What are your favorite made up or "borrowed" words instead of cussing?

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Or, what are calming and funny things you think of when you start getting upset at your loved one- or anyone? ( Like Ruby Gettinger does- I miss her weight loss show) Favorite indulgence food or drink to calm down?

Most of the time, I try not to cuss and have but will start saying things like "ugggh" "Grrr" ..Or I get speechless or whatever slips off my toungue" For calming things, well I haven't figured it out yet... but roll my eyes and breathe. Caffeine and fast food or butter cream icing cake for me!!!

For funny... I think " I'm going to crack up soon, be taken away and go to the middle of no where ..maybe on a farm by myself and run "free" screaming while sadly scaring off all the farm animals who turn into giant cupcakes" Ok, so also I picture myself "dressing up like a clown with a happy face, running around with great big red lips ( half the size of my face) and do that thing where you put your fingers up and down your lips and it makes that "going crazy sound" ( or airplane sound however to describe it). Ooo don't forget that old commercial for " Calgon, take me away!" I also still recite that commercial.. but it never takes me away!!!! Lol!!! Hey that commercial is still on you tube!!!

Ok, so I know there is serious threads on how to calm down or calm someone down. Im not trying to not say those are not serious or say this is helpful advice for anyone. This is just for me. I really got upset with my grandpa right now and raised my voice and made a comment after getting blasted again" Coming home I thought" that's wasn't right of me, I should of done what I usually try to do which is all I listed. Its what I do to help me be calm. I am In a mood right now, and thought" Instead of repeating my life" I will say what I do to calm down etc- yes, I really do these!!!

Plus reading what I do, its a no brainier Im over weight and have weird dreams !!! Ha oh well, at least I made myself smile and hopefully someone else out there. OO darn, now Im craving a Bacon Cheeseburger with Jalapeno Poppers and dipping sauce on the side and a Dr Pepper!! :P

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I had a friend who would say "FOOF!!" It's short, snappy and you can say it as loudly as you need to to get your point across (with a smile or a growl). I love it and have used it ever since.
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"..swearing does help in coping with pain..."
After two weeks in hospital for a Pain Management tpype therapy/course focussing totally on self management.. plus I have since had other health care Drs and professionals read the studies done too, agree it certainly is true. My Dad said "bugger" (like when hitting his thumb carpentering).. but at times lectured us NOT to say it (because of what it literally meant.
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texarkana, you enlightened me; as a have a German sister-in-law who , I'm sure, says that! Aso I'm fairly sure saying Jesus is ony okay if you are actually calling upon Him -for His Name is Holy. I often walk that fine line of blasphemy (using The Lord's Name in vain), & genuinely saying it (usually over and over in quick sequence, plus 'calling upon' other Heavenly Names with supplication and help me).
Saying "holy cow" may (or may not!) inadvertently offend a Mormon. Apparently, according to the Holy Bible, we are not supposed to swear on God, or on ANYTHING created by Him (other than our own self I think).
But than here we are supposed to be talking on alternatives to blurt out avoiding corporeal, or Eternal insult! I've also never worked out with certainty if "Jeez" is not just a short form of Jesus. I apologise to God A LOT just BTW. "Far out Brussel sprout" is still my favourite. I keep going blank on all my other do-zees..
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"I swanee" -- a borrowed phrase from an older generation.
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Crap spackle, sweet zombie Jesus(God will forgive me, I know he/she has a sense of humor every time I see a man),holy cow Batman,Jesus palamino(I call on the Lord a lot),or I just say the actual words,sometimes I say "scheisse" German for sh*t ,pronounced "shy-zah"( my German maternal grandmother swore(lol) that sh*t was not a cussword, go figure.
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This is an old thread I am snswering to.. it ticked my fancy. Never grew up swearing. Said Holy Sh*t when nearly died in an horrific horse flying over hard and heavily eroded creek.. Two weeks before I got married said the F word.
Lived in many places but in one (apparently I encounterd many demons there) - so began the moral decline of using swear words.
no more "far out brusell sprout!", or "sugar ..plumb pudding", or simply and powerfully "Mum" "Mum (repeatedly)" & "Mummy" (when in extreme pain).
These days I pray. No, really; and it works too.
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You all have great points, and your right, what is obscene to some, doesn't bother others. I was raised not to cus but.. well, It happens! Some words aren't even considered cus words today( I think) but were back in the day!

I love all of your sayings and words, and honesty!!!
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When a situation honks me off, as in "What a pi88er" I say "How Incontinent!" only those in the healthcare or caregiving world get it, but they appreciate the sentiment.

The only other funny one I use is "Lord love an Irish duck" - I can remember my mom saying it when I was a kid. Only recently did I hear another person say it, but they only loved a duck, not an Irish one and it sounded so funny to me ;)

Unfortunately, I don't catch myself in time all the time, so I need to try to keep a better lid on it.
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the last time i visited it was more like " f this , cappy dont play this s*it , and the fridge door got reversed to make the kitchen work for them ..
g girl and i connected on pet peeves . we fix them while dumber people fight them ..
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im with ya kaz . a comment eluded me on this thread . different people have different ideas of what is obscene . a kid watching a movie with senseless violence in it is being exposed to obscenity far beyond the colorful words i use while im trying to teach them real life parables , philosophy and wisdom .
my grandson , ff junior , junior , keeps dropping the words " i love you granpa " on me while im up here visiting . its all i can do to refrain from saying " s*ck a d* ck homo and lets oil these sliding door rollers " .. his phrase and mine mean the same thing ...
fyi ; the slider door rollers got oiled while cubehead was gone to doc and strangely enough it was grandgirl ( #or ) , who couldnt wait to show our work off to dad when he got home . the kids and i connected but it wasnt with dolls or toy guns . im not trying to perpetuate childhood , im more interested in inviting them into adulthood .
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