Gardening as therapy.

An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie....

Thanks for the suggestion Garden. The management here won't allow 'weeds' especially the Oxalis with the little yellow flowers, and only in my yard. Go figure.
I will plant a specialty butterfly plant (a weed) in May. Or maybe just a hummingbird plant like the neighbors have, the one butterfly we did have liked that red flower.

Windy, SendMe's comments on meadows made me think that a meadow border might also be appropriate for your planned garden. You could add milkweeds to bring in some butterflies.

Cancel the little green avatar statement above. Already changed it to cookies.

Garden, brought my little avatar over here to the gardening thread to shed the last vestiges of green before winter, noticing that both Cwillie and Windy are still using spring colors in their avatars too. Don't you think mine is just a little bit greener? Maybe I am not such an ignorant gardener after all.

SendMe, oak leaf mulch is great - does your husband not think it's mulch? Buying mulch can be expensive; allowing Mother Nature to supply it at least helps lower the cost of overwinter mulching.

When I was younger, much younger, I used to gather leaves raked to the street by neighbors for pickup. Timing that effort once, I realized I spent an average of 18 hours every fall collecting leaves for mulch! Now I'm trying to plan for more leaf dropping trees and shrubs in my yard as it's a lot safer and at least there isn't as much auto exhaust settling on the leaf piles in the street.

Why would you consider yourself "gardening ignorant", or was that meant to apply to your husband in his approach to mulching?

I can't provide grass and flowers for your meadows, but I'm P'M'ing you some links of meadows to view. (If I post here, the ".com" portion will cause the link to be deleted.)

Sendme- I believe El. Nino when we get rain especially after the new year.

There is a long list of what my husband does not think of as mulch, so I guess going to lowe's will yield a bag of something called mulch. At least we had a conversation about it, as I mentioned the oak leaves ( readily accessible, free) to cover the plants in case we get to 32° farenheit for a few nights this year in winter.
The weather reports scaring people about El Nino conditions have been false in our area, but the nights have just now started to drop to 50° at night. Quite a change for us, as daytime this week will be in the 80's.
Somebody should have said about the meadows-none with green grass and flowers this time of year in SoCal. Where's my therapy? Guess there is no help for the gardening-ignorant.

Thanks guys! More info than I expected. It just occurred to me that we have a conservation district office near us. I've bought local wildflower seeds from them before. I'll bet they have ideas about types of regional native stuff I might use.

Cwillie, thanks for making suggestions on perennials. For awhile I was stuck thinking of varieties of ornamental grasses, which I think would look nice in Windy's yard as it seems to be quite open and rural, and wouldn't be appropriate for a more formal garden.

The Japanese Forest Grasses are especially beautiful; there are some lovely varieties of New Zealand Flax (including a stunning dark purple one), and even a new Yucca that would fare well in a long border. Pampas grasses would provide much more height as well as movement on windy days.

Daylilies are a great suggestion; there are literally hundreds of varieties blooming from early through late season, as well as doubles and some rebloomers. They require basically no maintenance except for raking the spent bloom stalks, and they don't even need to be mowed down at the end of the year.

I was also thinking of peonies, which are beautiful and graceful, but their bloom time is short in my area. In addition, they're more expensive compared to other perennials.

I loved the tricolor sage - it was just beautiful. Coneflowers are as well, and are available in a wide range of hybrids and colors. Mints have to my chagrin never been as invasive as I expected. I've wanted more of them to start making lotions. Yarrow also wasn't very invasive, but I think a lot depends on our own individual microclimates. Windy's wife could also use yarrow to make fall and winter wreaths if she's so inclined.

Over the years I've also planted bellflowers (beautiful and dainty), foxglove, hollyhocks and delphiniums (not much success), all of which could blend easily into a grassy area such as Windy has.

Asiatic and Oriental as well as trumpet lilies would produce longer lived flowers and can blend well in between plants with more foliage. Irises - just love them and had dozens at one point. There are also the smaller Dutch irises.

Windy could also add a variety of mums along the inner border for color late into the season.

I'm running out of thoughts so it behooves me now to get some gardening magazines and spend more time with them so I can offer more suggestions.

Thanks for helping Windy; I really seemed to have gotten in a rut. Maybe it's thinking about all that fussing which I freely admit that I do!

Cwille, I like that gardening philosophy, only the strong survive, cause I don't want to fuss with plants much.

I can tell that GA is the kind of gardener that likes to be out in the yard snipping pruning and fussing with her plants, I'm more of a get em in the ground and they had better survive on their own kind of person. I would suggest you start with daylilies, sedums, any variety of perennial sage, coreopsis (tickseed), coneflowers and brown eyed susans. Peonies are tough but tend to flop, but there are cultivars that are more upright. Yarrow is pretty and very tough, but I am cautious about recommending it as I had some go wild and take over. Catmint sounds interesting but I've never tried it... it is a mint though and most mints like to spread. And if you'd like something a little weird early in the season pasque flower is a prairie plant that's kind of cool IMO.

Garden, the slope is about 15%, well drained and gras grows quite well,all summer. I have to mix the area regularly. Yes, do get winter wind but not extreme. Don't want to have to deal with protective barriers for winter, just some simple no maintenance plants. There are some day lilies and iris nearby that do well.

Windyridge~LOL!! Cats and gardening go hand in hand for me as my cat follows me around the yard and he sometimes helps to bury bulbs!!! He is like a dog and it is a game for him.

GA~I have not planted any veggies in some years, but due to water restrictions, we have let some things go such as our lawn is not very green year round. My camellias and roses do well as I can deep water them once a week. Most of my neighbors have brown lawns too. Our summers are very hot high 90's-over 100. I guess we are just hoping our normal weather patterns will return with 14 inches of rain every year. We are expecting an El Nino this year, shall see what happens.

GA....just an update......burning bushes are now starting to turn....I am going to track progress...guess I was travelling too often for the job to keep track....we'll see...

I wouldn't want to plant anything shrubby along a driveway as it could act as a snowfence and deepen drifts along the drive, depending on wind direction. I would look for tough, drought tolerant perennials that can be mowed to the ground in the Fall, extra snow cover from snow plowing/blowing would only act as more insulation.

Windy,

How steep is the grade? 10%? 30%? Is the grassy area growing without erosion and loss of moisture as it drains downhill? That as well as the open exposure to the winter winds would be my first concern. Does this area face the west and get the winds from the Great Lakes?

What I'd grow on a flat area would be different from growing on a sloped area, especially one exposed to snow being thrown up during the winter. Roses such as the Austin roses and other delicate ones would definitely be out. I lost a lot of roses from exposure to Western winds, on a flat surface, and it's not as cold in my area as it would be if we had the Great Lakes winds.

Ornamental grasses might be a possibility. I'm partial to hydrangeas, but let me check to find out how they handle your microclimate issues. Another possibility is a combination of shrubs that flower and produce berries as well as multiple color changes in the fall.

But I've been hogging the space here so I'm going to let others have a chance to offer suggestions.

Sharyn,

I've read about some of the gardeners who've been concerned about the drought, and how inadequate moisture affects the taste of their crops. That must be so discouraging...all that work and the plants don't taste good enough to eat.

Have you been badly affected this year? As I recall this year has been the driest for CA in some time.

Do you do any xeriscaping? I was thinking it's probably a good idea to incorporate that into a garden wherever we are; it would certainly minimize the cost of watering.


Finished,

Welcome to the gardening group! I'm envious of your cabin in the woods. Reading about Ashlynne's plans to hole up over the winter, now your plans to be in the woods....makes me very envious. Of course I romantically conceive of a nice cabin, gas burning wood stove (no pollution as with a wood stove even if the fragrance is nicer), relaxing days, thick homemade quilts to wrap up in, perhaps walking through the woods during light snowfalls, maybe seeing a deer or two....

Would the greenhouse be at the cabin? How big would it be? Does your husband have plans drawn, or purchased? Will he be doing the work himself? Starting this year? I don't know where you are but if you're in northern areas it might be getting too close to the time when digging and pouring footings is better left for warmer weather.

I'm guessing you're making a lot of plans to fill the greenhouse?

As to tomatoes, broccoli and spinach...are you thinking of starting them inside? If so, in SE Michigan, my mother started tomatoes and peppers in February under a 4 tiered lighting arrangement. Bottom heat was used for flower such as impatiens, and I think coleus. One year Mom had about 1000 tomato seedlings.

She began hardening them off in May. If you're in a warmer zone, you could probably start your plants later, but if you also are in a drier zone, you might want to get them out earlier so they can get started and set fruit before the dryness affects the taste.

What kind of tomatoes do you plan to grow? Will you be canning them, making sauce?

Are you familiar with potential problems such as damping off? I'm assuming you're also aware of hardening off when the plants are introduced to the outside and need to get acclimatized?

Linda22 grows some of her seedlings in cut off jugs (such as milk jugs). It's another way to start seeds for later outdoor planting.

I haven't grown broccoli in years and don't remember the specifics, i.e., whether or not they should be started in advance indoors. I'm guessing someone else here can help on that subject.

Spinach was just direct seeded in the spring, as soon as I could once there was no danger of frost. I've read that some varieties don't bolt as the older nonhybrid spinaches did. I think Malabar is one that can tolerate summer heat. It's been awhile since I've grown spinach but I want to start again, and I know there are some other varieties to try beyond the old standbys.

With spinach, I would probably plant every week so the crop is staggered. Same with lettuce, beans and peas. Otherwise you have massive amounts to pick and process.

I always enjoyed taking a basket and going out to the garden to pick the greens for a salad.

Yes my BUTTERFLY BUSHES are mulched. No I haven't planned my garden for next year. We're up on on a ridge, lots of shade, and the little flat land we have is used for horse pasture.

But I do have a question. We have a long, steep driveway with a nice grassy berm to one side. I've often thought it would be nice to plant some sort of hardy perennials along the drive that would survive the snow plowing and snow blowing.
We're talking about a 50 yard section about 3 to 5 feet wide that would get lots of summer sun. Ideas?

Garden Artist, gardening is exactly what I plan to do. It's one of the things I love the most. As soon as my husband and I are able to run away to our cabin in the woods...3 weeks, I'm hearing. He promises me a green house I hope I'm not taking on too much... I have gardened all my life...I want to force bulbs to give as gifts at Christmas time... Amaryllis are so gorgeous! Does anyone have any suggestions for how to do tomatoes, broccoli, spinach, etc I would like our diet to be comprised at least 30% from what we grow... But mainly to be surrounded by gorgeous flowers... Take a walk by the river with my beloved husband and be a million miles away from the caregiving that almost stole our lives from us. when I say we tried to get daddy settled somewhere safe for years, it is the understatement of the century. I hope to be able to someday let go of all of the guilt... It's easier to do when I remember that I came very close to being a widow last October when my 50 year old husband came home sweating profusly from another abuse session by my father and later suffered a massive heart attack. when we told my dad my husband's cardiologist said he needed to get rid of his cell phone if he wanted to survive long term, my dad's response was how do you know you even had a heart attack? the next day my dad called my husband's cell phone 10 times. Once was about his remote control for his television... Once was about a sink leaking. He even complained about a brown spot on his lawn...it was almost as though he expected my husband to stop by on his way home from the hospital and look at his sprinkler system.I can't begin to tell you all how completely wasteful it is to plant your seeds in unexalted ground...as long as I know in my heart we did everything we could to help him, I will happily run as fast as I can away from that dysfunctional cruel dynamic. Yes someday that dreaded phone call will come and we will deal with it then. Until then lots of walks lots of gardening lots of love for my husband, many Ducks games with our daughter and her sorority sisters...cruises in our 57 Chevy, even golf. We are going to start our golden years early at 50, because we have lived the last two decades in MISERY... dealing with caregiving for both of my parents, as I've said so many times before, it's our turn now! For those who haven't tried it, I'm sure there are very few, gardening is extremely therapeutic and calming. I highly recommend it.

Uh, oh, Windy's post reminds me of a movie I saw decades ago, one of those black and white movies that instilled fear perhaps because all the shadows prevented clear visualization of the people and scenery. It was about a woman who believed she turned into a cat at night, perhaps one of the movie precursors to all the movies where folks morphed into something not human at night then morphed back during the day and wondered why their clothes were shredded. Can't remember the name of the movie.

Okay, Windy, back to gardening. Did you get your Buddleias mulched? Have you planned your garden for next year? What, you say....planning now? ...Well, that's one of the exciting aspects about gardening. We can plan next year to correct mistakes made this year, or unexpected events such as droughts affecting our plants. And of course we can become excited every time we receive a gardening catalogue in the mail.

Is this thing morphing into a cat lady forum? Not that there's anything wrong with that.........

GA-I would only screen it. Our winters are mild with fog so it is very damp. We do get frost and sometimes a front from Alaska comes through bringing night time temps to 20's. My cat stays inside during the winter. The drought has our temps higher than normal. I sure hope we get rain and a good snow pack in the Sierras this winter.

Sharyn, your neighbors sound like antisocial people who don't really have much tolerance, for animals or children's natural, spontaneous playful activities. That's too bad; hopefully their daughter will grow up to be a more open and tolerant person.

A driveway border bed will be beautiful when highlighted by blue irises. It will also complement the house even though it might not necessary be that close to the actual structure.

I think screening in the patio to make a cat run would be a great idea. Kitty might explore the flower bed, but you could also plant some catnip there to make it special for him. If you put a cat box out, that might alleviate some of the flower garden exploring.

Catnip might be something to plant, but it's not large. I don't know offhand which plants are toxic to cats; it's been quite a few years since I had cats and coincidentally, even though I love the visiting cats, I hadn't thought about what might be toxic to them. I had completely forgotten about that, but I don't generally plant toxic plants anyway. Pokeweed grows naturally, so I'll be sure to watch that next year.

Would you be making your cat room an all weather room? That would increase the cost a lot compared to just screening it in and it might be that your cat wouldn't want to spend that much time outdoors in the cooler weather anyway, even if zone 9a doesn't get frigid weather as the more northern zones do.

I have a good idea who trapped him and they are not nice people. There backyard backs up to our backyard and when my son was around 3 years old, he would play in the backyard. Their daughter is a year or so older, they would pass a plastic tea cup back and forth through a knot hole in the fence, just playing as kids do. When her parents discovered this, they nailed a piece of wood over the knot hole!!!!!

I am in zone 9a. Current temps are in the 70's-80's during the day. I will most likely plant some in containers too. I have a rectangle bed that borders the driveway which is where most of them will be planted. I asked for the second week of November off (vacation), can plant then.

A bedroom that I use as an office has a large window that opens to the backyard, Below the window is a narrow flower bed that runs almost the length of our cement patio. I have thought of screening in the flowerbed adding shelving for walk ways so my cat could at least go out the window into this screened in area to enjoy the outdoors. Maybe plant a couple large non toxic plants that he can hide in. He would still have access to the inside. I would not feel comfortable letting him out when we are not home, in case someone tries to break in.

OMG - I just googled cat runs and cat enclosures - what an incredible array of cat facilities! Some of these are really high end enclosures. One even has a kitty fountain in lieu of a little pan or something for kitty to drink from. Some of these runs must cost well into the thousands of dollars.

One that particularly caught my eye was a bricked in enclosure with plants, along a sunny side of the house. Kitty could run back and forth on the run, climb up the side, and, well, we know what kitties do when they find plants and all that dirt.

120 irises! I am soooo in envy! And in envy of your strong back as you plant all these irises! Seriously, great find. I didn't think HD would still have bulbs.\
Were you aware that one catalogue company sells on both the retail and wholesale level? I used to buy wholesale quantities for bulbs and retail for plants.

Depending on your zone, I suppose you could probably plant some of the iris in containers for early and mass bloom next year, but I don't know how well they'd last once you transplant them.

Ooohhhh, I'm already getting anxious to plant for next year's garden!

Your neighbor trapped your cat? If he/she did so to protect her/him, I'd support that. But to trap and send a cat to a shelter is cruel. I think this neighbor must be a difficult person to be so hostile to cats.

Last year I saw an amazing structure - someone added a cat run for the family cat. It was literally a room all by itself, with fresh air, runs, cimbing facilities and everything an indoor cat would want if it could run freely outdoors.

I'll see if I can find the links to these; I know it's on my older computer that I still have.

On the subject of bulbs, I bought some Elephant Ears months ago, put them in my car and (duhhh) forgot to plant them, only discovering them when I cleaned the trunk a few days ago.

I know they're tropical and won't winter over, even in a garage. Any suggestions on the best way to winter them over inside? My basement is very, very damp, with a humidity level of 70% even with a dehumidifier on. I've tried peat moss in the past but it just holds the moisture in. Actually, I've never been able to overwinter anything in my basement. I may just have to sacrifice the bulbs to the compost pile.

If my house was larger, I'd plant them in containers, but just don't have the space for these giants.

Good News, LOL!! I found some Iris bulbs of all places...Home Depot (online only)!!. They are Dutch Iris Blue Magic. They come in a package of 120...wow, probably more that I can use, but will find a place for all the them somehow.

I used to let my cat out at his free will with a doggie door, however, he was trapped last year and taken to the shelter. It cost $30 to free him. I now only let him out on my days off work and only during the day. He is 12 years old now, a sweet 17 lb ginger cat. Color is very light actually...buff and white is what the vets call it. I wish I could let him out more but I can't afford to have him trapped by my neighbor (unknown to me) on a regular basis.

I'm really got my feline therapy this week.

I've just seen a beautiful light grey and white cat meandering up from the far end of the garden toward the house. When she was about 15' away, I started calling to her with a cat meow. Even though the windows were closed, she stopped, looked up, and seemed to have heard my call! Amazing, but I've always thought cats are incredibly smart, alert, responsive and creative mammals.

She followed my meows, coming up the house and looking up as if she actually knew the sounds were coming from inside, even though the window was closed. Then as she raised her tail and went into pounce mode, I realized she probably wasn't responding to me but rather the temptation of a tasty meal.

At any rate, I now have a new friend.

Last week I saw another sleek black full grown cat wandering through the back yard.

So far I have as my feline friends and visitors the neighbor's TortoiseShell, a younger less than 1 year old black kitty (their older full grown Maine Coon rarely visits), a full grown black cat, and now the grey and white visitor, who appears to be very pregnant.

Besides enjoying my guests, I do become annoyed that people are allowing their cats to wander around so freely in an area of my community in which there is so much traffic.

Mina, next year you can transplant one or more to a sunny location as a test to see whether or not they turn earlier. It's amazing how much shade can shelter foliage from the sun.