I'm feeling burned right now because my oldest sister called and left me a message to ask me about my grandmother's "procedure" and how did it go? Well, what procedure? Though I've been the one there for her for years (not blaming this sister, she did have her hands full with her own family and looks from time to time to be in contact with the grand), and lately been asking my grandmother about what's going on now, she keeps tight lipped when it comes to me, it seems.
Granted, I did tell her I was upset with her for letting the in-home aides end after her emergency hospital stay almost two months ago, and said it because she needs to speak up about what she needs instead of insinuating it to me who HAS to go to work and school (stressing that word because no one in my family is really getting it), and she became upset with me. But while I couldn't be there for this Mother's Day because of school work, I sent a big bouquet of flowers and a card and always calling to see about her. But instead I feel like the villain.
I did tell her yesterday that she should think about what she needs to do next. Since she is still independent, her POA is my other sister who lives out of town and avoids discussing this topic, that is all I feel like I could say. I am also presently trying to get in touch with an Elder Attorney for free advice, while getting all my own stuff together; I have to deal with finals coming up among other things and trying not to get too distracted.
And now, I'm also hearing this sister who called about the procedure is also going in for hip surgery tomorrow (once again, they are leaving things blank for me to fill in at the last minute); so though she said I could count on her, of course I can't right now. Everyone in the family keeps doing that "you can count on me" number while all the while trying to pin me to everything, and I'm sick of it. I made it clear to this sister already that I cannot be the focal point of everything, yet she calls as if I am supposed to automatically know what's happening. No, I do not, because grandmother did not divulge it to me, though I keep asking what's happening.
So, what to do? Because I'm seriously getting fed up with this cycle and I have my mother too, who will be on my case soon enough for her own issues. If I let go of my own, it will be an even bigger fire and I really won't be able to help in any capacity trying to fix something I shouldn't have to stop. And why should I if my own grandmother who I never took anything from and only given to, doesn't trust me to tell me what's happening? On top of that they should see by now they need to get things going as far as planning for their care and stop this cycle. Why don't they see it?
There's more to it that feels like it is coming to a head from over the years mostly due to personality issues and traditional beliefs, but I just feel like I can't even see or think straight after awhile with all this happening that really comes out of emotions. Trying to hold strong to not make any hasty decisions based on that.