He has a home health aide shower him, my mom who is 82 lives with him. She helps him but she is exhausted. He is up all hours of the night, gets frequent UTI infections, and she is so tired she falls asleep during the day a lot. He is very weak now, still walks with a walker but very slow, is continent thank God, will not stop eating fruit, you cant buy it fast enough for him. Was in a nursing home for a short term stay last summer. He cried so much I had to take him out, he was better when he left, but now he is worse again. Should he go back to the nursing home for short term again to get stronger, OR should he stay for long term? I dont know what to do. He still knows his family most of the time, and thats what is holding me back. I guess its the guilt he puts upon us. The crying breaks your heart! I just need advice! Thank You!
So u can either wait for a bad fall, because it will happen, or think about another solution. I know it's hard, but your taking the right step to try and do something.
Perhaps you can get your doctor to advice/prescribe a rehab stay, which would be covered by Medicare for up to 20 days. So you don't have to tell your Dad OR your Mom that this is for good. Once he's in a place, he can be better evaluated by the medical help and you go from there. It's a start.
Good luck. I couldn't be closer in your shoes. I went through the exact same thing.
My father had been quite weak and hospitalized - then on to rehab. to get him built up. But, sadly, it was the beginning of the end for him and had to end up staying permanently. I realize it is not something you want to happen, but there does come a point when living at a facility is in their best interests; especially as dementia progress. And I know you want to keep him safe and it is a traumatic drain on your mother. Maybe you could talk to his doctor and discuss the situation. Thinking of you..... and take care.