not sure what to do, its getting hard to care for my LO. If I hire someone to come in I could only afford day time care so that wouldn't help me at nights when sometimes he gets up and is delusional. I have found what I believe to be a nice place that does 24/7 dementia care but now I am feeling guilty about the idea of him living somewhere like that. I am a senior myself but healthy and active altho no longer able to do the things I used to do while caring for him. He is finding it difficult to walk safely and his dementia causes him to forget that this is his home and I am his wife. My family all feel its time to place him and everyone is busy so no help there. I am going to feel so guilty and worried if he is somewhere else but on other hand my nerves are bad and my life is a mess anyway :(
I found a wonderful place for Dad who was still very clear minded but with sundowners. By moving him when I did, he was still able to learn his way around the facility, learn the names of the Staff, and he liked the extra attention he was getting like physical therapy, and he loved the meals. He said he wished he would have moved there years earlier.
I am also a senior myself with my own age decline, so having Dad move has slowly put me back on track of feeling better, as it had become so emotionally exhausting. It was nice going back to being "the daughter", instead of one of his caregivers... whew.
Would it be possible for you to spend a little more time getting familiar with the memory care unit you have in mind, and adjusting to the idea of your husband's moving there?
It is going to be a wrench, I'm afraid, even so; but for the sake of *both* of you you have to be practical. Change is inevitable in the end, but if things deteriorate while your husband is living with you and you are his primary caregiver then that change could be risky for both of you. The sooner your husband moves, the more time you will both have to benefit from professional support in a secure setting.
Ask the staff if you can visit a few more times. If they're welcoming and friendly, that in itself will help set your mind at rest. Please update us, hugs to you.