FROM ALVADEER: Just a spot of bother. Don't worry!
I have outed myself on SP's posting about her Sister's current problems, so may as well give you all the facts as they stand. Had intended to wait till I knew more, but alas...
As most of you know I am 81 and a "uni" since cancer took my left breast away 35 years ago. At that time no one, including the mammo machine could find the tumor, but adenocarcinoma of the breast was found in an "olive pit" (without the martini) in the underarm (Docs at the time had told me it was nothing but lymph nodes draining something and I had said "I don't care; I want it out."
On biopsy it was two infected lymph nodes fused together. After mastectomy all other nodes were clear. So that was my 1988 (when Cher did Moonstruck, the movie that got me through it all).
I did chemo at that time, and refused radiation. Have walked the world an Amazon since. The ORIGINAL kind.
Well, looks like "it's baaacccckkkk". Found a lump in the L breast a few weeks before Christmas. Scheduled the testing to start just after the new year. To bring you up to date a "very suspicious" lump shows clearly on Mammograms and on ultrasound. I would stake a lot of money on it's being a clone of the Alien. It's irregular to palpation.
So here's the plan.
Kaiser wants a hollow core needle biopsy. I won't do it. I admit to a bit of PTSD re former torture chamber activities, but real reason is that new studies on "seeding" via punching holes in tumors and allowing the contents to leak into your tissue and spread are concerning for me (the only studies are on prostate needle biopsies; go figure).
It is to me counter-intuitive to take an encapsulated malignancy and stick hollow core vacuum needles into it and allow its contents to hemorrhage into your breast. Thence through your system via nodes. While you wait patiently for the lab to tell you what you pretty much already know.
Those of you who have had the procedure and the concomitant "bruising and swelling" may know what I mean.
I have requested a mastectomy on the left, instead, no matter WHAT this mass tests out to be. I don't trust a bit of needlework to say it's OK, and leave it there. I want it off, just as I wanted those nodes OUT.
Medicare doesn't cover mastectomy without biopsy for cancer dx. first; won't cover the removal of breast prophylactically I am told. Though there are some laws about insurance covering a woman with a history of mastectomy on one side --regarding a right to symmetry--they don't pertain to medicare. I may be looking at self-pay, which is OK.
So this is currently the beginning of a bit of a skermish with Kaiser. Hopefully not a war. Because overall I find them quite kind.
I don't intend, positve or negative, to do any chemo or radiation. I am 81 and I am WELL READY, and I have worked hard for the passage of right to die Compassion and Choice laws for my state. I would make good use of them, and all the other GOOD DRUGS and do so until "the end of the saga". Though with the GOOD DRUGS heaven knows what my AC posts would be?
I am not scared (other than of needles that are hollow core punches, hee hee). I am OK. I am thrilled with 35 years cancer free after my first fight. My daughter was only just raised my first bout, and I was only 1 year in my relationship with my current partner.
My family is fully informed and fully on board with my choices. I am having heavy metal armor forged to do battle with the medical system, and a part of me loves to fight (as you are aware).
I want none to worry. We ALL have our "stuff". We all know what it is to walk the walk.
I will update you WHEN I know WHAT I know, and what steps I will take.
Always remember what I always tell folks on AC. No one writes the obituary for an 81 year old and hears "Oh dear, died soooo young!!!"
Tombstone epitaphs gladly accepted. But my latest choice is "Does this mean I don't get to watch The Bishops Wife next Christmas". Only kidding. Not having a tombstone, much as I love them.
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If they find even dcis in your remaining breast, they’ll be pushing you As to what you want. No hollow core biopsy will cause any cancer to go Mets.
I am 100% behind your choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a friend whose DH had kidney cancer, and yes, the hollow core biopsy they did tracked little cancer cells all along it's outward journey. The cancer returned with a vengeance. She said you could 'connect the dots' on his scans and see exactly where the needle had gone.
He fought a good fight, but did die after about 5 years of treating (and fighting with insurance co!). She is sure that had they known more, they would have done their research better.
I had a 'fine needle' biopsy of one of my cancerous lymph nodes. Not a hollow core. Then the whole node was removed about a week later.
For me? It was the bone marrow tests that were the absolute worst. They just numb the hip region and then by brute force, work a screw type needle into the hip bone (I think actually the ileac crest?) I screamed, and I am NOT a screamer. I thought my DH was going to pass out. 2nd time around, they gave me a fentanyl lollipop--OMG!!! Ask for those when you have to be stabbed. It still hurts, but you really don't care.
I am wishing you luck as you navigate this. You are tough. You are smart--you'll make the decisions that will be best for you.
What a way to start a new year, right? Suddenly things just jump into perspective in a way that they didn't before. You know, b/c you've done this before.
I will keep you in my prayers--even tho I know you're not into praying :) Can't hurt, right?
I'm not having a tombstone either, but if I did, it would say "I TOLD YOU I was sick" on it.
Dark humor helped me cope. So did fake eyelashes and eyebrow pencil.
See if you can start the good drugs ASAP. :)
((HUGS))
Believer or not, I love your spirit!
I was raised to have faith. Honestly now, I have no idea how I feel or what I believe. I suppose that I could be described as agnostic.
Faith is based on believing without seeing. Science looks at facts. I’m the person who wants to see proof! 😝 So, not sure what that says about me.
I agree with you on not wanting to experience pain. I am a wuss when it comes to pain.
Hoping with all my heart that everything goes well for you but if not, hoping that you have access to the very best meds so that you won’t be in any pain whatsoever.
In 1978 I had two needle biopsies at the same time. I was in my early 40s (a few months after I married my current--and last--husband). Ouch, for sure! Having lost my mom to cancer in 1974, I got lucky in that both biopsies were negative, but there's a 99.9% probability I would not do it again. And that was WAY before the issue of potential seeding (which makes sense to me) was discovered.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, now.
I appreciate your sharing with all of us.
You continue to inspire with your no-nonsense, well thought out, well-researched approach.
We all continue to learn from you.
You are a blessing to all of us.
May you feel loved and supported in this part of your journey. 🩷
I know that you're not a believer in God or Jesus, but you know that I am, so I will be keeping you lifted up in my daily prayers and trusting for your total and complete healing.
Please keep us updated on how things are going. Will most certainly keep you in my thoughts.
Sending love your way today!
I had a biopsy right after I gave birth to our second daughter. I was scared to death. Fortunately, the mass was benign.
As far as MDs and their "a little pressure" you and Chuck are more than aware what we all go through with them negating the pain. I have seen women have core samples taken who didn't mind it a bit. And I have seen them end up hours later in the ER with breast hemorrhaging blood and swelling and bruising. It runs the whole continuum. But my FAVORITE STORY EVER regarding breast biopsies is the doctors that admitted they vied with one another for the most colorful swear words they heard that week. BLESS THEIR LITTLE HEARTS, huh? Hee hee.
My mom had her first mastectomy when I was 5 years old. Very difficult for her with young children. She had her second breast cancer when she was 63. It was a small lump and the doctors suggested lumpectomy. She wanted it off. So, second mastectomy.
She embraced the new found freedom and lived 31 years with that freedom.
I am sorry you are facing this. Keep us posted as you know more.
We care about you, our friend!
Don't forget about the appeal process thru Kaiser, if need be.
Sending you love and hugs and knowing your fiestiness will get you thru this situation too. Not w/o some anxiety and nerves, but you'll come out the other side just fine.