I don't feel comfortable when the home health care aide comes in my home to bathe my mother.

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My 85 year old mother with dementia recently entered a hospice program and the home health care aide that they've been sending to my home to bathe my mom makes me feel very uncomfortable. The first thing that I noticed was that she wasn't bathing my mother at all when she thought I was occupied with other tasks and not watching her, this happened three of the four times she came to my home so far. There was just one time when the head nurse happened to be in my home, then she performed her job, I only imagine because her boss was there and she wanted to impress her.
Another thing is this person makes me feel very uncomfortable in my own home. She's not friendly at all and rarely says two words the whole ten minutes she's in my home. She also seems to have shifty eyes that betray her trustworthiness.
So I talked to the head nurse about not sending this woman to my home. I didn't want to get this woman in trouble so I told the head nurse that I was able to manage bathing my mom myself and didn't need the home health care aide, the head nurse seemed to try making an issue of it and repeatedly told me how important it was for this home health care aide to come to my home and bathe my mother even though I'm the one that bathes my mother every single day.
My issue seems to be that since I'm doing all the work why should this untrustworthy home health care aide be sent to my home to do nothing.
Am I wrong viewing things this way?

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Chimonger, you hit the nail on the head with every comment you made. This agency has committed every offense you stated. I have the name of a good agency that the Area on Aging gave to me and I will call them later today. I am expecting MIL to be released today and have to be ready for that. It's sad that the RN who comes here is the one and only person we look forward to seeing from that agency. We won't see her any longer.
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Talked to the HH agency and explained your comment to the aide. They can send a new aide for your mom. You can refused to sign the service you provided or you can even call the medicare if the agency refused to change. There are a lot of ways.. you can stop the service of the Home Health and find a new one.... or report to medicare.....Good Luch
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There are a lot of issues involved with agencies, hiring, training, scheduling, work conditions for caregivers. However, at the end of the day the primary caregiver has to consider the needs of the person they're caring for first. If you aren't happy with a caregiver, then you have every right to have that caregiver replaced. If you aren't happy with an agency, you have every right to change to a different one and you shouldn't feel guilty about that, because your thinking of the well-being of the person you care for.
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Home care-giving is tough work.
Workers who do it, often cannot qualify to do other work.
There is high turnover of workers at agencies, related to the agencies doing a number of things that make working for the agency a problem:
---assigning workers to environments they specifically asked to be avoided
[like, a non-smoker worker gets assigned to a smoker's house];
---assigning workers back-to-back shifts or rotating shifts or too many hours or coercing them to work beyond their physical limitations, etc.;
---contracts that benefit the agency, not the workers;
---poor training of workers;
---incomplete training of workers;
---Patients poorly assessed: UNder-assessed for level of care actually needed, causing workers to be assigned to clients needing more than they can do, or needing licensed nursing care;
---workers poorly assessed for their backgrounds, personalities, skills, health issues;
---agency gives assignments too far from worker's home;
etc.
So when one signs up to have home health care workers come to the house to care for their loved one, it's often a crap-shoot what kind of care one gets.

"Bonded" is supposed to mean that the agency will cover, or the bonding agent will cover, if the worker does something like theft or other.
IF the agency's brochure says they are "bonded" , then they legally have to be bonded.
IF something is removed from your house, and it was not supposed to be removed, the people who live there, or whoever is the POA for the person cared for, needs to file a police report for the missing items, and state in that report that they think the home-care worker removed it.
There may be other rules to follow, but those are basic. ,
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I say find another agency to go through. You shouldn't have to put up with anything but the very best care for your mom. I use to have a problem reporting caregivers that I wasn't happy with. Now I don't. It just blows my mind that they seem to hire just whoever and that's who they send our way. The last agency we were with, my mom's had her meds ripped off, not once but twice. I requested that girl be replaced of course. The next caregiver I had complained about a couple times in hopes they would talk to her about how she spoke to my mom, which wasn't outright yelling, but something bordering on it. She finally became gone when my daughter called one day and said that this lady had yelled at her about leaving the back door open. My daughter was waiting for our dog to do her business. Little chihuahua + winter = attentive bathroom breaks. Next comes the caregiver that actually would sit most her shift in her coat watching home improvement shows on my tv and ignore my mom. One day I was home during respite and actually had to cue the girl to do her job and when it came to taking my mom to the bathroom she didn't even know where the disposable underwear were kept. I called the next morning and had her replaced. The next girl was snotty and I dealt with it for a while, but then they (caregiver and/or agency) would change the schedule on me without notifying me and then the girl was coming in and whipping out her book within 5 minutes of arrival, ignoring my mom. Needless to say we are with a different agency now and we're barely there. I feel like I'm there, but with one foot out the door at the same time, because our regular caregiver took a month off from work and we got a replacement that would snap at me, jump over things (one time falling and bruising her knee), watching horror flicks on my mother's tv and spend most of her shift crying about her personal problems.
Good luck to you. Remember that your mom and you come first. Don't put up with crap and don't protect the caregivers, they can fend for themselves. If they get canned, chances are you're not the only one complaining anyway.
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Funnier: Turn over seems to be a common problem with agencies. People come and go all the time. We went through that for 9 months with my dad. However, having things so missing is a problem that I never dealt with. Talk to your local Area on Aging and ask them what in-home care agencies they feel are the best.

Good Luck, Cattails
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My MIL doesn't qualify for Hospice yet so we have a Home Health Agency that comes to bathe her and do small stuff. Over 29 months, we've had over 10 and maybe closer to 15 different aids come here. I've lost towels, wash cloths, small knick knacks and I don't know what else. It's impossible to accuse anyone because you haven't seen them do it. My husband has notice it, also. He hired this agency because the owner is a friend of his. Their literature says their girls are bonded. Maybe those are just printed words. I told my husband a few nights ago about my concerns about this agency and of the loss of towels, etc. He sarcastically said "If you want to change agencies, change". I told him I was going to because his Mother needed consistency and I needed one girl coming here. I was tired of the parade myself. There is something wrong when an agency can't keep qualified reliable people. I asked one girl who came here if she knew how to give a bed bath and she said she had never given one but she had seen it done before so how hard could it be? I will change, but I need to wait until MIL is dismissed from the hospital.
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I agree w/reporting her. No one should have to deal w/someone who doesn't do her job. If she loses her job, she deserves it for being lazy & shame on the head nurse for suggesting that your mother lie in her waste until the HHA arrives. If you would like someone to give her a shower, maybe they could come earlier? Your mother's skin could start to break down if left for hours in her waste. I would report the head nurse as well & if possible, look for another Hospice.
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Shame on that head nurse !!! What kind of a nurse is that who would recommend leaving your mother lie in her own waste !! She certainly does NOT have your mother's comfort at heart. In fact. what kind of a heart does she have at all ??? Get rid of both of them. And who cares if their feelings are "hurt". It's the care that your dear mother receives that is the most important !!!
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Plus with the economy the way it is, it is sad to have her get paid good money to do nothing when there are others who would LOVE to have a job with honest pay for hard work...
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