One overriding theme for all of us is guilt. My rabbi told us it is a truly hurtful thing to feel guilt. Remorse is different, because you are taking responsibility for a mistake that may have hurt another person. Apologize in the best possible way, up to three times if you have to. Make sure you have learned how not to repeat your mistake. Then let go of the guilt and get on with being a better you.
What brought this on? Mom is 94, frail with dementia. Her health is stable but as we all know that can change instantly. My daughter lives in another country and is in a high risk pregnancy. I will be leaving next week for an unknown period of weeks to take care of my grandchildren until mom and new baby are safe. If anything happens to Mom, I can't come back.
The rest of the family knows I am leaving and might not see Mom again. I certainly can't be her primary decision maker/care supervisor. I will try to video chat with her daily, and if I am not there then life (or death) will have to go on without me.
It is easy to feel torn and guilty about leaving Mom. I am her rock since Dad died. I talk to her caregivers daily, arrange medical care, talk to her doctors, check on her multiple times/day, spend at least an hour each day on the phone and video chatting, drop over multiple times/week to give her a hug or bring her a treat, etc.
Does Mom understand she might never see me again? I doubt it. If she did, she would tell me to take care of the children, that she will be OK.
I am sad about leaving her but do not feel guilty about it. None of us should feel guilty - we are all doing the best that we can in difficult situations.