I am so sick of arguing and fighting with my 87 year old mom about eating. I am going to keep on shopping and helping her the way I have been, but if she wants to skip meals and eat things that aren't good for her, so be it. The stress and unpleasantness of the arguing is not good for either of us, and she can outlast me in stubbornness. I can't do it anymore. She now has forgotten how to use the microwave so I will get one that is easier to use. If she doesn't want to eat, and winds up in the hospital, so be it. It is her choice.

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I agree with the above comment. My Mom lost a lot of weight recently, so her doctor told her to gain 5-10 lbs. at least. He told me to let her "bulk up" on anything that is high calorie (but not junk food). So I buy her whole milk and heavy cream. She uses these in her instant mashed potatoes and puts butter on them too. She makes hot chocolate at night with cream and milk - the hot chocolate also helps her to relax. I tell her to put butter on her bread...I by her cinammon raisin toast. She likes yogurt and this helps her swallow her pills. She loves sweet treats and fruit - I try to choose the best ones.
Is there anything in particular your Mom likes? Just have alll those things ready for her and leave her to choose.
From reading other posts on this site, it is the parents just exercising their independence and authority. Your Mom might just enjoy seeing you struggle to try and get her to eat. So, I think you are doing the right thing by backing off. Maybe when she sees that you are giving in, she will eat on her own. Unless there is some physical issue, she will get hungry eventually and have to eat.
Like you don't have enough to do!......

My dad's microwave has a "quick on" button, you push it then the 1 for 1 minute, etc. When he was still able, he had problems with it so I put some textured tape in a bright color so he could see and feel the buttons. Worked like a charm!
The last time my dad was in rehab hospital, one of the nurses told me "at 82, he can eat whatever he wants. and the more calories the better. If he wants ice cream for dinner and nothing else, then he can have ice cream"

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