What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

All of these posts are so funny..................I am needing these laughs.

My dad passed in October 2011. Even before he started to show signs of dementia, he would say the funniest things. It was Christmas and I took him to see the Nutcracker, thinking it would be a festive thing to do. About halfway through, he turns to me, mind you without lowering his voice, "Boy they don't do much talking in this, do they?" One of my favorite Christmas memories of him.

My dad also had trouble with names of people, of medications, of just about anything. He was going to have a procedure in the urologist's office so he would pee better. They had given him a valium to take before he got there to help him relax during the procedure. As we are sitting in the waiting room, waiting for them to take him in, he says " I don't think that Viagra is working yet." I said I hope it wasn't Viagra you took this morning or the doctor is going to have a really difficult time today. We both laughed at that thought.

When Mom was alive 3 weeks ago she called me on the phone and tried to leave me a message. She said on the message, "leave a beep after the phone? What phone? I no hear no phone." I heard in the background all the nurses and CNAs laugh out loud and they said, " at the beep, leave a message after the beep." Then Mom hung up. I saved the message for myself so that I can hear her voice. I've saved many messages from her on my iphone for me only.

My mother who has Alzheimer's and is now living with us said to me, "I wouldn't have any problem remembering who you are if you would just quite changing your name!"

My MIL suddenly burst into tears at a recent visit saying she felt terrible. I knelt in front of her wheelchair and took her hands and asked her - "where do you hurt? Where is the pain?" She looked in my eyes and said "I just feel so bad for you ....having to take care of me!"

I had to laugh, she was so sincere, all I could say was "well sweetie you have me there." And we both laughed.

I am so glad that some of you have a great relationship with your mother or dad. I am glad you are doing the bonding I wish I was and she was capable of. I dont have that..if you have it treasure it every day! I dont have it with my kids either. I dont have anything, and I was the one who was always there. Always working behind the scenes to make everything perfect for everybody. Now I am 54 and I have nothing..nothing..I hope it gets better from here..happy holidays to all of you!

ElderlyandADHD, my MIL was a horrible person her entire life. Oddly, the vascular dementia had turned her into a sweet thing. She is just helpless these days. There was a background of truth to this recent bad feeling of hers.

one sunday my sister in law forgot to remove our 91 year old mil's bra when she got her into her pj after church. I didn't notice until helping her into bed that night and since she was so sleepy and had said nothing about it, I decided to let it go. A little while later I heard sounds from the bedroom and went to see what was up. Mil was sitting on the side of the bed with her pants pulled down to her knees. I asked did she need to go to the bathroom ? She said no, she was trying to get her......(i figured out- bra off) She said it is (searching for the word -uncomfortable) inhuman !

My granddaughter lives with us too and every morning comes out showered and dressed for work. This morning mom wanted a shower before breakfast (a first). I helped her and while we were talking I asked her why she wanted the shower so early? She said "I have to go to work!"

My 93 year old Mama is in very good physical health and mostly good mental health. Daddy comes often (he has been dead since 1998) and one time she said, "I just don't know where he goes when he leaves". I responded "heaven" to which she retorted, "Well I'm not going to get to go anywhere because he is going to use up all the frequent flyer miles!"

After my Mom was assessed by a health professional this week I asked her why she answered the way she did(most of her answers were wrong) , she said she was just teasing him!

My Mom who has AZ and is in a NH, told me yesterday to go home, so she could take a nap! I usually sit with her till she goes to sleep and then leave, but she was having none of that yesterday. That's my Momma

my mother was in the hospital with a heart attack and heavily sedated for 6 days. occasionally she would come around enough to ask a question or two. once she looked at the people on her right and pointed at me on her left side and asked if this is jesus. i kinda looked the part with the long beard and bandana that could have resembled a halo. i could have had a little fun with that but she passed out again. i usedta have a female friend who was really preppy and do goody. i always called her " hor " to my mom and son. when id go into moms room and tell her me and hor were goin bike ridin for a while, mom never failed to bust a gut laughing. mom said wed probably get along better if id stop calling her hor. no deal !!

mom went around today wishing everyone Merry Christmas. Everyone was so good natured about it.

My mom is 92 years old in early stage dementia. The other day we were talking on the telephone. We both hung up. A minute later, she called me again and when I said "Hello." She said "P.S.". I said "What?" She said "Post Script. I have something else to tell you."

This question needs to be one of the buttons up at the top. I have laughed and laughed. We all need stress relievers and this is great. I have saved some for when I have a bad day.
Once my grandmother, a minister's wife, was in the hospital for a lung infection. Because she had really bad dementia at that time, they ended up putting her in a lock down floor to keep her from wandering out of the hospital. We went to see her and she was telling us that she was at a women's church convention. Because it does no good to try to convince them otherwise, we just went along with it. A few minutes later she wanted to walk down the hall to the TV room. We all went out into the hall and walking in front of us was a woman with a hospital gown on. Her rear was out for the whole world to see. Mom never blinked an eye. It struck me as really funny that my grandmother thought she was at a church women's convention, but that the sight of this woman's rear never even registered with her.

Sitting and watching the movie "Only You" with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr, set mostly in Italy.....when mom (who was dozing in her rocking chair) heard the singer in a ristorante, she surfaced just long enough to murmur "Does everyone overseas think they can sing?" ...then promptly went back to sleep.

Sitting in the living room with kids and GrMa-in her big chair... GrMa is fidgetting and leaning over.....
G: Hey GrMa, what are you trying to do?
GrMa: Push the button. {doorbell button so we know she wants something = "call button"}
Me: Well, mom we are all right here. You can just say "Hey J" and then tell me what you need.
GrMa: O.K...... Hey, J! Will you come over here and push this button.

Caring for my dad can be humorous sometimes. Tonight I took laundry, and a ring he asked for to the NH. I was about to leave when he wanted to tell me one more thing (he does that a lot). He says (he looked so sincere), "I understand you so much more now that I have the same memory problem as you do, this must be so hard on mom for us both to be so forgetful!" I agreed with him, 29 with Alzheimers.

I love you, you saved my life after she dug her nails into my arm and then told me she hated me. This was funny

I'm loving all these stories but... marthaf I think your Mama is going to get herself a free ticket for making that comment!!! I truely lmao

Mom said a funny today!!! She has refused getting a haircut since she's been a resident at the NH. I was her a hairdresser prior to her admittance. When I was caring for her she was getting her hair done 3 times a week. She has really nice hair too ,wavy but not frizzy. She was a redhead (tinted) but now it's really long and white,Silky and Shiny . Today it was brushed nice and in a Pony Tail to the side hanging over her shoulder. I said your hair is so beautiful and out of hairdresser habit I wanted to touch it. So I lifted the pony tail and ran my hand down to the end. Then... I thought OMG she's going to get angry....when I do things such as this, she usually snaps at me and off she goes, unless I ask her permission first. She didn't seem to mind today, but I said "It feels like my cats tail when I pet his tail." So then I said "do you mind if I pet your tail?" She laugh and said "Oh that sounds Naughty" (think she meant it in a Sexy way) Then Marie Osmond came on TV diet commercial, and to Mom, it looked like she was talking directly to us, I could see how she thought that because of the way the commercial has Marie talking as if you are with her in the same room. So Mom say's she heard you say that. I said "say What? that I wanted to pet your tall!" Mom chuckled again and said "Yes (pointed to the TV) she didn't like it but I still think it sounds funny.!!"

Sometimes I ask my Mom, why do you give me a hard time (doing things for the other siblings like walking, getting her self up, moving around, etc) she says, because it's funny! I can't help but laugh......of course, they do call me (the primary caregiver, the "enabler"!!! LOL

Check this out...

When i was applying for Medicaid for Mom she had an accordion folder with all of her information init...labeled A to Z.

I was looking for her Social Security card and couldn't find it.

After all, if you were looking for a Social Security card, wouldn't you look under the "S" folder? [punch line coming]

When I told her it wasn't there she took the folder from me and immediately found it...under the "I" folder.

I asked her why the "S"ocial Security card was under the "I" folder.

Her answer...drum roll please...

Because it was "I"mportant!!!

Under that logic shouldn't the entire accordion folder have been labeled important?

I couldn't wait to tell you one. I was visiting Mom today and it was sweating (mild exercising mostly...arms) and singing to the oldies time. So during this a man was just wheeled in from his return from the rehab that is downstairs. And the activities girl said "welcome James, and said we are just about to sing." The man looked at her and smiled. It is kind of funny because I have no prejudice but I first noticed that the man had a band-aid holding his glasses together in the middle on the bridge of his nose, my first thought was AWWW he looks like a nerd. Well.... Mom must of thought the same thing.. So then the Activities girl said to him "How about let me call you sweetheart?.."James" meaning the song title ... Mom looks at me and whispered
"Yeah Right...HELLO!!!" then giggled. I knew at her comment she was thinking the same thing I did about him... looking like a nerd... but she thought the girl was calling him a sweetheart. I really wish I could video this stuff it's much better in an eye witness view.

Mom didn't want to take a shower the other day and said it is too chilly to take a shower. I said, No mom, we have a steam shower, you will be nice and toasty. Then she said I can't today because it is my time of the month. She is 93.

I was talking to my Mom on the phone (she still lives alone with the beginnings of dementia and short-term memory loss) tonight to remind her to take some medicine. She had to turn around to get the medicine off the kitchen cupboard. She has horrible arthritis, so she moves very slowly. I asked if she had the medicine yet, and she said: "Just a minute, I have to turn around and I don't have anything on my feet but toes." We both laughed over that one.

Two weeks before my father died, at 95, he failed to recognize my mother (for the very first time) when she arrived at the hospice one morning. She exclaimed, "I'm your wife, Caroline!" He looked at her carefully, and said, "Then I guess I'm a very lucky man."

My mother is 84, has dementia. I just got back from her home giving her some meatloaf and sliced turkey deli meat. It has been usually warm here, in the mid 60's and warmer. Being in my mid 50's, I was wearing a light long sleeve shirt with a tank top under neath. My mother looked at me and said, "Are you expecting?" I said, "What do you mean?" She pointed to my stomache....LOL literally...I said, "I am in my 50's mom, I no longer have the body of a 20 year old." We both laughed...then she said, "Are you still with that man who was here earlier?" (My husband of 36 yrs. had been over earlier to help with taking down mom's vertical blinds for repair). I said, "Yes mom, I am still with him, going on 36 years now and we are not expecting anymore children." I laughed at the cuteness of her questions. Gotta love her!!