General topics.

Mint,

I can relate to what you’re saying. There have been many times when I miss someone so deeply that I long to be with them again.

Naturally, we will always remember the people who brought meaning and purpose in our lives.

You are grieving and experiencing normal feelings during this time. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

I’m grieving the loss of my older brother who died recently. It’s hard to lose people that we love so much.

I loved my parents dearly. I was also close to my mother in law who was a lifeline for me at times. We can feel lost without them.

Even though they no longer share our physical world with us, they left us with so many precious memories for us to cherish.

Sometimes I get very sad when I am reminiscing and other times I smile because I am filled with joy that I had them in my life.

Take comfort in knowing that you were deeply loved by your mom. Wishing you peace during this holiday season.

Gershun,

I have those moments too. It’s normal for memories to come to the surface occasionally.

Your mom would understand how you are feeling but she would also want you to celebrate her life and feel joy.

You had an incredible bond with your mother. That bond will never die. Just because someone is no longer here with us doesn’t mean that we don’t feel their presence in our lives.

I don’t think we can ever forget about people who we loved so deeply.

The holidays can be a difficult time for people who miss their loved ones.

Sending tons of hugs your way!

Gershun,
Do you think that your Sil minded that you cried?
She probably feels closer to you that you trusted her enough to be yourself around her.
What do you think?

I know what you mean Mintmint. Both my parents were like that, I was really close to dad too. In fact he probably validated my feelings even more than my mom, but both did. Nothing like the unconditional love of a parent. Some didn't have that and my heart hurts for them. Some have good supportive spouses and others don't. Try to not lose your grasp on who you are as a person though. Let your mom live on through you. I know you're grieving and this will take time. It's hard. All my best wishes to you.

Mintmint, what you described rings so true for me. My mom died 8 yrs. ago and I still have these moments of indescribable grief.

I went for coffee with my S I L yesterday and she said "You look so much like your mom it's uncanny" Just talking about my mom with someone who knew her brought all my emotions so close to the surface that I started bawling.

My mom validated me too. It wasn't until I just read what you wrote that I realized it. My family isn't close. Going for coffee with someone like I used to do with my mom really made me realize how I haven't filled that empty place in my heart where her love used to reside.

I feel very sad today.

I've been grieving for my mother who passed 8 months ago at 100 years and feeling like I lost my grasp on who I was. I realized today that my problem is that my mother was my safety net for all of my feelings. By that, I mean that no matter what I felt, my mother was the one that validated those feelings. I'm guessing this is what people mean when they say they have lost their anchor. I anticipated this a little while she was still alive but I had no idea what it would really feel like after her death. Does this ring true for anyone else?

Appointments had me out and about the last two days, in beautiful weather.
My dH and I enjoyed lunch out. Such a good meal made it so we were hardly hungry when dinner time came.

Pam,

You are doing the right thing . Many years ago I read that it’s better to read the news instead of watching it including videos and live on the scenes “ bad stuff”.

Send the news can put my hubs in a bad mood ,, I try to avoid it on TV and just read it in the evening on my laptop! Then I can stop when it gets too much! The world is a scarey place these days. Probably always was but now the news just ramps it up so much.

Send,

Indeed, the news is very depressing. You’re right. We have to take a break from it and occupy our minds with something else for a while.

Since early this morning, the news had set me off to a bad mood. I did not like the news today. There was sad, strange, scary, and tragic. All in my area.
Nothing to do about it, and it would have been better for me to not read it.

So, I am not going to think about it anymore.

We have some Aussie Bites from costco, I had two (mostly oats with raisins and apricots) with a rare afternoon serving of coffee. And a great salad today.

Anybody out there having a better day? I would be glad to hear it.

Margaret,

I can see how not seeing a stylist would save tons of money! I also see the convenience of it.

I guess that I am so used to going every six weeks. I did have my husband cutting my hair during Covid. He did a pretty good job.

My husband wouldn’t say that I did a good job cutting his hair though because I am not good with hair! LOL 😆, He did appreciate that I tried though.

Need, when my hair is twisted and clipped, it doesn’t have a chance to look stringy! Thinner is usually easier, as less weight stops it falling down out of the clip. I started cutting my mother’s hair when I was 17 and she was housebound with a stroke, at a time when there were no visiting hair dressers. I still have the ‘teach yourself’ books I got then, and have cut many people’s hair since.

Cwillie, cutting your own hair is quite difficult, much more than cutting on other heads. The one to avoid is cutting hair for someone who is going bald. They look even more bald with each cut, and blame you! DH is now so bald that it doesn’t matter. We were always ‘hair compatible’ – I was prepared to go long, and neither of us cared about ‘bald’.

Same to you, Alva! Enjoy your Thanksgiving celebrations!

Margaret,

Your hair must be prettier than mine. As I aged, my hair got thinner. I had thick hair when I was younger. So did mom and grandma. Their hair got thinner as they aged too. I think it is a genetic thing.

I wouldn’t be able to have long hair. It would look stringy! I keep mine in a pixie cut.

My great aunts had beautiful thick long hair that they put up in a bun.

cw,

My stylist begged me not to cut my own hair, nor my children’s bangs. I am not good at it! My kids ran if they saw me with scissors in my hand! LOL 😆

LOL Margaret. I'm satisfied with the relative ease of my current pixie.
I did cut my own hair for a while and I think I did a pretty good job of it too, but I'm not as dexterous as I once was so now I limit myself to trimming around the ears and my bangs. I've gone through the long and straight 70's to the permed big hair of the 80's, but I think my worst look was the chin length bob in the 90's (it didn't suit me at all, what was I thinking).

Haircuts: I stopped going to the hairdresser 20 odd years ago, when I married Tony and found that he would really really really like me to grow my hair. At that point I had a Mia Farrow very very very fashionable short cut that cost me $60 every 6 weeks. I’ve not paid a penny in hairdressing since then. I wear it up in a clip, and when it gets a bit long and heavy, I hold it in my fist at pony-tail band level. Tony cuts off a couple of inches from the ends, and then clips my neck fluff. My hair drops down ready graded. The last couple of years he clips the bit up my cheeks in front of my ears, because that didn’t grow long and often used to stick out. It all takes less than 10 minutes max.

I really would recommend it. I’ve saved a packet, it’s always convenient, and even when it needs a weekly wash it still looks fine.

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving week, and to let you know I am very thankful for this community I so enjoy. It's honestly the first thing I do in the morning. A cup of java going all caramel color with cream, my laptop on a pillow, and me sitting on the bed in the sun, diving in to see what's new. The day will wait.

I love everything about us, but especially fact that in all of our variety, there is the commonality of our wish to try to help others.
In a time when social media can go all caustic very easily, I think we are one decent group.

I have been helped here.
I have learned a lot here.
Please, all be well.

cw,

I have short hair and have to have it cut often. It adds up!

My hairstylist charges $50 and I tip her $15. I go every six weeks.

You’re right, it doesn’t take much time but they pay a percentage of their wages to the owner.

I need a haircut. But I hate having to fork out over $30 for a simple haircut that takes the stylist less than half an hour - I've timed it and 10 minutes was the fastest and those who play around a little can stretch it up to 20. And this is a walk in with no appointments necessary chain salon, nothing fancy at all 😒

Unfortunately people are not consistently testing or staying home when ill at least in the US . Many are choosing to ignore it if they just have mild cold symptoms . This forces the compromised and others at high risk to live very isolated lives . I feel especially bad for these people . I can’t speak for other countries of course. I was told the same , that they reduced from 10 days to 7 to try to get some compliance .

deleted. Because I don't want to reopen the whole can of worms again.

A few points:

1) My sister aged 79 had the flu shot and the latest Covid shot in April this year. A week later she had a stroke and was then diagnosed with Guillain Bare syndrome. She was in hospital for a month while they finally identified the Guillain Bare syndrome, which is normally very rare. It seemed to be related to having both shots together. DH and I decided not to risk it, and have had neither for this Southern Hemisphere winter just past.

2) The news here is saying that there is a pronounced swell in Covid diagnoses and ICU hospitalisations, though not in deaths. The pundits said to continue doing tests and staying home if you had any symptoms.

3) DH and I have changed our habits quite a lot. We don’t do indoor crowds, which messes up most entertainment and dining out options. We also stay well away from anyone wearing a mask, as we caught Covid earlier by sitting next to someone wearing one in the theatre, and found from conversation that she was only ‘just over it’. Or not ‘just over it’, in fact. Our medicos said that 10 days isolation was really best, but they had compromised on 7 days because they couldn’t get compliance with a longer time. I'm also more careful about washing my hands when I come home from a shopping trip.

cwillie,

No problems by me scheduling , so far not much interest in the US to get the latest Covid dose . I have asthma , DH has diabetes , it’s recommenced we get Flu and Covid vaccines .
I spaced them apart even before I saw those articles , to avoid possibly being down a day or two. I was concerned getting both at the same time would make me feel sick . Didn’t feel sick after either . I also thought maybe I would get a stronger immunity to each , if the immune system can respond to one at a time . The concern in the articles , of getting both at the same time is a very slight increase of stroke for over 65 but especially in the 85 + .

They give babies so many immunizations at the same time . I wonder if the immune system can really respond well enough to them all at once, to get the desired amount of immunity .

Way - public health officials here have given the green light to getting both at the same time and a lot of people have been doing that. I jumped at the chance for the flu shot when I saw it was available because there are already cases reported in the area and I didn't want to wait.

cwillie,

There is some concern about getting Flu and Covid shots together in us older folks . I’ve seen articles recommending space them out 2-3 weeks apart

I got my flu shot last week, none of my friends could understand why I keep getting them now that my mom is gone 🙄. The powers that be announced that covid shots are finally available for the general public, my local grocery store pharmacy allows walk ins so I'll check the line up next time I'm there.

cw,

That reminds me that I have to schedule my flu shot. I received a reminder in my portal. I have been taking pneumonia shots as well.

I wonder if I can wait until November 30th to get my flu shot. I have my regular doctor appointment on that day.

Prairie nephew and his wife are here for a week and last night sis tells me that everyone at the inlaw's house where they are staying has the flu, including DIL.

"Oh, no! how did that happen! Is everyone alright, how sick are they?!" I ask.
"They've all been throwing up for a couple of days, the little one brought it home from play group" says sis.
Me - 😠 "That's NOT the flu".
Sis - "what is it then?"
Me - 🤯😠🤬"you can call it stomach flu if you must, but NOT the flu"

Why do I need to have this conversation every year? The woman gets her flu shots, has worked in LTC, how can she still confuse the two?