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My father has dementia - still at home with carers 4 x a day. The dementia is not advanced and at times I feel he puts on the confusion when I visit as the carers note they have had lovely chats and laughs. He lives in the lounge - hospital bed and commode - the carpet is heaving stained as he is incontinent. I feel I may as well be sat in the bathroom when I visit.I do not have a partner and find the visits draining and depressing.My sister (who I have a poor relationship with) visits with her partner which is a totally different experience as there is more conversation and emotional support. I have suggested we visit together but she does not want to do this.I feel isolated and so lonely Dad's brother recently passed away who I was very close to. My sisters partner went to the funeral to support my sister but had never met my uncle - I did not go to the funeral out of principal as I felt it should have been me and my sister supporting each other but she would not even do this - I would have been sat on my own and just could not face it.

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@ravensdottir Thank you for your kind words. I am reaching out to co workers and friends who have lost loved ones and can emphasise. I accept now that I will not get this from my sister. I paid my respects to my uncle by going to churrch and lighting a candle. We both have POA (Finances not health) for Dad but my sister has taken lead with all of the finances. She has his bank card and does his shopping and pays all of the bills etc. I have suggested new flooring and can get a quote. She is very controlling and if I suggest anything she becomes very defensive. I work in social care and again when I suggest anything or give any advise she becomes very defensive and be littles me as though I am stupid, she hates it that this is my field of knowledge. To avoid any conflict I made a referral to assign a social worker so she can liaise with them rather than me - that is how bad things have become!
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Sometimes the truest sisters are not the ones our parents had but the ones we choose. Find those sisters from co-worshipers, co-workers, people with whom you engage on a regular basis, or even extended family. These are the ones who will hold your hand, lend an ear and a shoulder.

Who oversees Dad's home/finances/medical? It's up to them to keep the house sanitary. And the carers - is cleaning a part of their duties? If not, they shouldn't be so passive about the unsanitary conditions but should do *something* - report it so something can be done about it - hire a cleaning service or a contractor to refloor the room as someone else suggested. Just do... *something* to prevent unnecessary sickness caused by that germy floor.

I hope you took time for a private memorial for your uncle. You shouldn't have to grieve alone, so find a support group for caregivers and one for bereavement. Build your circle of support so that you can give and receive encouragement and laughter, feel heard, and feel loved. Reach out for it.

Best wishes to you.
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Yes Sunny those of us with out real supportive siblings or a Partner do feel Like Lost children with out a family so you Have to rebuild a whole new world and make a new Family of friends . My Dad and I were best friends too . I No Longer feel I have a Biological family . I have a son and grand children but they Live 550 Miles away . Make Travel Plans for the future . Sisters on the Fly ( Woman who camp together ) Blue spirit Costa Rica - they have holistic workshops , Find some womans groups , Hiking groups - go to meetup.com . Start Envisioning your future . I am In in that Place . I definitely feel the way I did as a Teen ager - I have to create a new world Now and another chapter of my life .
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This is true. I always thought family would have my back and vice versa but clearly not. My dad always used to have my back and I guess now he has dementia and so frail he is no longer there and although I am a 52 year old woman I feel like a lost child in the world.
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You will have to pursue new relationships . Dont count on your sister she is telling you by her behaviour she doesnt want to be Bothered . Find new friends , Join a Community center , find new Hobbies , get a Therapist , take a Yoga class . I think for some of Us when our parents pass there isn't much of a Family Unit left and those of us single feel like orphans . Get a small dog they can bring you more Love than a human . I Like Westies .
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It seems that you have no question for us, really, which is good, because we cannot speak really to familial relationships that have formed over a lifetime of contact. It is sounding as though your father's needs are for the most part taken care of at this time, and it seems you are not in charge of placement, costs, other matters as a POA?
It may help if you, or whomever is in charge, can convince dad to remove carpeting which is holding in odors and ruining floors. Putting down waterproof flooring covering can help with cleanups if your father is staying in place in his home, and a discussion with caregivers about incontinent wear might help.

As to a support system, some of us are more social by nature (I am not) and those of us who are often have a better support system in tough times. The same holds true of any faith based community where there is a long of personal interaction and caring. You will need to consider way in which you can form such a system, and a few sessions with a good cognitive counselor on ways to attempt this might be a good idea. There could be some depression involved for you, and sometimes a try at low dose anti-depressants can form a bridge over tough times that help you in reaching out.

I wish you the best. Stay on AC and read and you will understand you aren't alone in suffering.
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When I visit my mom, I always bring my "bag of tricks" that can engage and entertain her if the visit starts going stale.

I only bring out one thing at a time. When she loses interest in that, I bring out something else. The one good thing about dementia is that you can recycle and not have to bring all new things every visit.

My bag of tricks include photographs, music, treats, funny internet videos, magazines, interesting objects, etc. When showing things, say "What do you think of this?" rather than "Do you remember this?"

Think about what used to interest your father and tailor your bag of tricks to that.

Play music that was popular at the time your father was a teen/young man. Sometimes that will spur conversation, or you can just sit quietly and let him listen.

Ebay is a great place to buy old magazines cheaply. Did he have any hobbies? Look for magazines about those.

I bought my mom a bird feeder, and that has given her a lot of entertainment. I spend part of each visit refilling the seed or fiddling with it in some way, and that always spurs conversation with her telling me about the birds and squirrels who visit it.
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