From Alvadeer Update: another spot of bother!

@Alva

You're strong as nails and will kick cancer's a$$. The media back in the day used to call Margaret Thatcher the 'Iron Lady'. It's you. I'm sending you healing vibes and praying for you (for what it's worth) every day.

Alva, You have two under your belt. You will get through it. Sending hugs.

DrivingDaisy, had two radiation tx. done. Have 14 to go. Thanks for thinking of me.

On the A.C. technical reporting thread, cwillie said, "I'm having issues with the site not working properly on my PC. I've tried in both Firefox and Edge. Anyone else noticing this?". That was 3 hours ago. Hopefully admin is looking into this.?

JoAnn29
Posted 1 minute ago
Alva having trouble getting in. Has somekind page but can't do anything. Anyone else having problems?

Thinking of you Alva 🤗

Alva, how did your week go? One week down. Hopefully things are well.

I think Freida is a keeper. She will comfort you as you go through this ordeal. Never heard of a Chi-weenies before and just googled what they are. What a cute breed! Praying for a good outcome for you.

Yay, Alva and N. Of course you couldn't. She brings such love and joy into your lives and you need that - especially right now. You're doing enough "hard" as it is. Enjoy!!!

Perhaps no surprise to you, but we can't give her up.
Despite knowing we SHOULD, we cannot. So our support system, the Rescue itself, our kids, will have to pick up some slack for us if ever needed; Rescue isn't a problem as they would accept her back into the fold if we crump on her.

Guess Frieda is now a "Foster failure" in that her fosters have failed to be able to give her up. I have long known N. didn't want to. Last night he only said something gently about "This is too hard". But reading Chris and all she wrote, the truth is that we ARE older, and Frieda is at the side or one or the other of us ALL THE TIME, always waggy and sweet and happy and gentle and a comfort. Always enthusiastic about ANYTHING whether it's gardening, walk, dog park or anything other.

Funny that we always thought we COULD do this until it came to looking at what we thought the perfect home, and the reality of it right in our faces. We never kept a Foster for more than a year. It's just too long. You can tell yourself it isn't "family" all you want. But it is.

Don't y'all feel guilty. I think (I THINK) this would have happened even without your input.

Alva, king Charles recently said " The darkest days of cancer, can be illuminated by by compassion from others" something like that anyways.

So we all here are going to try to illuminati, your darker days by sending you much love 💖💞💓

Alva, I agree, dogs will adapt but, they still grieve, especially when they have lost their people.

I have had dogs that were removed from their mama to young and they were more likely to grieve when they were separated from their person.

Glad you have had good outcomes and hope that Frieda adjusts to being removed from her people quickly.

Honey is also a chi-weenie. Hands down, the most lovable, comforting dog we've ever had the pleasure of caring for. She was a rescue from Texas. She stayed by my side during the worst, most painful and scary days and weeks of my life Alva. Please keep Frieda. She will be by your side too as Honey was for me. She'll help you more than anyone or anything else. Petting a dog is like elixir for the soul.

The Kaiser infusion center in Denver is a very relaxing place too. The kindness and laughter that emanates from that large room filled with Windows and sunlight is amazing. It even has a fridge with cold drinks and snacks for patients and families. I had my immunotherapy there as well as all the IVIG infusions.

I know you'll get thru the 16 treatments Alva, you are strong like bull. I keep you in my heart daily, as I will in May. You and N and Frieda will come out the other side of this a stronger family unit as a result. Keep the faith.

Don't worry kids, we have placed about 50 dogs over time through our rescue. NEVER had a single one of them not adapt to their new family. Dogs accept the "pack they are in". Not that when you visit them they don't know you; they DO and they celebrate seeing you again. And we baby sit for many of our fosters when they are in their new homes. We have seen many live for 14 years and move on to the Rainbow Bridge. The owners say when they near our house they begin to whine and celebrate. But when the owners return in two weeks, while they seem gloriously happy when they are with US, they go balistic when the new owner comes. That is a dog for you. Never saw a failure in adapting to new home, and in our rescue we FOLLOW them.

In fact we had ONE foster that we co-fostered with another guy. That was a Carolina Wild Dog name of Jeffrey who was a week with Tobin and a week with us and back and forth all the time between the two households. Jeffrey the dog thought that was the best life ever until he got his new permanent home and he is swimming daily in the swimming pool, and terribly attached to his new mom.

People think that they are attached from you and cannot adjust. And you hear stories, but in all our time in rescue we have never ever seen it go wrong with placing a dog in a new home. That is why rescues are so great, to me. Go to a pound and really you don't know what you're getting. Ours have already failed our county pound which is why they go out to Rescues. We know all about the dog we foster and can tell people their idiosyncrasies. We get them well and happy again. Then on to their forever home.

It is ALWAYS ALWAYS hard. But you get lots of christmas card updates. Without Rescues like ours these dogs who can't adjust to the chaos of the kennels would never be placed. They would be put to sleep. SF Animal Care and Control is so successful that they now go to the central valley to rescue dogs. So that's all part of a whole city working together for the love of animals.

And Golden, Toni's Kitty Rescue for so many years here is just the very best. We have had cats as well. In fact my mostly Siamese Allie was a superb dog trainer. If dogs messed with her she simply punched them out with her nails kept in, and sent them screaming. They didn't mess with cats thereafter, hee hee.

N. is pretty much all dogs all the time. He helps people work with their dogs if they have problems like separation anxiety, fear of people, and so on.
Will let you know. Frieda has already had some interest and no one was good enough for her, ha ha this common little chiweenie. But this is sounding like a match for her. If not I suspect N. won't keep trying after over a year. It is in the hands of the fates, but N. and I are trying to race one another to the last roundup, and the worry of a dog in that mix puts burdens on his children who live nearby and have already their own problems and their own pets.

We will see. People who don't work in rescue all say the same thing, as you can imagine, so you are echoing the world out there!

A friend of mine said the best thing that helped her through her ca days was her little dog. At the end of the day, a good day, a rotten day, the dog looked at her with love 🐶

Alva if freida makes you and N happy I'm gonna agree with with others.

Thanks for the update, we are all rooting for you!! 🙏

NYS is talking about the MAID law again. Will see if it passes, this time around.

💐💐💐💐

I second Geaton's vote - keep Freida. About 8 years ago I thought I had lost my last pet. I was 80 and who sensibly gets another pet at that age? Well, forward a couple of years and R wanted me to take a pair of kittens. So I did. We lost one to predators, but 6 years later, I still have Rocky and I'm so glad I do. She was feral and hostile - we called her Miss Hisser - and we slowly showed her another way. She is a cuddle bug and I am still developing my relationship with her. I don't worry a whole lot about the future. She has become quite social here. The oldest lived cat I ever had was over 16. I figure I've got another 10 years in me - something to live for.

Prayers for the radiation to go well and no blisters or skin problems. Wonderful that Freida can be with you (not in the inner sanctum) and that the sessions are only 20 mins long and that the staff are so friendly and supportive, You will have to be careful cuddling her for a while but she will understand.

Alva, don't you dare let that baby go to another home. She will be miserable. She is doing so wonderfully because she Trusts you two, sending her away now will teach her never to trust again and she will act out.

You and N are her people, period!

Alva, I vote you keep Frieda. Don't worry about whoever has to deal with her "if" anything happens... N will also need her in that case. Others would be there to step in and figure it all out. Frieda will be the most potent therapy for you.

Geaton and RealyReal: And all.

Thanks, I had the first (worst, they say) appointment. The one in which they measure you, mark you, scan you, have you hold your breath, tell you all the dire consequences you face from this treatment (always adding the ".02-.05% chance; I haven't seen it happen" to the dire outcome of heart attack, heart failure, blah blah.
Then you have a SKIN class. I didn't mention the Emu I was all slathered up with already.

I will say this for San Francisco Kaiser. Their Radiation Tx. place, run by one Dr. Song, Harvard education in both anthropology and for his MD, is AMAZING. They say it is state of the art and I believe it, but most of all they have managed a homelike atmosphere of friendly, welcoming people, who treat you like the family member they love best in the whole family.
They have plants everywhere. They talk to you like they've known you for years. They are full of praise for you: "Oh! You can hold your breath better than ANYONE! It's because you PRACTICED. You are going to do GREAT".
Then they show you baskets of knit caps (beautiful patterns) that their "very active knitting group, staff and patients" do. "Take one. Do!"
2 1/2 hours there and I left feeling almost HIGH! Feeling strong and no longer fearful at all.
They definitely have the "secret" to patient care; I'd be so proud to have worked in such a place.

So, treatments start on May 8. They go through to the 30th. SIXTEEN in total, but there are weekends off and Memorial Day. So it will end at the end of the month.
I am reassured that I will be "no more than 20 minutes from coming in the door to going out it; treatment itself 10 minutes." Seems a breeze compared to the marking, molding of arm holder, scanning, practicing, etc that I've already done.

Meanwhile even Frieda the foster is welcomed there. They have dog treats. She wouldn't get to enter the inner sanctum, but can be in the large outer waiting solarium. Or walk on the waterfront with N.

Speaking of Frieda the foster. We've had her for over a year. She's a chi-weenie. She came to us with so many issues: fear of men. Fear of other dogs, inability to go to the park, barking, pulling on leash when walking, etc. But under all of that the sweetest, waggiest, most willing, trainable and enthusiastic. She must have been taken early from litter. Unable to read other dog signals and doesn't know how to play with any toys. She has come a massive long way.
I think she saved N. from a nursing home or worse when he had his October stroke if you remember all that.
And NOW, after all this time, she has the best candidate for new home, ever (after we managed to scare away all others with stories of her "issues").
We want with all our hearts to keep her, but we know we should not. At our ages it isn't wise. It presents one more problem to be dealt with if something "happens", which heaven knows it has and is bound to again.
So after interviews and talks, first meeting with new home and new "sister" this weekend here at neutral place, then at our place.
If she decides if she likes the other dog (and it's unpredictable. She's always polite now, but one half the time "social".). then will be the following weekend at new home which is in countryside of Napa.
Then will have a one week tryout. And she will of course, if things don't go perfectly, always be warmly re-welcomed here.
SHE is a hard one. Of the many we have placed over decades there were five we wanted badly to keep. Three of them we DID keep over time. Now there is Frieda. It's TOUGH! We are very attached. Actually, you could call it love. Wish us all luck.

Alva, every time I read your "spot of bother" it makes me think of Winnie the Pooh, my favorite childhood books (the originals, with the original illustrations). I think Pooh would say, "oh, bother!" On your c journey you certainly could have been an Eeore, but are thankfully more Tigger-ish. Praying for all the best outcomes for you. Bake it and shake it! (((hug)))

Alva, praying that your treatment is 100% effective and you get no blisters.

Good luck! With all the upcoming bother.

beatty -glad to see you back. You've been missed

Alva - all the best for the treatment to come. May the various oils, creams etc do their job well. My dd sailed through radiation with very few side effects, but chemo hit her very hard. I know everyone has their own reactions, Sounds like you have a good plan for the rad days. Continued prayers. 🙏

Beatty,
I am scheduling for around 1 or 2 pm. This gives me the a.m. for the garden and for getting my gut in shape for the afternoon. Gives me a good breakfast. We are about 40" from center, so gives us a pleasant ride to a rather nice area around "old Candlestick Park" and Frieda the Foster can go along. Also good for traffic.
If tired after that, 3 or 4 has always been my time to veg with a stack of books, watch a few favorites on TV and we are both in our 80s early to bed and to rise. So trying to make it as problem free as possible. Have easy Trader Joe throw it in the microwave dinners planned.

I love radio roasting! I am so far referring to it as Flame Thrower to the Chest, and thinking of Lt. Ellen Ripley aiming a blowtorch at Alien babies!
It sounds like your Dad kept humor during it all to the best of his ability, and in ALL these things that we all face in life, that's about the best we can attempt, with the love and support of those we care about, around us.

RealyReal has me buttered up in Emu Oil and the girls on my favorite FB site have me in Jean's Cream. Between the two I am hoping the sunburn doesn't go to blisters. If it does it will be Silvadene cream and a whole lot of whining, which you will ALL have to listen to.

Generally I whine about the fact that time goes so fast in the 80s that it's breakfast every 15 minutes. But this month? I hope it flies by. Thanks for your support. And Beatty, IS it you who created the "There will be no solutions as long as YOU are all the solutions"? I quote it all the time and seem to remember it was you, tho it could have been Glad. Just can't remember. (That or much of anything else anymore!)

Part of the reason I went all silent on the forum for near 6 months was I was the support person for my dear Dad's cancer journey.

The radio-roasting (as he called it) did come with some councelling & also specialised nurses that really understood. Of that we were very thankful. Fatigue was warned so I scheduled morning appointments & blocked out afternoons for quiet relaxation. He did say his innards felt cooked & we joked about burnt sausages.. Better add more prunes & pear juice to the shopping list, he said.

Alva, hopefully being chest height your guts will be just fine.

Alva & Mid, so relieved to see your names still here 🥰

Hey Midkid, I so remember so much of your journey.

I so agree that this is our decision to make, and I think we owe our family our "thinking" on it, but I hope that once they hear us out they will agree to support us in that thinking.

I start radiation workup on Monday. A meet with the doctor who speaks a bit like an A.I. machine, (albeit a brilliant one). Goal with 16 proposed treatments is to do a Ripley-esque (Aliens) flame thrower at chest and nodes. I didn't allow taking/testing of nodes since I will NOT be doing chemo again. And that flaming of the chest simply because this cancer was sending out "satellites" to the skin. While you may be willing to "go" of breast cancer, the skin invasions are to be avoided at all cost if possible.

So that's the plan. And as you say, once you do the CHEMO or the RADS you are never quite the same. I don't know a soul who can claim that. They are roasting you and toasting you and turning you till done with that stuff, and it WILL have consequences.

I saw a psychologist last week, basically because it was offered and I wanted my wishes most certainly scanned to my chart. Was good. Was fine. I liked her and all, but this isn't my first rodeo with cancer, and I am 82. Not really a whole lot to say. Have one more appt with her after the radiation is done, sort of a supportive check in.
But not a lot of surprising or new input nor food for thought.

There are days you feel like pretty much a walking-Cancer-case. You forget about it for five minutes and isn't that the moment the daughter will call with "I was reading this online and........."; it becomes difficult to escape it. Gardening and reading helps tons.
Thanks for checking in on me!!!!!

Alva--Your dark sense of humor has really entertained me for so long!! You remind me of one of my best friends who beautifully handles life, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful with the same grace,, dignity and humor.

I am also a cancer survivor and I have already made the decision that when the big C comes back, I'm not going to treat beyond the most superficial of things.

My kids all know this and they're not happy about it, but it's my choice.

I treated the first time with all my heart and soul. And I beat it, but at such a cost! I have never really felt like myself since. Low level depression, anxiety and struggles with memory (over which my DH tease me incessantly). I had a brand new grandson when I was doing chemo and I wanted to see this guy grow up.

He's 7 now, and I'm no longer his 'favorite person'.

That's just one of a dozen reasons I don't want to take another walk down the cancer path. I'm tired, and I miss my grandmas and grandpas and my daddy. My family will be FINE when I go. I never came back to being 'me'. I miss 'me'.

It's a very personal choice and I applaud you for your strength. I fully believe you will be posting from the other side. :)

I've never posted on this Forum (just lurk), but your remarkable attitude keeps me going! Prayers and good wishes for your healing!

Alva,
I am so sorry to read about return of C.
I was not on forum for a while and catching up on reading but I gathered you are doing better.
Sending good vibes.
We selfishly need your advice!!! A lot!

Beethoven, Doctors and nurses know a lot about what they want and what they don't want. I would say doctors in particular often refuse treatments devised to "prolong life" such as dialysis and so on. I think that in a GOOD SYSTEM (and I consider my Kaiser to be that) your knowledge is respected, particularly about an end of life plan. I have found the knowledge I have to be a huge blessing actually in both my first journey with cancer 38 years ago, and my current one. I'm thankful to have a grounding in medical science.
Whether those in medical make better or worse patients, I am not certain. But you will find few begging to have their doctors "pull the drain; it is bothering me" too early. They fully understand the result of pulling a drain early for a cranky patient. So yesterday, 21 days post op, the last drain is finally out. A brief OWWWWW! (as of all my drains over time--about seven--this one hurt the most) and I can now sleep so much better.

TODAY is the shrink consult. Get all the death and dying stuff scanned on into the charts for when/if needed. Try to come up with anything I can to whine about (not much). It was offered so I took it.

Next step will be radiation therapy. TENTATIVE plan is workup starting the week of the 28th so next week. That is the part I like least so far in all this. I am pretty good with surgery, pretty bad with the thought of getting somewhere at the same time very day for 16 days and ending with the sunburn from hell and a potential platter of complications in old age.
I am currently slathering my chest with RealyReal's suggested emu oil. Sad for the poor emus, but I love the stuff. Healing is going super well. Would bath in it if I could afford to.

Had great phone consult with a wonderful doc from oncology who offered up all SORTS of chemos; I won't be doing chemo at 82 and already made that decision but she did offer to follow me along with my surgeon, do exams every three months, etc. and is such a delight I will definitely take her up on that after radiation is done.

Kind of feel I am LIVING at Kaiser and should just be given a cot and a cell in the office building, but that's becoming a bit less, and I am grateful.

And on we go.