It is so easy for people from the outside looking in to reply to your burnout or exhaustion with the typical "Just say NO". Or just make someone else help, or just make her do more for herself. I would love to be able to tell my MIL and her son's "No" I cannot do that, or "No" I need a night off and have it mean something. My MIL has end stage pancreatic cancer that is also now in her liver and spleen. She recently took what I expect to be the turn for the worse. I had Hospice bring in a hospital bed, put her on oxygen, and have increased her pain meds and Xanax (makes her easier to deal with). So over the past week, while trying to take care of work, my kids, my house, myself - I have received phone calls from my mother and my friends all getting on my case for not just saying "NO" and forcing my husband, his brothers and family to help more. Like I really need to be lectured by my support system for not trying? I have a SignUp Genius page and have for months, I cannot even get someone from his family to sign up to bring dinner over once a week let along cover for me when I need a night out. I beg and plead with my MIL's family to come over and visit so I can get a break, I use Facebook and Caringbridge to ask for help. But it doesn't change anything. I don't need MY small support group getting on the phone with me and accusing me of not doing enough. What - I am suppose to just leave my house and my MIL to fend for herself? I don't even want to take to anyone anymore because they all have their wonderful opinions on how I am doing it all wrong.
I just don't know how to deal with anyone anymore. My MIL, my husband, his family, my friends and my family. It is only adding to the isolation I already feel.