as you know my MIL has passed away recently. i feel that my husband is taking it extremley hard as i knew he would because they were very close. i am concerned that he is going into depression. it's going on week 3 and he not going back to work. he refuses to talk to me ecept when he is in one of those moods and he starts snapping. i am trying to be as patient and understanding as possible but my patience is starting to wear thin. i was one of the caretakers while his mother was sick and tried to tell him what is going on with her. so i don't know if what he is going through is out of guilt becuase he did not want to face the reality of her condition. he refuses to talk about it and i don't want to force him. but i am tired of feeling like i am walking on eggshells around him too.i don't know what else i can do for him at this point.

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I just discovered that you have to cut and paste the link above to get it to work. It may be that the link will disappear soon. If it does, let me know and I'll send it to you.

. Three weeks is not very long, but I know you are concerned about the depth of his grief and his ability to function. I have seen grief in many people and know how different it can be. Some people rebound almost immediately. Others go into a long, but gentle grief. The ones that most concern me is when profound grief lasts for more than a year and interfere with a person's ability to live. The two instances I have seen this have been for mothers who lost sons.

There are wonderful grief support networks in many communities. Perhaps you can find a good one for yourself, then work with your husband. Listening and talking to other people who are struggling with grief may help a lot. Often "ordinary" people are uncomfortable dealing with death and grief. Someone who understands what your husband is feeling with have softer shoulders to lean on.

I hope he finds the strength to get through this period of deep grief. You are wonderful for wanting to help him.

Judging from what you have said, he might not be agreeable to this, but it appears that counseling might help him deal with his grief. Our church has groups for this kind of thing and also the local hospital might I be able to help. I am sorry that you are going through this and understand why your patience is wearing thin. Dealing with the passing of a parent is different for everyone.

It would help him so much if he would open up to you. Perhaps the passing of time will put him in a different perspective. Actually, returning to work would be good and keep his mind busy. But, apparently he is too grief stricken and is in a depression.

Would he even go to his primary care physician and possibly get on some medication for the depression? I know you have probably already considered all of these options. Many people are against talking to a professional as they feel uncomforable and this is understandable - but sometimes we all need help dealing with certain issues. Hope things improve, meanwhile take care of yourself as well - this is hard on you too. Take care.

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