My husband, 52, was diagnosed with brain tumors. Because of complications after surgery, he has trouble walking, has off and on double vision and sleeps alot. He has had chemotherapy and is now getting radiation therapy. 4 more rounds of chemo are scheduled afterwards.
My mother,79, has end stage COPD and has spent more time in hospitals these past 3 years than at home. She has now decided to go into a nursing home. My father,82, had 2 strokes last year and tires easily. He has been caring for my mother with the help of home health care and me.
My in-laws live in the USA, both are in poor health and have just left the hospital again.
We live in Europe. I have no family but an exceptional circle of friends which have come together to support us.
And yet....I feel like I'm drowning. Between caring for my husband, supporting my father, maintaining the house, garden and our 3 loving dogs and now preparing for my mother's transite into a nursing home; I feel like I am walking down a path all alone...

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I meant to say: ... so that you can remain engaged and not disconnected, but I guess sometimes it is good to take a break also

One day at a time. There is only so much one can do in a 24 hour day and then you need to sleep and prepare for the next day. Often it takes a team of people to address these issues, so the best thing you can do is take care of your health so that you can remain engaged and disconnected. Good luck, and hang in there and rest!

Well, you are not alone, Pjackson, but my goodness! Your world is crashing down around you and you have every right to feel that way. Just reading about it sounds overwhelming.

Most adults lose their parents and their parents-in-law, one by one. And half of all married couples lose a spouse. Many of these deaths are preceded by periods of illness. I think what makes your situation even more overwhelming than ordinary is that so much of this is happening all at once, and that you need to have an active role in all of it. And distance complicates things!

No matter how well you cope and how strong you are I don't see how you could avoid moments of feeling the world crashing down. Be gentle with yourself. Don't have unrealistic expectations of what you can do.

Your husband would not be going through these treatments if there isn't a good chance of greatly improved functionality. Be hopeful. Focus on the future while you take his care day by day.

Do your in-laws have relatives in the USA? Any that can take an active role in their care? If circumstances were different your husband would probably be very involved in long-distance caring. With all you have going on, don't assume you can fully take over that role.

Your mother going into a nursing home is a sad milestone, but will increase her chances of being comfortable and well-cared for while freeing you and your dad up a bit.

I guess I'm trying to point out a few glimpses of land here and there. You will not drown! A professional counselor can also help keep you afloat. Have you considered that?

And maybe, just this year while you are being pulled in so many directions, somethings will have to give. Maybe your housekeeping standards could drop a bit, and you can hire cleaners. Maybe the garden can't be as spectacular this year, and perhaps you can hire much of that work done. (Save the fun parts for you!) Nobody can comfort your father like you can. Nobody can care for your husband as you do. But there are lots of other things you could temporarily hire out, to support your focus on your family.

And (this is a hard one for most of us) when your friends say, "What can I do to help?" TELL THEM! Have a list ready in your mind. "I would love it if you could bring over a pot of your famous chicken stew." "I need someone to stay with Hubby while I take Dad to visit Mom. Could you do that Thursday or Friday?" Keep the tasks limited and suited to the friend, but realize that most people really mean it when they say they want to help. (I want to come over and make dinner for you tonight!)

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