Do you find some things difficult to do?

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When I first started full time care for my mum I brought in and paid for carers to give her a bath but they did such a shoddy job I stopped them coming - no point in having a dog and barking yourself is there. HOWEVER I found it incredibly difficult to physically touch my mum - its not something we ever did I had never been kissed by her in my living memory and I found that awful too. So you can imagine (or not if you're the insensitive sort) how distasteful I found it to have to clean her nether regions or lift her breasts up to wash and dry under them. Made worse because it was almost as though she sensed my disgust and wanted me to cream her lower groin area or put petroleum jelly around the anal area. I gritted my teeth, donned the obligatory surgical gloves, did it and went up and vomited - I couldn't help it. At one point I wanted to commit suicide rather than do this and when she got an impacted bowel and doctors would not come out (I live in UK so things are slightly different here) I had to manually disimpact her and that was gross. Time marches on though and now 2 years on I can manage to do it without disgust; the feelings of hopelessness have gone but I am known to my family as the mutterer for when it all gets a bit much I mutter terrible obscenities as I walk out the door. Mum doesn't know and I feel so much better for the mutterings. I won't ever say them out loud and they are unprintable here but suffice it to say ffs happens to be the most likely one.

Do i feel guilty? I used to ... now I accept that it is my way of coping and I though I ought to share it on here. Don't get me wrong I love my mum I just don't like her but then we have never liked each other and when I was little she always said she wished my brother had lived and I had died. Odd how 58 years on I would so love to remind her of those words but of course I won't.
Then today through her grumpiness and vile temper she said to me noone else could care for me like you do...So I made a joke and said am I that bad? No she said you are just like the daughter I always wanted not like the one I got. That will teach me to fish for compliments!!!!

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My Mother was very modest like me,so when she broke her neck and needed hhelp.we both just had to get through it but I felt like I was in her private space where I didn't belong and had never been before.As much as she hated for me to take care of this part,she was brave and I went as fast as I could.For the last year atleast,I put a suppository in her everyday.By the end we even made jokes about "down there" but it's hard and you just have to get through it if you can.
You're Mother is lucky to have you Phoenix!And I know your Dad must be very proud.
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Hello. On the threshold of the gamut here.
This early on, I would advise myself to back off, short visits are best, don't see what I see, not my job, not able.
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Hi Glad! Thanks for the tip! How long has your mom been using it? Is it helping?
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Just found this thread. LOL! Premarin cream. My mom, too was prescribed it because of recurrent UTI's. Finally told the doc it was too difficult for Mom to use. Noperino, I am not going there either! Well, have no fear! There is an oral estrogen that can be prescribed called Osphena! So, Mom's doc wrote a prescription for that. Thank you, doc! Thank you Shionogi (the big pharma)! Sometimes even they do good things!
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Mallory Im am in Great or not so Great Britain depending on your perception or in my case day of the week. Having been up sorting stuff till 3:25 this morning She cam in shouting and screaming at 6 am because I hadnt done this that or the other, she had been up for hours (Hmph 2 at most) and she had had certainly since 3 oclock, a wet pad on . (Anyone remember the song theres a hole in my bucket - if not google it its quite funny and when you have then you will understand why I wanted to reply - then change it dear mother dear mother dear mother, then change it dear mother dear mother, change it). Then she had a headache - but you didnt take the painkillers I left you, then it was on to the pee and poop. I havent had a poop - you refused the laxido - it hurt when I wanted to poop, thats because you refused the laxido, I need you to sort it, aint gonna happen I will take you to A&E - its not that bad - oh really you just said it was.....I was only joking. Now her foot hurts and she cant walk - but you just did walk with the rollator over the full length of the room......Well I cant walk without it....you couldnt before said as I raise my hands in typical Jewish desperation style. Isnt it odd that I am the only one in my family that does that and that I am also the only one whose natural mother IS Jewish. I was was raised Anglican - no wonder Im mixed up
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At 1 a.m when I have to work in the morning.
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Nothing like a temper tantrum from a 76 year old with dementia.
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Mom banging on bed and hollering "somebody help!". Told her it is bedtime and she needs to stay in bed. No. Says she is going to yell until she gets what she wants. Gonna be a fun one.
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3.25 in the morning? Where in the the world are you? At that time even the sheep are asleep, everywhere I hope.......
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Right now it is 3.25 in the morning and I am wide awake realising I am forgetting I need the bed railoh and her bloody koala and..... ok count sheep Judith you can do this one sheep two ewes 3 rams 4 tups wide awake!
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