For those of you "Holding the Bag"- Words of commiseration...

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I love coming on here knowing I am not the only one...... Last week my father passed away after my husband and I helped him for 28 years, I cared for him for 9 years. I am grateful that he was peaceful for the last few months and passed on gently.... However, for about the last decade, I would try to be "professional" or "open" or whatever we may label it. I asked for input, comment, opinion from siblings....and got little to no feedback. And then when I get the logistics of the funeral put together, the snarky remarks start coming! ARGH! What? So now I have survived piles of relatives, too much food...and I am left feeling angry instead of peaceful myself. I stumbled onto a quotation from Albert Einstein, no less, that for the last several days had kept me from going bat s.... crazy. I want all of you in the same boat to grab a sticky note and copy this down....I PROMISE this will come in handy later..... Weak People Retaliate, Strong People Forgive, Intelligent People Ignore. I am not feeling strong enough yet, but do feel the potential to be smart!! Hang in there all you folks! Have a great week!

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Mincemeat- very sorry for your loss, I know how difficult it is.
May God help you through this part of the journey.
Thank you for the quote, I will keep it in my heart.
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Sorry Mincemeat for your loss. Thanks for this post. I will remember
"Weak People Retaliate, Strong People Forgive, Intelligent People Ignore". My current situation with my ailing parents and dysfunctional sister is horrible and this site and posts like yours are my life raft.
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I am immensely grateful this site came to my inbox. Looking for help, inspiration, hope and every other positive incite to help me in my journey for making the best decisions for the care of my husband. From depression, through psychiatry and drugs--which only made it worse--to dementia it has been difficult to say the least. It is so comforting to know how other very compassionate people are helping their loved ones.
MM you have done the very best and never let down to care for another human being, your father. Thank you for your story. You give me courage. I hope I can have that much love.
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Sorry for your loss. I have Been lucky. Good or bad my brothers left me to do. Blankie, very well said.
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Mincemeat, I’m very sorry for your loss. I also think you for the great quote. I have no doubt of my need to commit it to memory as like so many others, I completely understand the sibling muck and mire. You absolutely are smart, you get to have the memories others won’t, and my wish for you is that you do get to come to that longed for peace, and sooner than you think
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Wise words, Blannie. I'm going to keep them on my inspirational cards for the next time I have to deal with a disgruntled sibling, which unfortunately has already started.
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Mincemeat, I am sorry for your loss. You had the honor and privilege of knowing and caring for your father. He trusted you. Your siblings don't have that. That's something to hold on to. You were there when your dad needed you and you did what a loving child would do. Hugs to you. And phooey on your siblings. I'm not strong enough or smart enough to give them the benefit of the doubt.
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Mincemeat, I too am sorry for and saddened by your loss, and even more so that the non participating sibs have come out of the woodwork. I hadn't seen you in some time and wondered where you were.

Don't forget who was at your father's side when he needed help. I sometimes think these nonparticipating siblings cause a ruckus to either overcompensate for their lack of involvement or to shift the post-death focus away from them, since they weren't part of the caregiving team.
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I am new here... your post struck a chord. I wrote the quote down and thank you for it. My situation is a bit similar with my mom, but she hasn't passed away. I'm sorry for your loss and hope someday your family will recognize your devotion.
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Mincemeat, I'm so very sorry for your loss!. Love the quote.

Be at peace, my friend.
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