals) and it would be this sibling's responsibility to email the rest of the siblings with an update. Maybe another sibling could be responsible for the banking.
I don't know how many siblings you have lying around so I'll stop at 2 but everyone ought to contribute something and if a sibling has a lot going on in his/her life maybe that sibling's contribution would be small for the time being.
My brother had no idea I needed help because I never asked him. I assumed he should know I needed help. How many months and months I wasted doing everything on my own when he was more than happy to jump in, he just didn't know what to do!
And, of course, we each have our own personalities, beliefs, expectations, and abilities.
Of course we have different perspectives. In many families there is enough commonality to work together toward in caring for a parent. Unfortunately that isn't always the case, even in families where there has not been a lot of dysfunctionality. Wishing that it were so or insisting that it be so doesn't change anything.