My mother and father are separated, not divorced. (We live in WI). My mother has severe emphysema, in her mid-70's and my father, who is the same age, could potentially live another 20 years. We are looking at how to fund long-term, relatively intensive care for my mother---at home or in nursing home. I understand, spending down to qualify for Medicaid would eat into my father's own finances since they are married. I would like my father to consult with someone to look at options, but he seems stubborn, so it's better if I have specific ideas for him.
Does anyone have specific advice, or advice on who to consult---would a case manager (free from the county) be an option...or would an estate planner or similar lawyer (more expensive option) be recommended...
I don't know much about these things, but want to help with ideas of who to talk to or what to do, since this is stressful for me--as I am helping decide the best care option for my mother, and also because I'm not sure my dad is comfortable asking around for advice, or else doesn't know who to ask, or doesn't want to pay for advice...or a combination of all the above.
Thanks to all for any advice or experience.

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my mom had a stroke that left her not able to use her left side so now she can't sit up are walk anymore so right from thehosp they sent her to short term rehab she has now been in for 28 days and she has medicare and medicaid I called medicare and they said she could do up to a 100 days but the rehab wants to take mymothers SSI and half of her SS check because they said that they hve contacted medicaid to see if they are going to make up the difference and they haven't responded yet should I call them myself because I am in Sc and I don't know what changing over to Community medicare and Medicaid is she said that after she wasreleased theywould change it back over and I didn't have to do that in maryland when my mother hurt herself the last time and had to be in rehab for almost 3 months. And she does need to stay in a little longer because they had to put a feeding to tube in her and they are teaching her how to swallow and talk and trying to teach her how to walk again pus she goes to dialysis and because of all this I hd to stop work because I only have my husand and me down here and he has to work so I had to stop work to takecareof her so what should I do about this paying situation. Sew678


Thank you for submitting your question “Can I get paid to take care of my grandparents” on We appreciate your involvement in our caregiving community.

There are two great articles written by editor’s that were already posted in our community. We thought this might answer your caregiving question.

“10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents.”


“How Can I Get Paid for taking Care of My Elderly Parents?”

Hope this helps.

Karie H. Team

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